(a/n – the UK is having an election and I needed badass politicians. This happened. Enjoy.)

No Debates Needed

"And today is a day to celebrate democracy, and to be thankful for the diversity which make Britain great. I look forward to leading you as a nation alongside my core team. Thank you for electing us as your government." Henrik Hanssen stepped away from the microphone to the deafening sound of clapping and cheering from loyal supporters. It wasn't quite a landslide victory, but his party had achieved a good majority in parliament over the previous governing party. Henrik Hanssen, originally from Sweden, was Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. It was possibly the greatest day of his life. The press had a field day.

HANSSEN IS HERE!

HENRIK HANSSEN BECOMES NEW PM

SWEDE VICTORY FOR HANSSEN IN GENERAL ELECTION

THE RIGHT IKEA: BRITAIN ELECTS HANSSEN AS PM

ELECTION VICTORY SIGNALS CHANGE FOR UK

Serena Campbell was thrilled. The campaigning, the debates, the meetings. They'd all paid off. Henrik Hanssen was a worthy leader, and she felt no resentment towards him, despite the fact she had lost out to him in the party leadership elections a few years back. No, Serena and Henrik had become firm friends, and Serena was certain that she was going to get the government post of Chancellor, given she'd been shadow chancellor for years. She was not wrong. A member of the party since she was 18, she had finally worked her way to the top of her political tree. It was time for the UK to see what a fair budget under Serena Campbell looked like. Most of Hanssen's other appointments didn't surprise Serena in the slightest. Jac Naylor as health secretary. Ric Griffin as foreign secretary. Sacha Levy as transport secretary. They were all easy. But Henrik Hanssen did have a couple of shakeups in his cabinet, ones which Serena had not been made aware of. The first was Morven Digby as Secretary of State for Education. Morven was the youngest cabinet member by far, and Serena thought it was a bold move to appoint her, though she had every faith in the girl. Serena had, in fact, mentioned to Hanssen that she thought Morven would be an excellent education minister. She was pleasantly surprised to see he had listened.

The biggest shakeup of all, however, was one which Serena had absolutely not anticipated. One which in all of her years in politics Serena could not have predicted. No. For the next most senior position in his cabinet after himself and Serena, Hanssen had picked someone who had only been a party member for two years at most. Henrik Hanssen announced Major Berenice Wolfe as the Home Secretary. The press had a field day.

NO FLAT PACK CABINET FOR PM HANSSEN

EX ARMY MEDIC TO BE HOME SECRETARY

MORVEN DIGBY TO OVERHAUL EDUCATION

CUTS UNDER CAMPBELL? BUDGET PREDICTIONS

WOLFE TO PROTECT BRITAIN

Serena settled into her new office with relish, starting about rectifying the mistakes she believed the last government had made. The mistakes the public wanted her to rectify. Halfway through the morning, there was a sharp knock at her door. Calling for whoever it was to enter, Serena was thoroughly surprised to see the new Home Secretary clutching two cups of tea.

"Figured you could do with some, I certainly could." Bernie Wolfe placed the cup down on Serena's desk then perched herself delicately on the end of it, careful to avoid the many papers strewn across it. Serena took the cup and sipped gratefully.

"Thanks. So, how's such a high position treating you?"

To Serena's great surprise, she and Bernie became firm friends, and often had a tea or coffee break together twice a day when their schedules allowed. Serena realised her initial assumptions had been wrong. Bernie had joined as soon as she had been medically retired from service, and had most of the security services eating out of the palm of her hand. Much like Serena felt comfortable surrounded by business and figures, Bernie felt comfortable talking security and protection. Their interests were wide ranging and similar in so many ways. In fact, Serena believed that her new position was made all the better by just how closely she was working with Bernie Wolfe at times.

Talk of the two of them spread to the press. Someone in a tabloid had got wind of Serena's disregard for how short a time Bernie had been in the party, so stories from the opposition supporting newspapers frequently slandered the two of them.

