Kara felt it when she cracked. It was as if the built-up pressure was finally too much, and a crack had opened up in her torso as if her heart had been ripped from her chest, and then someone proceeded to tear the organ into pieces.

She had lost another person she had treasured. Again, another person had been ripped from her life by circumstances she had no control over.

He was gone. Mon-el was gone.

It had been months, and yet it hadn't gotten substantially easier.

She had attempted to busy herself in Catco and Supergirl work, but it didn't work. She had picked up that particular coping mechanism from Eliza, and she found it was not effective this time around. Eliza had always worked extra hard when something terrible happened, especially when Jeremiah "died," and Kara had found such a trait to be admirable and strong. It had reminded her of her mother back on Krypton. So, it's no surprise Kara reverted to what she admired and knew. Then she tried to hide behind the Supergirl persona; however, that didn't work either. Nothing seemed to work.

To make matters worse, her home, her apartment, didn't feel like home anymore. Her apartment was so lonely; heck, the whole world was lonely.

"If it were Maggie," Kara's hand hit the counter with a thud, "what would you be doing? If the woman you're about to marry was gone forever, what would you be doing?" Kara questioned unrestrained, and Ire present in her voice. Her blue eyes narrowing fiercely at her sister.

"I-I–," her sister stutters back at her.

"You'd be at the bar every night. You'd be a wreck at work. You'd be broken." Kara snaps, her voice stilted and glossed with indignation. Detailing her intricate knowledge of her sister, and her eyesheld a knowing look.

"I would. I would be," Alex shrugged and nodded her head in agreement, "And it's okay if you are." Alex replied softly and gently, slowly approaching the Girl of Steel again. Her heart clenching at the idea of what Kara must feel.

"I'm not," replied Kara—chill, and rigidity, permeating her tone. "That's what humans do," Kara paused letting the words sink in, "And I'm better than that," she finished coldly.

That encounter had happened weeks ago…

if she was glass figurine, kara was fragmented and cracked. The big crack, from the buildup of pressure, was just the onset; one crack led to another and to another. The cracks kept scattering—divulging new pieces that needed to be held in place. Kara was a glass figurine, and her arms could no longer hold herself together. She could no longer keep all her pieces in place. She had to let go, and so, she let go, and the pieces scattered to the floor.

She was broken. And, so, here she was; here at the Dive Bar.

Kara took a long swig of the foreign alcoholic beverage the bartender had served her. What it was specifically, she had no idea. Nor, did she care. Everything was too much. She couldn't do it anymore.

The Dive Bar had held various good memories for her, and the lack of a specific employee made Kara press the glass to her lips once again, craving another swallow of alcohol and hungering for the burning sensation as the liquid glided down her esophagus.

It was funny, in an ironic way. She'd gone to the same vice her sister turned to for comfort. The same vice she'd so vehemently hurled, without mercy, at her sister weeks ago. Downing her feelings in alcohol— Alex had done this dance, this routine, numerous time. She had always disapproved of Alex's unhealthy coping mechanism, but what could the almighty Supergirl say now? Here she was doing the same thing—trying to drink away the pain. Trying to numb it out. She wanted to experience the feelings, the high, when she had gotten drunk with Mon-el. That day, in particular, Kara learned why humans, why her sister, loved alcohol so much.

When Kara had gone to order her first drink, the one she was currently drinking, she hesitated, realizing she didn't know what precisely to order for the purpose she had in mind. When she had delayed with her order and settled for "give me something strong," the alien occupying the stool next to her at bar counter instructed the bartender to serve her up a more specific drink and paid for it. Hence, she didn't exactly know what she was drinking, but it sure felt nice as it settled in her stomach and, to her, that's all that mattered.

For Kara, drinking had been a temptation before this, but she had been strong enough to resist the temptation. Today, she couldn't. And, today, M'gann was not here to stop her from giving into the temptation like she had done when Alex skipped out on earth birthday. Today, Kara just needed something. Something to make it all stop.

Kara hoped, if she got herself drunk, she could pretend she was okay. She could be what she seemed to be on the outside. She hoped she could be happy and cheerful as when she had first gotten drunk here.

