I don't own glee, Lady Gaga or any things mentioned in this story.
Dear Diary,
Today they had tater tots in the cafeteria! I thought they banned them because Mercedes was smuggling them into school. I took a bag of them and gave them to Lord Tubbington. I don't care what the guy with the heart thingy says, tater tots are for cats.
Today Santana mentioned something about a closet. I wonder if she wants to go shopping. But anyway Artie sang the cutest song to me today. I heard something about Santana wanting me to break up with Artie, but he's so nice and sweet. I wonder why she does. Maybe it has to do with the closet thing.
I decided I was going to do another Spears song. After all I am more talented then she is. I thought of a great routine to I Wanna Go. Maybe I can get Kurt to be a backup dancer. He was so sexy in the single lady's dance. Why does he have to be a dolphin?
There's a new dolphin! Now there are two dolphins! I think the new one uses to much hair gel though. The only person that uses more hair gel… is Mr. Schue. Coach Sylvester said that and as much as I hate her, she's right.
Rachel and Finn are back together again. I knew it would happen after their kiss at Nationals. They are so cute together. The only thing cuter is Artie and I. We totally win any cuteness competition. Well, if Lord Tubbington and I entered, we'd probably lose. But it's a cat and me. Nothing can beat that, nothing.
I wonder what happened to Sam. He just left in the middle of the summer. Did Mercedes break up with him? Or at least I think they're dating… You know what, I don't really know. It's all too confusing. Maybe he really was a dolphin? All I know is that we only have two dolphins. We need another one.
Fondue For Two just hit two thousand views on YouTube! I knew people would watch it. After all, I have Lord Tubbington. How would I not get two thousand views? I'm just that awesome.
After a lot of researching, I found out Santana is a unicorn. And Unicorns are just gay horses, in case you didn't know. Guys are dolphins, girls are unicorns. I'm a horse! Neiighhh!
Right now I feel like singing Super Bass. Maybe we can do it in glee. I hope I get the solo for it, and I'm awesome at rapping. I'm like Brittney Spears, Nicki Minjai, and Lady Gaga combined. I even have an awesome catchphrase- its Brittany bitch!
I can't believe Jew Fro is working on a time travel machine too! He creeps me out but maybe he can help me with mine, or maybe I should get Santana to help. She's really smart, and she taught me how to spell my name! She's so awesome. She's like my best friend in the whole world.
So far, the school year has been pretty typical, nothing new. Well except for the tater tots. But anyway, I'll write again soon.
Love,
Brittany S. Pierce
