Details: I haven't really seen much of this show, in fact I have only seen the Season Three finale plus about three episodes. So forgive me if my information is a little off.

Summary: A fever ridden Jane and a pissed off Lisbon? What could possibly go wrong?

Disclaimer: Nope, not mine.

{}THE MENTALIST{}

A hushed silence fell over the SVU like a refreshing breath of air. Lisbon hadn't been able to go a full five minutes without Jane commenting on something, be it regarding the case or the pony they just passed on their way back to Headquarters.

Jane was now laying his forehead against the cool window with his eyes shut tight. To anyone else, he appeared to be sleeping, but Lisbon knew him far too well.

"Lisbonn, I don't feel so good." Jane moaned, sounding childish as he dragged out the final letter in her surname.

"If you throw up in this car, so help me God, I will make you walk back to Headquarters." Lisbon threatened.

"No, no not sick like that, it's just, my head hurts so bad." Jane whimpered, putting his head in his hands. His face had broken out in a sheen layer of sweat, and his face was as pale as a ghost. He looked genuinely ill. Worry flooded Lisbon.

She saw an exit for a gas station, and immediately pulled over. She parked the car, and hopped out of the vehicle, walking briskly to the passenger seat.

Once she opened the door, Jane nearly fell out of the car, instead hitting Lisbon directly in the chest. She groaned, yet managed to catch him, sitting him upright in her arms. His body was literally smoking hot. She helped him to the back seat of the car, and laid him down.

"Jesus Jane, you're hot!" She exclaimed, as she began unbuttoning his shirt.

He giggled like a teenager about to get laid, his body shivering under her fingers tips. Lisbon felt a blush appearing on her cheeks, giving Jane a harsh look. She would have smacked him, yet he was sick and it would be wrong.

She laid the back of her hand to his forehead. He was definitely running a temperature.

"Jane, I am going into the store to see if they carry thermometers and get you some Ginger Ale. If you feel like you're going to be sick, out the window, okay?"

"And my question to you would be, why is half of your face purple?" Jane said, reaching out to touch her. She swatted his hand away and scowled.

"Just stay here."

"Watch out for the flying cows, they like to pass at this time of day." Jane said, picking his head up barely and pointing to a silver car.

She almost laughed, pulling her cellphone out of the back of her pocket.

"Boss, where are you?" The tallest member of her team answered. Lisbon cursed, realizing that they were running behind schedule.

"At a gas station. Listen, Jane wasn't feeling well so I had to stop in case he puked in my car."

"Jane? What's wrong with him?" Rigsby asked, sounding confused.

"He's lying shirtless in the back of my car right now." Lisbon began, but was interrupted by another member of her team.

"Yes! You boys owe me fifty bucks." Grace cried happily. Cho groaned in the background.

"VanPelt, what was that?" She asked sharply. The laughter died down.

"Nothing boss." Grace replied sheepishly, the sound of slapping came on the line followed by a "you didn't tell me it was on speaker."

Lisbon smiled to herself, "Looks like he's got a pretty high fever, but I'm going to take his temperature and get back to you. Call in a bit." She shut her phone, and pulled out her wallet to pay for the case of ginger ale, the thermometer, a cold pack and some anti-nausea medication. One could never be too careful.

She returned to the car, deciding that the medicine had been a good investment, because there was a puddle of vomit near the car.

"Oh Jane. At least you made it outside." Lisbon sighed, yanking open the car door.

Jane was curled up, holding his stomach. He had completely ditched his entire top half of his suit, and his muscled chest was covered in a thin layer of sweat. Yet despite being sweaty, shudders wracked Jane's body.

"I'm hot, yet I am freezing." Jane managed to get out, his teeth chattering. Suddenly he was still, his blue eyes filled with fear. "Am I dying?"

"God no Jane! You're just sick like a normal person." She handed him the anti-nausea medicine, and a can of Ginger Ale. "Swallow this, and drink that. Fluids are your best friend right now." She climbed in, and sat on the console in between the two seats. She reached into her bag and pulled out a thermometer. She opened the box, and handed it to Jane.

"Put this under your tongue." She pressed the button. Jane's eyes lit up at the sound of the beeping.

"Am I really sick? I've never been sick before, Lisbon. Does it hurt?" He asked, sounding hilarious with the thermometer under his tongue. His words came out like mush. She shushed him, and watch the black numbers climb higher on the tiny device.

It finally beeped, the grand total being 103.4

"Jesus Jane." She whispered. Turning the thing off and putting it back into the box.

"Why is the world so swirly?" Jane asked, clutching his head. His eyes moved around the car quickly, never focusing on something for more than a second. They finally settled on Lisbon. "You look like a swirly mess." He said, giggling like a child. "Pretty swirly girl."

"You are seriously going to regret this." She said in reply, making her way out of the car.

His sweaty hand reached out to her, grasping it. "Don't go, the fish will eat you alive out there. I can hear them, and they sound hungry." Jane said, his voice completely serious.

She gingerly let go of his hand as she got out of the car, careful to avoid the disgusting puddle of regurgitated food. She reached back and handed him the ice pack, and the plastic bag.

"Put this on your head, it will make you feel better." She held out the bag, "And this is in case you puke again." noticing his slightly green complexion.

He nodded his head, wincing in pain at the moment. Lisbon looked at him with concern. She reached in and patted his leg awkwardly.

"You are going to be fine." She whispered.

She pulled out her phone, and dialed Rigsby to give the team an update.

"Little bastard deserves it. He drank my coke yesterday." There was a pause as a realization fell on him. "Damn it, I drank after him. Ah crap." Rigsby said, and Lisbon could almost see him smacking his forehead.

"I'm headed back now, see you later." Lisbon said, silently laughing.

She hung up the phone and got into the passenger seat.

{}THE MENTALIST{}

Half an hour later, Jane was asleep on the seat. He had provided Lisbon with a selection of whatever song came on the radio, including multiple works by Katy Perry.

About ten minutes into the ride, Jane sat up and proclaimed, "I want tea."

"We can get you tea when we get back to the CBI." Lisbon said, exasperatedly.

"Okay." He sighed, laying back down.

He hadn't thrown the pill up yet, for which Lisbon was thankful. Hopefully he could make it the final few moments to their offices.

The sound of gagging in the back of the car meant that her luck just ran out. She groaned internally.

He wiped his mouth and flopped back down, sighing and clutching his stomach once again. His face was contorted in pain, the sight made Lisbon even more worried.

"Jane, I'm so sorry. We are almost there I promise." She said concernedly.

"It will all be okay, as long as we follow the yellow brick road."He said, sighing contentedly, his eyes fluttering close.

"Jane that doesn't even make sense." She allowed herself to laughed at that one.

She let out a breath of relief as she pulled into the parking lot of the CBI wondering what the hell to do with him now.

{}THE MENTALIST{}

In the next chapter, the team interacts with a sick Jane. Poor guy, being sick sucks.

So how did you like it? Drop me a review and I promise to continue :)