Stuff to Read First:
What do I do when I procrastinate??? I write psychotic parodies like THIS!! Um, Duo from Gundam Wing has a cameo appearance, but other than that, it's all FY people. Hope you like! ^_^Disclaimers:
Although I do own many Fushigi Yuugi video tapes and CDs (too many for me to be considered even remotely normal), I do not own the characters which appear in the following silly script. Likewise, I do not own Duo. He, like the others, lives in my mind and talks to me when I'm bored. ~.^;; BUT, he does not belong to me. Hmm, what else? I'm in this story, too. I own myself. Or, I like to think I do. ^_^Warnings:
Umm, this is a parody, so…OOC and then some, plus mocking of characters of whom I am very fond (so it's nothin' personal!).The Cult of Masculinity
(A Dramatic Title for a Not-So-Dramatic Fic)
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Mouse:
Gahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!! I hate school!Duo:
Whazzup?Mouse:
I hate school.Duo:
Why?Mouse:
Because I have an oral presentation to give tomorrow, and I don't wanna do it.Duo:
Well, remember that time I was captured by OZ and they beat me up and stuff?Mouse:
…Yeah…Duo:
That was possibly worse than having to do an oral presentation.Mouse:
Shut up.Nuriko:
Yo, dudes! How's it hangin'?!!! [flops down on the sofa and wipes his nose with his sleeve] We have any pork rinds? Hey, Duo! How's the gundam, man?! Wow, I love machines! Machines and…metal and…uh…hammers! [punches Duo into the wall]Mouse:
What…the hell.Duo:
Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you. Nuriko's trying to act more like a guy.Mouse:
By punching people into walls?! He did that when he was girly!!Nuriko:
Hey, you guys wanna go out later and wrestle alligators or something?!!All:
NO!!!Nuriko:
[mutters to himself] Buncha sissies.Hotohori:
Nuriko…I fear you are having a slight identity crisis…Tasuki:
Uhh, I think his identity crisis began a loooooooong time ago, if ya know what I mean.Hotohori:
Shut up. Nuriko…Nuriko:
[hacks up a loogie and spits it over the side of the sofa]Hotohori:
[winces] Nuriko?Nuriko:
Yes, Oh Wise Heika, Hotohori-sama, Ruler of Konan, whom I love but platonically because after all I'm a guy?Hotohori:
Look…you're not acting yourself…Nuriko:
Sure I am! [burps]Hotohori:
[whispers to Mouse] My goodness, he's far gone! What can we do??Mouse:
Just leave it to me. Hey, Nuriko!Nuriko:
Yah?Mouse:
Wanna go watch 'Titanic' with me?Nuriko:
'Titanic'?!! I LOVE that m…uh…..I mean, uh, of course not!! That's a chick flick! I was, uh, just on my way out to rent 'Half Baked'…Mouse:
Nuriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiko…it's got Leonardo di Caaaaaaaaaaaaaprio……Nuriko:
What are you implying??? I don't like Leo!! He's been corrupted by Hollywood!! Now, that guy from 'Good Will Hunting', on the other hand…Mouse:
HAH!!! Gotcha!!!Nuriko:
Dammit.Hotohori:
Nice save.Mouse:
Sure thing.Nuriko:
[sniff] I just wanted to be manly!!!Hotohori:
Listen, Nuriko: we don't care if you're manly or not! We like you for YOU!! We like you for being a confused, girly, slightly neurotic cross-dresser. If you were really an obnoxious, loogie-spitting, nose-wiping, machine-loving, alligator-wrestling, pork rind-eating clod, uh…well, we'd like you too!Mouse:
…Possibly.Duo:
Of course you'd like him! You like Tasuki, don't you?Tasuki:
HEY!!! I don't eat pork rinds!!Nuriko:
Really, Hotohori-sama?Hotohori:
Of course.Nuriko:
Does that mean you'll go on a date with me?Hotohori:
Uhhhhhh…no.Nuriko:
Curses.THE END
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Mouse:
AND THE MORAL OF THIS STORY IS…Can anyone guess???Nuriko:
Ooh, ooh, I know!!! Always be yourself!!Hotohori:
Your true friends will like you for who you are.Mouse:
Ummm….sure, that works…I was thinking more along the lines of 'Don't consume sugar at 11:00 pm, for insanity will ensue,' but yeah, yours are very good, too. Very moral.[Pause]
Nuriko:
Mouse-chan, you need serious help.Mouse:
You know it's true when you hear it from Nuriko, of all people…^_^