CHANCELLOR WANTS TO KEEP WOLFE FROM DOOR

CAMPBELL VS WOLFE

FIGHTING TALK FROM HOME SEC AGAINST CHANCELLOR

SERENE? NO!

CRACKS SHOW IN HANSSEN'S CABINET

Bernie laughed off every single one, and Serena joined her. Often they would sit on their break with the latest newspaper between them, happily insulting their opposition and congratulating some of the better headlines. One of the stories detailed how Serena had tried to cause a scene with Bernie in the Houses of Parliament. Serena laughed.

"As if I would!" Bernie smirked at her.

"No, I rather imagine it would be me taking you, certainly." The air crackled, and Serena lowered her voice.

"Oh for sure, you'd have me on the carpet, wouldn't you Major?" Bernie's eyes darkened and they leaned towards one another, only to be interrupted by Serena's phone ringing with an important call from the Prime Minister himself.

They'd briefly discussed their sexual and romantic preferences. Not explicitly, but they'd both agreed that one of the politics reporters for a national news channel was incredibly pretty, and Serena had also rolled her eyes and scoffed at an article in one of the newspapers which totally disregarded bisexuals. Neither of them had publicly declared their sexual orientation, and Serena didn't feel the need to. She had been elected on her political prowess, not who she liked to take to bed.

That wasn't to say that Serena didn't find herself becoming increasingly drawn to Bernie's wardrobe choices. The woman was trying to kill her and half of the British nation, Serena was sure of it. She'd need to speak to Jac Naylor about NHS funding if Major Berenice Wolfe continued to wear such fitted suits to her public appearances. Because she looked delicious. One particular visit to New Scotland Yard in London by Bernie had been splashed all over the press. Serena hated herself for having kept the copies of the newspaper at home, purely because of how good the cut of suit looked on the Home Secretary.

They continued to share heated moments in offices when they were not busy elsewhere, and Serena avoided Bernie as much as possible at public events. The press added this to their fuel for their stories of them being political nemeses. Serena meanwhile was trying to quell the urges she was increasingly getting to ask Bernie to ravish her upon the oak top desk she signed off official documents on.

The issue was addressed once and for all about a year into their parliamentary reign. It was time for the major party conference of the year and Serena Campbell, Chancellor of the Exchequer, sent a memo round to everyone in the party.

Dear all. As we are a party who prides themselves on using taxpayers' money to fund public services such as the National Health Service, any hotel rooms stayed in at the cost of the party this year will be shared. Attached is a list of the rooms booked for Cabinet individuals. Yours, S Campbell.

She'd had the sign off from Henrik Hanssen that the idea was a good one, and so was hoping that there would be few complaints. Almost twenty minutes after the missive was sent, there was a knock upon her office door. Calling entry, Serena smiled at the sight of Major Berenice Wolfe in a very delicious looking suit, somehow laid back but commanding all at once. She raised an eyebrow at the lack of hot beverages in the Home Secretary's hands.

"I got your email."

"Congratulations on having the ability to read, Major Wolfe. A useful skill for a politician to have."

"You've put me in a room with you." Serena smirked. No ulterior motives behind that plan whatsoever.

"Yes. Is that a problem? Somebody else you'd rather bunk down with?"

"Not at all. Quite the opposite. I actually came to ask if there was anything you'd like me to bring for our sleepover. Hair accessories, nail polish, some toys?"

"Excuse me?!" Serena nearly choked on her own tongue. Bernie's eyes glittered.

"I meant Monopoly or another evening game. Honestly Ms Campbell, if only the people knew what you're really like." She sauntered back over to the door. "Oh, for the record. I wouldn't be averse to those toys either, you need only ask." Bernie winked as she closed the door behind her and Serena did nothing productive for the next hour that followed.

At the conference, Serena made sure that her address was one of the highlights. She'd prepped her speech well in advance, and had taken extra care to fluff her hair and press her suit so it was as sharp as possible. Stood at the podium addressing her party (and the rest of the country through the news), Serena outlined just what her budget had achieved and just what was going to be achieved. The enormous applause at the end who thoroughly deserved, in her opinion.

