A/N: Happy birthday, Mio! Instead of a solemn story I originally planned, this light-hearted one was written instead. It's a product born of stress and too much coffee, and it has nothing to do with the birthday theme…
Anyways, I have to say it's nice to write something that doesn't have to make sense once a while :3 As short as the chapters are, I feel it's best to separate them (because I couldn't finish the whole thing in time OTL but at least each one is already outlined)
Reminder that this story is AU, mixed certain references that will be fairly obvious as the story goes on.
Without further ado, let me welcome you to this random tale!
Disclaimer: I don't own K-on, as well as the references used throughout the story
Warning: 'wtf' components within the plot
Thanks to ghikiJ for beta :3
"My prince! Please sign my heels!"
Lustrous black strands billowed behind a tall girl as she sprinted down the gravel path, frightened and confused by the persistence of her pursuer. She hastily turned corner and almost knocked down a vendor setting up the stall.
"I'm sorry about that," the girl held out a hand to steady the person before she resumed running.
"What's going on?" The vendor's husband asked.
"Oh, it's just the usual, dear. A fangirl went wild again."
The moment the elderly woman uttered the reply, an orange-haired girl dashed after her prey in an incredible speed impossible for someone wearing a pair of glass heels.
"Please wait up!"
The said prey squeaked fearfully and increased her pace, not daring to look back. She was grateful that she accidentally wore her father's boots instead of her usual footwear, which was the only reason that she was able to escape her pursuer's clutches so far. Originally, she planned to find a secluded spot to enjoy a paperback novel in peace and perhaps even write some lyrics, so why did this happen?
Little did she know, the chase was only the beginning of her story.
A legend to be passed down through generations, a tale like no other…
…in many ways.
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Prologue – A Heroine's Humble Origin
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Akiyama Romio, or commonly known as Mio by her peers, came from an ordinary family and should have remained an inconspicuous civilian in this humble little tale.
However, Fate decided to have Its fun and simply dropped dilemmas one after another on the poor girl.
Apparently, her demeanor and princely aura garnered the attention of fellow village girls and boys, and she even won the respect of the local wealthy merchants through her intelligence unexpected of a commoner like her. Years went by and Mio grew up into a gorgeous lady and gained even greater popularity that formed into a fanclub.
Which caused the raven-haired beauty's current predicament.
"Akiyama-san, you're my destined one! Marry me!"
Grey-blue eyes flashed in alarm at the hysterical call and almost caused Mio to trip. She ran and ran, confused as to why she was being chased by someone she barely knew. Those glass heels, however, looked just like the ones she threw away yesterday because they didn't fit her anymore. But why did Miss Megumi have them and why did this mean they must get married?
It didn't make sense! All she wanted was peace and quiet!
But much to her horror, more and more over-zealous admirers joined the chase and forced her out of the alleyways into the main street. Before she knew it, she was cornered against the infamous landmark of this little village.
The giant strawberry.
Legend said that the colossal fruit existed long before people settled here. It never went bad even as decades and centuries went by, and no one ever tried to understand its mysteries. It was as if the details were meant to be unsolved, a plot hole deliberately overlooked by the writer of this tale.
Anyways, Mio was completely trapped by her fans and, judging from the weird gleams in their eyes, she knew she did not have long until they pounced on her like a pack of hungry predators. She desperately looked around her for any means of protection, anything she could use to fight off these unreasonable fanatics. When she spotted a strange yellow object sticking out of the enormous strawberry, she instinctively pulled and freed it from the fruit.
The crescent-shaped object was roughly the size of a banana, but she did not have time to ponder any further because a blinding light suddenly enveloped the item.
The noise around her faded. The fans stopped advancing. Each and every single one of them was staring at the floating object with their mouths agape because…
… it started speaking!
"Phew, finally! I was starting to think I'd never be freed!"
Mio was so shocked that she couldn't even scream at this supernatural occurrence. Her erratic gasps, however, seemed to draw the talking article's attention.
"You! Did you pull me from that damnable strawberry?"
Still speechless, Mio nodded timidly and wondered when she would wake up from this bizarre nightmare. Why weren't the fans saying anything? Then again, everyone must be as stunned as she was, witnessing this absurd phenomenon spinning exuberantly in mid-air.
