Ray Wars

Episode IV

A New Ray

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The Raypire's Ship blasted its raysers at the Raybellion's ship. On the Raybellion's ship, Princess Rayeia (Leia) put the secret Raypire plans for a new Jacuzzi in a CD and put the CD into Ray2D2 (R2D2). RAY2D2 and Ray-3P0 (C-3P0) ran out of the spaceship and illegally crossed the border into a new planet before being captured by Raywas (Jawas). Rayeia, on the other hand, was captured by Darth Ray (Darth Vader) and his raytroopers (stormtroopers).

Meanwhile, on the planet Raytooine (Tatooine), Luke Raywalker was living with his aunt and uncle when Obi-Ray-Kenobi (Obi-Wan-Kenobi) visited him. When the two first met, Obi-Ray was all like,

"You got the force, bro."

Luke was all like, "Alright, bro."

Suddenly, Ray2D2 did some stuff and Rayeia's message to Obi-Ray appeared saying, "You're my only hope. Not really, but I'd really appreciate it if you help."

Luke Raywalker and Obi-Ray-Kenobi soon went to the Mos Raysley Cantina to hire the help of Ray Solo and Raybacca to transport them on the Rayllenium Falcon. They were going to try to save Rayeia from the Raypire's forces, but on the way the to Death Ray (Death Star), they found out that the Raypire had just destroyed Rayeia's home planet, Mexico.

Obi-Ray-Kenobi, Luke Raywalker, Ray Solo, and Raybacca went to rescue Rayeia from the Raypire. They soon rescued her, but on the way to the Rayllenium Falcon, they were confronted by Darth Ray. Darth Ray soon fought Obi-Ray-Kenobi.

While fighting, Obi-Ray told Darth Ray about how he chopped off Darth Ray's arms and legs in the third Star Wars movie, The Revenge of the Ray. Enraged, Darth Ray attacked Obi-Ray. Obi-Ray then said his famous line,

"If you strike me down, I'll be more Asian than you could possibly imagine."

So Darth Ray struck him down.

Meanwhile, Ray Solo, Luke Raywalker, Rayeia, and Raybacca all ran back into the Rayllenium Falcon and escaped the Death Ray. They returned to the Raybellion's base. The Raybellion had detected a way to destroy the Death Ray, which the Raypire was planning to use to destroy the Raybellion's base. Luke Raywalker joined the attack squadron to destroy the Death Ray.

Luke was flying around the Death Ray, and the amount of shots he missed was equal to the amount of free throws Deandre Jordan misses. Suddenly, Luke got high and had a vision of Obi-Ray telling him to use the Force, so Luke used the Force to try to fire at the Death Ray at the exact spot he needed to hit to destroy the Death Ray. He missed.

Fortunately, though, Luke used the Force 38 more times and finally hit the exact spot he needed to hit, and the Death Ray blew up and got destroyed. When Luke got back to the rebel base, he and his friends were rewarded for being heroes. However, Darth Ray and the Raypire were still out there, plotting to destroy the Raybellion…

Reviews*

"The best part of the story was when it ended."

-The Ray York Times

"5 stars… out of 100 stars."

-The Ray Street Journal

"Lol."

-The Raycago Tribune

"This was more trash than my ex"

-Random columnist from the Los Raygeles Times

*Reviews were not actually real