Title: This Is Not You
Rating: T
Pairing: Chuck/Blair
Summary: Set in season two when Blair is feeling lost and determined to get rid of the old Blair forever. Chuck confronts her and tries to tell her that this isn't who she is, but does Blair really want to be the old Blair anymore?
Disclaimer: I do not own anyone or anything from Gossip Girl!
What the hell was she doing? I understand that Blair is upset about college and not being able to go to her school of choice, but this was completely unneeded. Yale was not her only option and here she was acting as if it were the end of the world. I get that Yale had been her plan since she was old enough to understand what college was, but causing a scene like this wasn't the way to deal with it. Blair was going to ruin her reputation if she kept going on this path and I would not allow that to happen. I cared too much about her let her ruin her life over one stupid school. Yale accepting her or not I would not let her destroy herself.
As she left the room after drawing more attention to her radical behavior I decided that I would follow her. She glanced back at me wearing a smug expression before turning her head away and ignoring my presence completely. Reaching out I grabbed her arm and spun her around to face me. "Are you about done?"
Her eyes were filled with a rebellious fire as she looked at me as an obstacle and nothing more. "No."
"What are you doing?" I questioned shaking my head at her behavior. She wasn't acting like Blair Waldorf at all. She was acting more like me and in any other situation I may be proud, but I didn't want her to be my personal clone, I wanted her to be Blair Waldorf because I loved her. "Trying to destroy the old you? Burn every bridge? It won't help, believe me I've tried."
If anyone could understand what she was doing then it would be me. For years I had tried to become someone else. I learned a long time ago that I would never be good enough in my father's eyes and so eventually I had simply stopped trying. So yeah, I get why she wants to become someone else, but I also know that it won't take away the pain and rejection she is feeling. The only way Blair is ever going to be able to move on is if she faces her problems head on and stops running from them. She was scared and yet she didn't have to be because she had people who would be there for her and I was one of them. I would not let her go through this alone.
"Well maybe I should head up to the roof and make it a little more dramatic." She bit out trying to hurt me as she walked away, but I reached out to grab her arm again. I would not let her go until I somehow managed to get through to her.
"This isn't you." I silently pleaded with her to just agree with me.
I did not want to fight with her right now. I wanted to make her see she was being stupid. The girl I had grown up knowing was stronger than this, but as if right now in this moment I saw no traces of the girl I had once known. Right now she was nothing more than a shell of her former self. I do not think I had ever seen her like this, not even after Nate had broken her heart. Even when Serena came back or when she was fighting with bulimia she had still been the strong girl only going through a rough patch. I would rather she be angry that what she happened to be right now.
"How do you know?" Her eyes locked with mine as she glared at me with a fire I had never seen. Her expression was cold and uncaring and so unlike Blair that it actually terrified me.
"Because I know you better than I know myself." I admitted truthfully while at the same time releasing my hold on her arm.
I had never been so open with anyone in my life and right now I was letting everything out on the table. If she asked me to tell her I loved her I think I would if I thought for a second it would make her turn back in to the Blair Waldorf I had fallen in love with in the first place. I'd do about anything to have that girl back instead of the one currently standing in front of me. She had been there for me when I needed her and I was determined to be there for her even if she did not want my help or the help of anyone else for that matter.
Almost as soon as the words left my mouth her entire expression changed to something seductive and mischievous tangled in to one. Her left hand reached out to toy with the ends of my grey jacket. "Oh right, you can see right through me can't you Chuck? Right to my core?"
I didn't know what to say as she pushed me by the shoulders back against the wall of the hallway. All I could was continue staring at her wondering what the hell she was playing at now. Her hands ran up and down my arms before she moved my hands down so they were grasping the back of her thighs. "Do you remember the first time you saw the real me? When I danced for you that night at Victrola? The Blair with none of the frustrations, none of the hang ups? That's the Blair right here."
With that said she pressed her lips to mine and it took all of my will power not to kiss her back. Yes, this is what I wanted, but now how I wanted to get it. She wasn't the Blair she had been the night at Victrola. That Blair had been carefree not emotionally dead. There was a difference and I wanted the Victrola Blair not the one practically throwing her-self at me. Her fingers laced in my hair at the back of my neck as she leaned in to kiss me again with her body pressed up against mine.
"Take me now." She whispered against my lips letting her warm breath hit my face and I had to close my eyes for a few seconds in order to gain control over my better senses. Any other girl wouldn't even have to ask, but then again Blair had always been different and that is what had drawn me to her in the first place.
I let my gaze travel the length of her face hoping that I would be able to see any sign of the girl I was in love with. Maybe then I would be able to give her what she wanted, but I couldn't do that until I knew the real reason behind why she wanted this and why now. "Why?"
Blair pulled back slightly to smile at me as if I had asked the most obvious question possible. "To prove that nothing matters."
It was those five words which sealed that nothing would be happening. I didn't want her to want me so that she could prove a point to herself. I wanted Blair to want me because she loved me and craved me as I did her. I tore my mouth away from hers and squeezed my eyes shut tightly. "No, this isn't you. That's not the Blair I want."
When I dared to open my eyes again she had pushed herself away from the wall and shook her head at me. She was angry and hurt I could tell. Deep down I knew the real reason behind her emotional distress, but right now she was acting as if she was angry with me when in reality she was angry with how her world seemed to be crumbling around her. I wouldn't be her fall back no matter how much I may want to be. I was better than that. She was better than that. More importantly we, the two of us together were better than that.
With a pissed off smile on her face she slapped my hands off of her thigh's. "That's right and I never will be again. Goodbye Chuck."
I watched her walk away knowing I should follow her and yet I couldn't seem to. There was no way I would be getting through to her tonight. Someone else had to try because I was done trying at least for tonight. I had basically told her that I loved her without actually saying the words and my effort only succeeded in getting the words tossed back in my face. I would get my Blair back, but obviously that would take time. I was willing to wait and come up with a better plan of action. If it was Yale she wanted then maybe I could find a way to give her Yale. If she wouldn't accept me then I would give her the thing she wanted second. I would find a way to give her Yale even if it took every cent I had.
THE END!
AN: Here is another one-shot and I think this one came out alright. This was a good scene I think because it showed how much Chuck truly cares about her. When I watched this episode it was easy to see how hard he was fighting giving in to her and while I kind of wish he would have, I was glad that he didn't because it showed the depth of his feelings for her. I hope that you all liked this and I would love to hear your thoughts. Also, remember if you have a scene you want to see in his POV then let me know in a review or a PM. Oh by the way, I have a couple of Chuck/Blair video's up on Youtube if you want to check them out. My name on there is the same as on here so it should be easy to find. If you can't find them and still want to see them then message me and I will send you the link.
Please R&R like always!