Kara wolfed down the last of the red liquid in her glass and set the glass down on the counter.

Whatever she had just drunk was good. Really good.

Kara began to realize that this method of coping was much easier than drowning herself in work. She felt funny, a sort of good funny.

A feeling of warmth fizzed in her stomach. The fizzing was soothing in a calming way. Still, even with the sensation, her emotions lingered in the background. The ache, her fears, and the hurt—it was all still there. She needed to drown it out. She wanted to make the warmth more prominent, more encompassing if she could, and Kara decided to order another round of whatever that was she just had.

"Soooo, what did you think of the drink?" asked the friendly stranger sitting next to her, startling Kara out of her thoughts, and bringing her back to the setting of the Dive Bar.

The alien, Kara was unsure if the alien was male or female, looked at her expectantly. This alien was the one who had helped her with ordering. Kara turned on her barstool and looked at the alien fully, giving him her full attention.

"well, it's much better than Vodka," Kara replied. A smile graced her lips with ease, "What's your name again, and the name of the drink?" Kara slurred out slightly. The smile on her face felt foreign for second as if it shouldn't have been so easy for her lips to form.

"Actually, I don't think I ever introduced myself. My name is G'kika." the alien replied. "The drink is Fruflalian Moonshine. As the name suggests, it comes from the Fruflalians. One of the only good things to come from the Fruflalians."

G'kika was teasingly shoved by the crimson alien that sat next to them— "Hey, not cool," spoke the crimson alien.

The crimson-colored alien leaned slightly to the side, still sitting on the bar stool, looking around G'kika to make eye contact with Kara. "Don't listen to my friend, us, Fruflalians, have contributed more than making good moonshine. Though I will say nothing they serve here beats Fruflalian moonshine. Call me biased."

The alien reached around G'kika and offered her his hand, "The name's Ehtel"

"Mine's Kara," she said and shook his hand.

"We'll show you all the good stuff here. Us aliens have to stick together, you know," piped up Ehtel as he withdrew his hand.

Kara's brow crinkled unsure how they figured out she was an alien. She hesitated for a moment, mouth agape, attempting to articulate a reply—

"You don't smell human," Ehtel explained and snorted. His large nostrils flared at the action.

Ehtel's skin was red, red like red velvet cake. Blotches of black patterned his face, and he distinctively had two small triangles of black decorating his nose and near his eyes. Black and gray, curly, and short locks lined his head and traveled down his spine much like a hyena. When he smiled, sharp canine teeth were visible, but instead of being frightening, his teeth gave him a goofy and mischievous smirk. His yellow butterscotch eyes were captivating. Ehtel's eyes had very a distinct essence of warmth as if the butterscotch color in his eyes was freshly melted. The warmth in his eyes was reminiscent to of the warmth that had settled in Kara's stomach from the moonshine. If Kara could she would have wrapped herself up in the warmth of those eyes, much like how she wanted the feeling in her stomach to become all-encompassing.

G'kika, on the other hand, had long blond locks, a white complexion, and horn-like ridges lined their forehead. The ridges were painted a blue color. It was as if they wore a beautiful crown around their head. To top off their elegant appearance was a unique set of ears peeking through their long locks. Their ears were pointed, reminiscent of an elf, but upon further inspection on each side of their head were two ears. The ears on each side of their head were connected as if they were half of a butterfly wing. Ridges lines the outer cartilage of ears and were painted in various blues and purples. G'kika eyes, four in all, were Heterochromia, one set was yellow and the other set was purple. Kara felt like sat next to a model.

Kara's new friends, but mostly Ehtel, taught her about the various alien drinks the bar served. They both wrote down on a napkin some 'musts' for Kara to try. The interaction, though weird, brought her mood up some, but it wasn't long before Ehtel and G'kika decided it was getting late and it was time for the two of them to head back home:

"Kara we have to go," Ehtel sighed, just after a chuckle from a remark G'kika had made. "It's getting late, this idiot and I have work early in the morning." Ehtel pushed a button on a bracelet he wore around his wrist and his face changed. In place of his red velvet skin, a beautiful dark complexion and matched with brazen red hair appeared. His warm eyes turned to a dark brown. The shape of his face suggested that he was in his late twenties or early thirties.

