TITLE: CONCERNING THE DEVIL

RATING: G

SUMMARY: Harry is going to kill Malfoy. Hermione is the only one who stands in his way. Well, sort of.

DISCLAIMER: I am character poor. I own none of them. They nibble on the soft bits of my brain as if it were cookie dough.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: This just wrote itself in five minutes while I was avoiding an essay. I decided to keep it fast and simple, which is why it is only dialogue. Comments? Suggestions? Cookies?

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'Harry, where are you going?'

'To kill Malfoy. Or maybe turn him into a ferret. Not sure yet.'

'But Harry you can't! You're a prefect now!'

'Point being?'

'People look up to you...you have to set an example.'

'I am. Malfoy's an evil git and he ought to be toast.'

'I don't think that's a very healthy attitude.'

'Ah. But I've always had a few screws loose right, Hermione? That's why you love me. I'm insanely endearing.'

' - '

'Okay, okay, what do you want me to do? He turned Ron into a roast lamb at dinner time – Madame Pomfrey's still trying to get the bite marks off – and poor Crompton Creevy needs counselling due to the fact his dinner started yelling "Harry, help me!" when he bit into it!'

'Now Harry, please don't get mad but –'

'I won't as long as you don't say something stupid.'

'Well, don't you ever think, maybe, we ought to try and settle some sorts of truce with Malfoy?'

'WHAT?!'

'Harry, please, just list-'

'Hermione, you are advocating a pact WITH THE DEVIL. What part of that can possibly be a good idea?!'

'It's just that Malfoy isn't evil or stupid, I mean, he's bloody annoying, arrogant, ignorant and a bunch of other choice phrases I may avoid using due to presence of, oh, half the Gryffindor House right now – but perhaps we should think through a new approach? ... Harry? Harry, where are you going?'

'I'm going to think through your new approach – '

'Good. Thankyou for being reasonable – '

' – while Malfoy is bouncing up and down as a ferret! Night!'