Panting with exertion, a black wolf finally surmounted the steep incline he'd been traversing as he climbed higher into the Ered Luin. The ridgeline he'd gained offered a spectacular view to the west, and the wolf stared as if transfixed. Shifting absently the Maia regained his usual form, kneeling as his long black hair swirled around him in the breeze. A new thought had gotten hold of him, and he couldn't seem to shake it off.
He didn't have to go back.
Never again would he leave Angband or Utumno or wherever else he'd been lurking, only to know that eventually, Morgoth would call him back. Even in those long years when he'd ruled Angband while Morgoth had been imprisoned in Valinor he'd had the worrying suspicion in the back of his mind that Morgoth would come back…
Never again.
Never again.
He couldn't go back, even if he wished to. Beleriand was drowning. The elves were probably mourning, but Mairon couldn't care less. For one thing, he hardly cared what they thought, annoying little creatures that they were. For another, he knew it was simply the natural consequence of having so many Ainur on the battlefields. But it felt right to the Maia. Part of him gloried in the drowning.
He didn't have to go back.
Trembling under an emotion he couldn't name to himself, Mairon stood, facing the west as Arien sank to her rest. It was gone. All of it. Utumno, Angband, Tol Sirion, Dorthonion…Morgoth…all the emblems and reminders of his long slavery. He was free.
A laugh was pulled from his lips, the first true laugh he'd given in ages, as his hands reached for the elusive stars and he spun around, the fierce heat of joy in his chest. He was free! He turned his back decisively on the West. No longer! No longer would he serve another in fear and longing for something that would never be his. No longer would he endure the servitude his creation as a Maia fated him to. He saw that beyond the ridgeline was a small valley, filled with a small lake and soft grass. He ran down the slope, tripping and tumbling down part of it in giggles. He felt happier than he ever had in Eä…happier than he could ever remember… For a moment, his mirth died in memories. But those were resolutely shoved back into the drowning west.
Never again.
Mairon got to his feet, and clambered onto a rock that stood partially in the lake, leaning over to see his own reflection. Bright golden eyes lit with excitement met his, and for a moment, the Maia contemplated jumping in. But something of sense remained untouched by the giddy joy, and protested it would be a very cold swim should he do that. Maybe tomorrow.
Tomorrow…
Tomorrow he'd still be here. Tomorrow he wouldn't have to worry about completing whatever it was he had been sent out to do. Tomorrow he would still have no other goal than his own happiness. For the first time in ages…
He was free.
Ooh, look, I'm alive. Yeah, I just haven't felt like writing lately...or like posting what I do write. See, I write because I want to, but I post because I think you people might want to read it. So when I posted the last few things and didn't much feedback on it, it kinda killed the posting urge. So seriously, people. Reviews feed the muse. Yes, I'm working on the next chapter of Reclamation, I know that's what you all really want.