Bernie's address was also phenomenal. She really was good at public speaking. Serena felt truly guilty that she'd ever had such a problem with her. Bernie Wolfe was confident, assured and also completely sexy when she became passionate about policies which Serena also knew she agreed with. Feeling a throb of desire pulse through her, Serena bit her lip and looked straight at the party logo on the wall rather than the woman giving the address. It was a photo of this the press picked up on.

COLD SHOULDER FROM CAMPBELL

CONFERENCE HIGHLIGHTS DISARRAY IN CABINET

BUDGET IS STRONG, RELATIONS ARE WEAK

JUST WHAT DOES CAMPBELL FIND WRONG WITH WOLFE?

HANSSEN REMAINS STRONG AT PARTY CONFERENCE

It was in the evening that things got interesting. Serena had got to the room first and was bending down to find something in her case when she heard the door click open behind her then slam shut. She turned round just in time to be pushed down onto the closest single bed in the twin room. Bernie gazed down at her hungrily, and Serena's pulse quickened.

"Do you know how utterly difficult it has been today with you in that pencil skirt, Serena?" As she spoke Bernie ran her hands up Serena's legs, bunching the garment around her thighs. Serena hummed lowly and looked up at Bernie through hooded eyes.

"Why don't you get me out of it then Major Wolfe?"

The following moments were a furious mixture of lips crashing together while hands tore at clothes and teeth nipped at skin. Serena moaned loudly as Bernie pressed their bodies together, and then whimpered as she stopped.

"You have to be quiet, we're in a budget hotel in a twin room with colleagues next door." Bernie whispered into Serena's skin. Writhing impatiently, Serena could only bite down on Bernie's sinewy shoulder as the home secretary made her forget there was anything else in the world.

The morning after they woke up to joint alarms, and both reached out blindly to switch them off, arms battling on the way from where they were curled up tightly in the single bed. Alarms silenced, Serena felt Bernie smile into her skin.

"I have to say, your budgeting plans are top notch, Chancellor." Serena stretched languidly.

"You're pretty thorough yourself, Home Secretary." Bernie leaned up off her, and Serena gasped then kissed the deep purple marks smattered across the other woman's shoulders and chest. "I really hope you're not planning on wearing open necked shirts for anytime soon."

It was fair to say that Serena was rather happy about the turn of events that followed. Bernie still came to her in her office when they were both around, but now there was added kissing against the door and the desk to fuel her through the day. She also found herself sending Bernie messages when Bernie was abroad away from London, and she received some too when she was away. With Bernie Wolfe, Serena was truly content. Finally she had found herself an equal who believed in the policies she did without undermining her at any opportunity like some previous colleagues had.

Serena was pretty sure Henrik had figured out that she was now more than just friendly colleagues with the Home Secretary, but he said nothing and just congratulated her on her budgeting policies.

Bernie was round at Serena's for the evening. It had been difficult but they were pretty sure that nobody had seen Bernie slipping in the back door at 11pm. Serena's head was in the Home Secretary's lap as they talked about their days.

"Great interview, Berenice. You really hit home those new anti-terrorism policies." Serena was referring to the news interview which Bernie had done that evening.

"Why thank you. Was it enough to make you want to put a cross in my box?" Serena snorted.

"Oh absolutely. In fact, I'd go as far as saying you really put me in a spin. How are you going to carry out your policies?"

"Well with a bit of a lift," Bernie stood with Serena cradled in her arms, "I'm pretty sure I can make them come to fruition." She carried Serena up the stairs to the bedroom.

Serena Campbell was happy. But she was also tired. Sometimes she wondered if it would be easier to have the world know she was in a relationship with Bernie so that they could stop creeping around just to play down the chemistry between them. But at the same time Serena knew just how vicious the tabloids could be, and she hated the thought of what they might say even though Britain was meant to be so much more accepting now. She was right to be cautious. A tabloid got hold of a freedom of information diversity report on Henrik Hanssen's government, and some of the headlines were harsher than they deserved to be, Serena thought.