Kara looked beside Ehtel, and G'kika had used their bracelet too. G'kika still had an androgynous appearance. Thier skin was flawless pale complexion, but not as white. The ridges disappeared, their butterfly ears were replaced with boring human ears, and only one pair of eyes was visible on their face. G'kika eyes were now a blue, a color, she assumed, they could pass off as having a Swedish origin. The look possibly being used to make whatever cover story they had more convincing.

Ehtel, in their time together, had taken the barstool to Kara's right side with G'kika residing on her left side. Ehtel dug into his jacket pocket and pulled out square black spectacles, and gently put them on.

"Hey, we match now," Kara exuberantly claimed and jiggled her glasses on her nose. A smile hung at the corner of her lips.

"We do. Mine are made to help hide the luminous warmth of my eyes. They are necessary redundancy because my eyes sometimes flicker through the disguise." Ehtel said and patted her knee as he got up to leave. G'kika was waiting at the exit for their friend to get going.

"Mine help with my disguise too. I'll tell you about it next time I see you," Kara called out to Ehtel.

It wasn't long after her new friend's departure, Kara's stomach got this sinking feeling, and dissatisfaction coiled into her bones.

She was alone.

She was alone. again.

Nothing was there to block things out. Images flashed in Kara's mind, flooded with memories. Her heart sank, and she shook her head trying to dispel the images. She waved the bartender over, ordering a drink from the list her new friends had left for her.

Kara truly felt like she was Atlas and carried the world on her back. She had carried the world on her back, and she had made certain it didn't fall. It didn't break, and alien invaders didn't conquer it.

That night, when she gave Mon-el up, the sacrifice she made felt worth it. The exuberance around her reassured her she made the right choice. The happy couples, M'gann and J'onn, Alex and Maggie, Winn and Lyra, they all assured her she had done the right thing. Her selfless decision was the right course of action. However, right now, the weeks, and months, following that day, it felt like another piece of herself had been ripped from her soul.

She felt like a puzzle piece that didn't fit into the puzzle anymore. A puzzle piece which had been jammed into another piece; the tabs and blanks had been forced together, not meeting smoothly and perfectly. Now, it's as if she had been removed from her forcible interlocking with the other pieces, and had been thrown aside. Thrown aside because she was a puzzle piece meant for a different puzzle. For a different world. A different home—A home that no longer existed.

"You're either part of the family, or you're not!" exclaimed Alex.

"He's my father," Said Alex.

"He's mine too," Kara replied back.

"Then act like it!" Alex roared, her lips drawn up as if in a snarl.

Kara shoved the horrid memory down. Shoved it down far away. The memory made her insides feel cold; made her heartache. She felt even more out of place.

She tried. She had tried—tried to comfort herself, but it was useless. Nothing had worked.

Kara gulped down what was left in her glass from drinking with Ehtel and G'kika. She savored the intoxicating sensation and effect as it slid down her throat.

As for her friends, well, they were nowhere to be found nowadays. Not that Kara wanted to see them. El mayarah was a farce. None of her friends understood. None of them had lost everything in their lives. Lost the love of their life. Lost their culture, their planet, their childhood, their childhood friends, and most of all their whole family.

Anyhow, it didn't matter, James and Winn were busy fighting crime, and Alex and Maggie were planning a wedding. They were busy too, just as Kara had been keeping herself busy. With Alex… Alex, well, after what she had said regarding their disagreement over Jeremiah, the space, recently developing between them this year, had widened into a chasm, especially now after their most recent confrontation.

Alex, during the past year, had slipped away from her. Her sister, the person who made earth feel like home, had slipped away. Soon, Alex would be gone just like everyone else in her life, but if Kara was honest, a part of her wanted Alex to leave her. She was just so tired and wanted everyone to leave. Leave on her terms, and not when she least expected it.

It' s okay, though, if I push Alex away, Kara tried to assure herself. I have cost Alex so much… and, she's happy now. She's getting married.

