Disclaimer: All recognised twilight characters and other twilight centered drama belongs to Stephanie Meyers. Everything else belongs to me.


Hi all, I haven't written anything in a while so the writing might be a bit rusty! But either way I hope you enjoy the first chapter I think it might be a multi chaptered story not very long but the longest I've ever published. Anyway I hope you enjoy it.

Happy 2011 may all your dreams come true.


Hopeless dreams and everlasting memories

Chapter 1

Sam's POV

I can remember it being a Sunday. The sun was for once shining; it really does in La Push. The clouds were far away and so were all the dramas of the last three months. You and I were finally moving on. You never looked more beautiful than you did on that warm Sunday in summer. You wore a lemon dress, its fabric hugging your curves in just the right way you eyes sparkling with love and happiness. It was Seth's 13th birthday. You decide that he deserved a birthday party because when I left you he was there. He held your hand when I couldn't; he passed you tissues when I caused your tears. He listened to your cries of pain when all of them were caused by me leaving.

You said he was there for you and that someone as pure as him needed more than just a birthday cake. He needed to be celebrated as being one of the most wholesome people you've ever met.

That day was the happiest I ever saw you.

Two months later I imprinted on YOUR cousin. MY Emily.

I remember telling you. It was after the incident. I had mauled her face, destroyed her beautiful face.

Even if I wanted to try and make a choice the guilt it made me stay. So that day at the hospital when I asked you to come outside to talk to me I figured you were the strongest you would survive. I walked you to our bench I hadn't seen you for nearly a week. Your eyes shone with anger and sadness over Emily. I think you knew before even I did. You didn't try to hug me or kiss me even when you sat down, after I had, you sat at the opposite side. You used always side as close as possible, even when we fought. I turned to you and I understood, even if you didn't, even if I could never tell you, I understood I wasn't good enough for you.

"Leah, I..." The words caught in my throat. I didn't want to do this; I could feel Emily inside though waiting for me... "Leah, I think we need to...am I think we need to break up...I'm so sorry Leah but I fell in love with someone else...and...Leah?" I turned to you and you were looking straight at me with nothing... no sadness no anger...you just looked... Softly I spoke one word our word "Lee-Lee?"

All of a sudden you stood up and you broke me right there so softly you let me know you knew...knew what I had done

"Go to Emily Sam, she needs you right now." I heard the break in your voice so small that if I was human I wouldn't have heard it at all.

"Leah..." you had started walking away from me. You got into your dad's beat up truck and drove away. That night I went to your house to see if you were ok but I couldn't see you your now 13 year old brother stopped me at the door. I'd never seen him so angry...he was the boy who always smiled...

"Walk away Sam. You're not coming into this house tonight or any night soon." He stated it so coldly as if he never knew me.

"But Seth I just want to see"...my words were failing my for the second time that day "Is she ok?" I asked softly.

"No, but she will be and if you want to help stay away and Sam ask Emily to stay away too she already chose you" He became a protector for the first time that night, even if he didn't know it I could see the wolf in his eyes...his willingness to protect his family, it shone brighter than any I've seen in a wolf since.

I did what he asked I stayed away and at first I asked Emily to stay away too, it was easier at the start she was recovering from her surgeries and we were getting to know each other. Two months later she moved into my house I came home after a patrol and to the smell of baking muffins in the oven, a clean house and a box by the stairs saying one word. LEAH.

It was then it had hit me what I had done. How 19 years of friendship had been packed away by me in one box. I just threw it away.

"Emily why is that box at the stairs? Wasn't it in the spare room?" I waited for an answer I knew I didn't want to hear.

"I think it's time we visited Leah. Tonight it's Aunt Sue's birthday so my mum asked us to go over I said we would. I saw that box and we'll I thought you might like to give Leah back her things...I mean I know Leah she'll be missing her iPod! I can't believe you haven't dropped it over to her but it'll be a good excuse to talk to her...I think it's time we all move on it's been two months...oh my muffins! Go for a shower Sam we leave in 20 minutes" As Emily ran from the sitting room to the kitchen to save her blueberry muffins from burning I ran to the bathroom. It was there I saw the man I had become I had faced vampires but I couldn't face her. One girl, my girl, my Leah.

Emily was right it has been two months since we saw her, it has only been one night since I saw her. Even though Seth asked me not to and I didn't approach her...every night I would go the woods outside her house and just lie there and think. Think of the boy I used to be the man I could have been. I saw her looking out the window and I felt she was looking at me as if she knew I was there. Impossible, she's human but Leah always knew me better than anyone else. She still does. Every night since becoming this monster I ran around her house making sure she was safe even the imprint couldn't make me not want to protect her!

How was I going to get through this night? I haven't wanted to see her. To do that I'd have to let go and that was the one thing I was not ready to do even if I should be.