THE UK GAYVERNMENT

UK HAS ONE OF WORLD'S MOST DIVERSE GOVERNMENTS

WHICH CABINET MEMBERS ARE IN THE CLOSET?

IS THE GAY AGENDA HANSSEN'S MANIFESTO?

UK HAS CABINET WHICH REPRESENTS ITS PEOPLE

While many applauded the fact that the Henrik Hanssen had such a representative and diverse staff, many political articles after the report questioned just which key politicians were LGBT+ but had not openly said so. Serena was mostly annoyed. She didn't feel like she should declare her preferences to anybody, but at the same time she did want the world to know that she had Major Berenice Griselda Wolfe all to herself.

One evening Serena was reading an online article which her daughter (who knew about Bernie but respected that her mother wished to keep the information private) had sent her. It was a ranking of the top UK politicians based on popularity and personality and also how likely it was that they were one of the ones included in the report. Serena smirked when she saw herself listed third on the rankings. Second was Morven Digby, and Serena was not surprised at that. The young woman had proved herself to be popular amongst students and teachers alike. Number one was Bernie. Serena smiled when she read just how much people loved the Home Secretary, and realised that she wasn't jealous as she might previously have been. The article contained a link to a twitter page and Serena gasped.

It turned out that Bernie Wolfe was something of an internet sensation. The page was filled with pictures of Bernie in interviews and on the campaign trial, but with flower crowns and little heart badges adoring the images. People shared their thoughts on her using the hashtag #HowlmSecretary, and Serena found some of them a little bit indecent and others a lot factually incorrect (no MarryMeHowlmSec Bernie Wolfe is NOT like that in bed, actually). There was speculation as to if Bernie was romantically attached, and just what the chances were of those tweeting of getting a shot at romance with Bernie (none, Serena thought possessively).

Bernie sneaked into Serena's during the early hours of the morning after an exhaustive day of security reviews. She spooned up behind Serena in bed, and the Chancellor turned to sleepily kiss her. Bernie snuggled herself closer into her partner, and just as she was dropping off Serena addressed her.

"Bernie?"

"Mmmm?"

"Do you love me?"
"I love you more than I loved our party's last manifesto, Serena."

"Good. Thought so. Night."

They decided they would announce to the world that they were in a relationship. It had been nearly a year and a half of shared hotels and stolen kisses. Serena was sure that the people still liked her as a result of her careful spending, and there was no problem with them ever not loving Bernie. When Serena had told her of the twitter accounts and edited images, Bernie had laughed for ten minutes and proceeded to milk future interviews just for the amusement. The way Bernie had insisted she meet with Hanssen's Swedish visitors was one of the highlights of Serena's political career. That, and she looked absolutely adorable with a genuine flower crown upon her blonde curls. Serena smiled in smug satisfaction that the woman was all hers.

Pride month rolled around, and the two of them decided that it was the perfect time to announce their relationship to the world. As the London celebrations were outside the Houses of Parliament, Serena Campbell, Chancellor of the Exchequer, and Major Berenice Wolfe, Home Secretary, shared a passionate kiss for the world to see. Unsurprisingly, the press had a field day. Serena found she didn't mind a photo of she and Bernie being splashed over the front pages in the slightest.

HOME SEC HOLDS THE KEYS TO CHANCELLOR'S RED BOX

HOME SEC SECRETLY SERVICING CHANCELLOR

UK HAS PARLIAMENTARY POWER COUPLE

CAMPBELL AND WOLFE HAVE ONE ANOTHER'S VOTE

MAJOR SCORE FOR THE BUDGET

Serena had always said that good things would happen to her because of politics. Lots of things had. But Bernie Wolfe was by far the best.

-The End-

(a/n – can we appreciate that this is a super simple view of the British political system but shhh leave me alone. Also if you are in the UK and can vote then PLEASE GO AND DO IT. The country has a chance to vote for a future that will actually help us and now screw us over.)