Kara's heart dropped, and guilt washed over her.

She's getting married without a father to walk her down the aisle. My fault.

The realization dragged her deeper into the dark abyss burgeoning in Kara Zor-El.

As if on cue, the bartender set a glass down in front of her. Kara noted briefly the liquor was blue, before she hurriedly gulped down the intoxicant. As it went down, the liquid burned her throat and Kara's face contorted into a wince. Yet, she found the stinging sensation down her throat enjoyable. In that one gulp, she had consumed everything in the glass. Kara set her empty glass on the counter and promptly requested a refill.

There was this indescribable, ever present, feeling of losing your entire planet, culture, and worst of all your family, hibernating within the Girl of Steel. It was always there inside of her, and people had no clue. They looked at her without seeing. They looked straight past her.

She had often dreamt of traveling to another earth in the multiverse and locating a universe where Krypton still hung in the sky. She daydreamed of being reunited with her family, and that's why she could never fault Barry for creating flash-point. She wasn't sure if she would've made a different decision than what Barry made.

It was an impossible daydream. Impossible because it seemed that this Earth, Earth 38, was the one with the most advanced alien-human communications. The rest, from lack of alien incidences, had none of the capabilities this one had. Even if Krypton still hung in the sky in the multiverse, there was no way to know from earth. Cisco, if he tried to vibe them to a Krypton, was more than likely end up vibing them into the cold vacuum of space, where they would both perish.

Given the chance though, she was certain, she would've created Flash-point too. She would have gone back, altered Krypton's history, and saved her planet from destruction. Then she'd run forward in time to her own specific point in time, and relish in having a home. In having a family. In mentoring Kal-el. Aunt Astra wouldn't have been sentenced to Fort Rozz. Everything would be perfect.

Most of all, it would erase all the jagged spaces within her. Spaces from where Krypton and her family had been ripped from her. It would erase the hole that was inside of her.

Kara, out of habit, reached up to her neck to twiddled the necklace's pendant between her fingers. Only, there was nothing there. The necklace had been a source of comfort for her in the past—an anchor to hold. Something tangible form Krypton… and now she had nothing. There wasn't any necklace to hold her together. To be honest, though, she didn't think anything could hold her together anymore. Right now, she doubted, even the strongest glue in the universe could hold her broken pieces in place.

Her neck felt bare, exposed, without her mother's necklace. It was a feeling she was trying to get used to. Every now and then, she regretted giving her mother's necklace to Mon-el. It was alright though because from her gift Mon-el would not be alone in that vacuum of space. He would have a tangible object to remind him that she was in his heart.

Kara had no one to turn to, but alcohol was there. She understood now. It was something that wouldn't abandon her. It was something that wouldn't discard her—unlike Clark, her parents, and like others had in her life. Alien rum was there for her, even when everything was changing.

Kara called the bartender over and ordered another glass.

Eventually, the bartender cut her off, and she refused to have someone pick her up. (Much to the bartender's annoyance.) She made it back home just fine, not without a bit of accidental destruction on the way, though. When she opened the door to her apartment, she accidentally slammed the front door. The noise echoed throughout the apartment complex.

Thank Rao, my door didn't break.

Kara changed into her pajamas, unknowingly wearing her pants backward, and used the bathroom for a while, then climbed into bed. To Kara's surprise, once she haphazardly crawled into bed, she easily fell asleep. It had been 8 days and 6 hours since the last time she had slept. Her body was slower, because of the sun, in generating dark circles under her eyes. The sun also provided her with energy, and so her energy levels to other people seemed normal. Humans receive energy from food, water, and sleep. For Kryptonians, they had the sun added to that list. To others, there was nothing to suggest that she would go days without sleep. Despite that, Kara knew her sister, Alex, was suspicious even if others were unaware.

This night though, Kara she was able to sleep because of the impact alien alcohol had on her physiology. Kara had read that earth alcohol had similar effect on humans too. It was the first time in a long while that every muscle was relaxed and loose as she laid in bed. It was as if everything had faded out. There was no strain. no tension. No heaviness rested on her. She was just curled up in her duvet.