"My name is Jurietsu, a princess!" The object wiggled smugly, "That's right, you commoners, this is royalty you're speaking to!"
"... princess?" The raven-haired girl managed to croak as her short-circuited brain successfully rebooted.
"Yup! You must be so amazed, aren't you?"
"…not really-"
"I see my awesome presence is too much for you poor thing," the talking wonder bobbed slowly, in a motion akin to a human nodding, "But being the kind and lovely girl I am, you may call me Ritsu!"
Mio's eyebrow twitched. Her surprise and involuntary fear of the unknown object were rapidly fading due to this inexplicable irritation with the speaker. Her rational side was kicking in, thankfully, so she must try to make as much sense as possible to ease her growing migraine.
"Okay…what are you then? And where did you come from?"
"What do you mean what am I? I already said-" Ritsu went rigid for one moment before it began zipping around the groaning girl as if it were panicking. "Holy- Where is my body? Why am I like this? Oh mah gad! What's going on? Tell me tell me tell me!"
Mio snatched the annoying thing out of the air like one would do to a persistent bug. "Calm down!"
"Calm down? How do you expect me to calm down? I'm missing a body! My body-"
Fed up by the ceaseless chatter, Mio impulsively chucked Ritsu as far as she could but much to her disappointment, it came flying back to her palm like a boomerang. Wait, did this mean she was its owner now or something?
"How dare you manhandle me! Come on, tell me what's going on and I just might forgive you!"
"That's what I'd like to know too! This isn't making sense!" Frustrated, the raven-haired girl rubbed at her temples in hopes she would wake up somehow to regain her peace. She admitted that she tended to fantasize about magical worlds and mythical creatures but none of her imaginations even compared to this crazy reality she was forced to confront. Why was she stuck in a random plot that only existed in those crack entries she took great care to avoid reading? And if that was the case, shouldn't some unexpected help show up by now?
"Legend says that this boomerang once belonged to a princess of a faraway kingdom."
Mio blinked as a knight suddenly materialized beside the giant strawberry, like she had been standing there all along and only chose this moment to become visible. The long-haired stranger was even taller than the village idol, but her kind smile made the latter feel she could be trusted. Usually, the so-called 'unexpected help' was harmless, right?
"Some say that the princess fell into an eternal sleep after eating a poisonous banana, while others say that she was prickled by a broken drumstick and hit her forehead on a table. There are many variations," the newcomer paused and stared at Ritsu.
"What? I don't remember what happened!"
"Right," the knight nodded solemnly, as if unaffected by the ridiculous story she was reciting, "Either way, the princess's soul was separated from her body, and its whereabouts is unknown." She paused and waited for the boomerang to stop wailing before continuing, "An undetermined amount of time went by and she still awaits the help of whoever pulled the swor- ahem, boomerang from the magical fruit. Only the worthy one can help her reunite with her body, and that person is you, Akiyama Romio."
"O…kay…" Mio glanced at Ritsu, who was expressing its distress by doing somersaults in the air, and decided she did hold responsibility for unleashing this…creature upon mankind, "So what am I supposed to do then? And who are you? How do you know my name and where did you come from?"
"I am Sir Sachi, your most loyal knight," the tall girl bowed in respect but did not answer the other questions, "By freeing the boomerang, you are now the King."
"King Romio!" "Your Majesty!" "I like prince better…" "King!" The fangirls clamored and began discussing fervently amongst themselves. Mio had completely forgotten about them but she quickly blocked them out and focused on the new preposterousness at hand.
"The …King? Of what?"
Again, Sir Sachi did not answer. "Everyone must recognize you as the rightful ruler and we, the rest of the Knights of Triangular Table, will ensure that you obtain your rights."
The raven-haired girl held her breath and waited for more people to materialize out of thin air, but nothing happened and the knight continued speaking unconcernedly. "Since you were the only person to succeed in pulling out the swor- the boomerang, you must go on a journey to find the princess's lost body."
Mio almost groaned aloud. Why her?
