Disclaimer: I don't own relic hunter or make any money from this fic.

This is my response to the Nigel and bungee jumping challenge. Its not quite what I originally intended - and is a very loose interpretation of the challenge - but demanded to be written! Sadly, it is based on my own recent experience with spiders and the alarm in my flat...

I hope you enjoy!

Spiders

by Katy

It was nearly 10 o'clock in the morning when Nigel finally appeared in the Ancient Studies office.

'Hey, you're late!' scolded Claudia casually. Glancing up from her nail polish she added: 'And you look terrible! Did you get dumped again?'

Nigel flopped down at his desk and peered at her from under a drooping, limp fringe. He was wearing the same purple shirt he'd worn yesterday with the top few buttons undone, and he certainly looked more dishevelled and rugged than usual: there were grey shadows under his eyes and a distinct hint of stubble on his chin. He was reluctantly opening his mouth to explain, when Sydney walked out of her office.

'Oh great, you're here,' she began, brandishing a browning, mediaeval document. 'I need you to translate this for me…' She trailed off as she registered his appearance. 'Uh, Nigel? What happened? Was it those Belgian mussels you bought at the stall yesterday? I knew they wouldn't agree with you… '

'Nothing's the matter!' he interjected crossly, 'and thank you both for the compliments on my appearance! I wouldn't mind, but I never seem to provoke such a reaction when I make an effort to look nice.'

'You always look nice,' soothed Sydney, figuring that Nigel had definitely got up on the wrong side of the bed that morning. 'Are you sure nothing is the matter?'

'Of course something is matter!' he snapped, in an abrupt U-turn. 'The burglar alarm in my flat has been going off all night. This is the third night in a row I've barely slept, and I feel like a zombie!'

'You look like one too,' chipped in Claudia unhelpfully. Sydney shot her a silencing look, as Nigel puffed irritably.

'Why didn't you just turn it off?' asked Sydney.

'Not likely!' he muttered. 'You're perfectly aware that, as your assistant, I'm the biggest kidnap target in North America - I have every part of my flat, excluding my bedroom and the ensuite bathroom, alarmed to the hilt! Not that I'm complaining, it's all part of the job - but I like to have a warning so I've got time to call the police, or at least make myself decent before the next round of thugs barge in!'

'Sorry,' grimaced Sydney. 'You should call in the service people. Have you any idea what set it off?'

'I know exactly what's setting it off,' moaned Nigel. 'It's a spider! A nasty, hairy, long legged, fat bodied spider! She comes out in the middle of the night and dangles in front of the alarm setting it wailing. She just does it to spite me - I can all but hear her laughing!'

'Can't you just squash her?'

'I've tried! But she's clever, you see - I attempted throwing things at her, catching her in a pot, I even tried sucking her up with a vacuum cleaner. Every time I get close, she just bungee jumps down from the ceiling and legs it under the skirting board! I'm plagued by a bungee jumping spider!'

'This is bad,' observed Sydney, biting her cheek in an effort not to laugh.

'Very bad,' agreed Claudia, not quite able to contain her giggles. 'Poor Nigel! Even the spiders have it in for him!'

He glared at them both. 'I don't think you're taking my problem seriously enough. If I don't get a decent night's sleep soon, I think I'll go mad!'

'Sorry.' Sydney smothered her laughter in a cough. 'I do think it's serious. I can't have my teaching assistant falling asleep during the one week of the year we are actually at the University to do some work.'

'Thank you,' sniffed Nigel. He shifted awkwardly on his seat and favoured her with an endearing, lopsided smile. 'So will you…um…'

'Come over and catch the spider? It will be a pleasure.' She laughed, warmly this time. 'Don't worry Nigel, you'll have a great nights sleep tonight - and I'll go on a spider hunt!'

………………..

It was around 2 a.m. when Nigel was awoken, this time by a humungous, splintering crash. He darted towards the living room not knowing what to expect - had Sydney got the spider? Or had the spider got her?

The sight that greeted him was not a pretty one. The table was overturned, bookcases upended and papers and volumes were scattered everywhere. Crouching in the middle, her eyes narrowed into a predatory stare, was Sydney Fox.

Sensing him in the doorway, she raised her hand to silence him.

'I nearly got it,' she hissed. 'But every time I get it on open ground - the ceiling, the top of the bookshelf - it just sort of…'

'Bungee jumps?'

'Yeah,' breathed Sydney. 'That spider is a pest…'

She broke off and launched herself forward like a pouncing panther, with a book in her hand. She viciously thwacked it down on the top of the single bookcase that remained standing causing it to totter precariously. She looked eagerly at the back of the book - there was no splatted spider!

As Nigel rolled his eyes in resignation, and the now terminally unstable bookshelf smashed to the ground, a well-rounded, long-legged arachnid plunged to the floor and disappeared between a crack in the skirting boards.

'Bugger! We've lost it now,' he sighed.

'No way!' snarled Sydney. 'I have never lost a relic, never been defeated by anyone before - I am not going to give in to an ugly, hairy spider!'

She felt a gentle hand on her shoulder. 'It's not worth it, Sydney. She won't come out again, not until the lights are out, and then we'll be back at square one… maybe you should go home?'

Sydney reluctantly realised her chance had probably passed for that night. 'Okay. But you're coming home with me – and every night until we catch that thing!

'I'm very grateful, but I couldn't possibly put you out like that.'

Sydney glanced up at him with a sly grin: 'I'm not being entirely selfish. I, uh, can't have my TA falling asleep over his marking, or so tired he can't tell his Aztec symbols from his hieroglyphs.'

'Yes, but…'

'No buts! You're coming home with me. I do have a spare room, remember, and I promise to keep you safe from kidnappers and spiders!'

'I'd appreciate that,' conceded Nigel finally. 'But I'll be out of your hair as soon as we get him.'

'Stay as long as you like!' Sydney jumped up, affectionately patted him on the arm, gave one glance around for the return of the bungee jumping spider, and then bundled him out of the flat.

She was still annoyed at being defeated - even temporarily - but at least there was one reward in it for her. Not that she was going to tell him until she got home, but she had recently lent her spare bed to a needy friend with a new flat. They were going to have to share hers! She knew he'd protest, but she'd win in the end - bliss!

Yes, a small part of her was quietly grateful to the bungee jumping spider…

THE END.

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