"King Romio!" "No, don't leave us, Your Majesty!" "We haven't gotten married yet, Akiyama-sama!" "What, what said you have the right to do that!" "I happen to be the only one to fit her Majesty's heels-"
On second thought, going to a place far far away sounded quite appealing. Surely, being stuck with the annoying boomerang was much better than enduring these manic fangirls?
"How about you, Sir Sachi? Will you be accompanying us?"
"Unfortunately, I must stay within the vicinity of this village, but in the duration of your journey, I will take care of your Queen for you."
Silence. An admirer gasped and dramatically fell to the ground, but no one paid the unimportant character any attention.
"Queen...?" Mio felt really drained by all this nonsense. She was only eighteen and she hasn't dated anyone yet, let alone been married!
"You cheated on me?" Ritsu wept and shot towards her face. Growling in annoyance, she whacked the boomerang away but that did not deter it from zooming close once more. "I can't believe this! Here I am, thinking my brave prince might the one for me-"
"Quiet!" She grabbed the floating object and shook it roughly, "We just met and I don't even- you know what, never mind. Sir Sachi, who is this Queen you speak of?"
"You cherish her the most, Romio," the knight replied calmly.
Grey blue eyes slowly gleamed in fondness when comprehension dawned upon her. Of course, how could she not realize it sooner? "Yes, I love her very much," Mio ignored the horrified gasps echoing all around her, "but I see what you mean…I cannot bring her on the journey with me."
The fangirls buzzed loudly as they tried to figure out this Queen's identity, while Ritsu fell oddly silent. The village idol rubbed her temples before bowing to the knight in sincere gratitude. "I trust you to take great care of her, Sir Sachi."
"Of course, Your Majesty," she tapped the sunfish emblem on her armor and saluted.
Mio nodded and stared into space sadly. Yes, she would miss Elizabeth a lot. The bass had been her wonderful companion all these years while she created simple tunes to go with her lyrics.
"Wait, I'm not just hearing things am I? It sounds like you're willing to help me retrieve my body," Ritsu tilted to the side, seemingly subdued by its rescuer's change in attitude.
Mio brushed her fingers through her hair and sighed in resignation. "Of course, you've been forced to sleep all this time when you could be out enjoying the world like a normal girl."
Maybe it was her imagination, but the boomerang seemed to darken a few shades at her words.
"Besides, I'm obligated to go, aren't I? I did pull you out of the strawberry after all. I still don't understand this matter about being King but I do know you can't stay in this form," she said firmly, surprised at her own decision. However, the whole day had been so weird that that going with the flow actually made sense. And perhaps something interesting might happen along this journey. "I might get my inspiration back too."
"Inspiration? Are you a writer or what?"
"I…write lyrics and sometimes sing to myself," Mio muttered, feeling shy at revealing her hobby to a stranger.
"Cool! Can I hear you sing? Sing for me, oh Romio!"
"No!" The irritation returned at full force. "And don't call me that. Mio's fine."
"D'aww, come on, Mio~"
The village idol and the floating boomerang bantered back and forth, while all the other characters completely faded into the background like they never existed in the first place and were only there for space-filler. The origin of the giant strawberry was still unexplained, the Akiyamas were not informed of their daughter's departure and did not seemed worried either, and there were so many things Mio should have done before she agreed to this impromptu trip.
But logic and reason took a back seat due to Ritsu's constant distractions, as well as Mio's inner desire to experience a magical adventure.
And thus began the unlikely pair's epic journey.
Without any preparations whatsoever.
A/N: Needless to say, this story is crack.
Naturally, there are so many unexplained details but I guess I'm allowed to get away with those :3;; I tried to keep every character as true to their canon selves as possible, so hopefully any OOC they have is within reason.
It's my first time narrating in this manner too, so I don't know how it came out. Any feedback is welcome :3
Inspired by Athyra-senpai's A Reverse Cinderella Tale.
Hopefully people got some chuckles out of this :3;;;
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Short Preview:
They wove between the trees and avoided stepping into muddy ground, even though the raven-haired girl was shaking so much from the hoots and howls echoing in the ominous forest. She also heard a distant voice yelling "Jaga-jan!" but she probably imagined it.
However, her fear completely disappeared the moment they stepped into a clearing.
Where a cute girl with soft triangular ears and a bushy tail was setting up the picnic table.
