Syed looked up from the laptop and smiled as Christian limped into the flat.
"Hello you, is it still hurting?"
Christian dumped down his bag and keys and made his way gingerly over to the dining table, leaning down to rub Syed's hair and return the proffered kiss.
"A little bit, just a twinge. I think it was the stairs. Coffee?"
He hobbled into the kitchen and filled the kettle. Over the noise from the running tap, Syed called;
"You should take more care of yourself, you poor old soul."
Christian took two mugs from the cupboard and stood in the doorway, leaning against the wall.
"If I remember rightly, it was because of a certain person begging very loudly in my ear that I got in this state."
Syed laughed.
"Oops. You could have stopped."
The kettle clicked off and Christian spooned out coffee and poured the water in.
"Actually no, I couldn't. Anyway, I never like to disappoint."
Syed gratefully took the drink from him.
"And you never do."
Christian settled on the sofa and kicked off his shoes. He picked up the television listings magazine and flicked through it idly.
"Are you on that forum again Syed? You do know that they're not real."
"I wish they were, they're delicious. No, I've just got a really interesting email."
Christian glanced over in Syed's direction.
"Is it from a prince who needs your bank account details to deposit his fortune in?"
" Funnily enough, there are a couple of those, but no. Those poor princes, all that money and no one will take it off their hands. It's not one offering cut price Viagra either."
Christian winced and rubbed the top of his thigh.
"I don't think we need any. What's the opposite of Viagra?"
Syed thought for a moment, still intently studying the computer screen, his face lit from the glow.
"Mo Harris? Ian butt naked? A certain pair of trousers that you own?"
Christian threw the magazine at Syed who fielded it expertly and lobbed it back.
Standing up with difficulty, Christian went and joined Syed at the table, draping himself behind him, resting his chin on Syed's head.
"Just for that, I'm going to wear them everyday. Might get a bit of peace. What is it then?"
Syed pointed at the screen.
"It's from someone I knew at Uni."
"Knew in what sense?" Christian snapped huffily.
"Not that way dear. I worked with him for a bit when we left. He's just started up a new venture and there might be an opening for me."
"That he wants you to fill?" Christian started to smirk and Syed prodded him in the ribs with his elbow.
"You are so bloody smutty. It's like living in a Carry On film."
"Carry on Camping" Christian attempted a reasonable impersonation of Sid James' laugh, but started coughing half way through, grimaced and rubbed his groin.
"Ow. You're going to have to kiss this better later. Go on, what does he say?"
Syed carefully read through the message again.
"It's in the finance side for a fledgling charity, and don't say does it look after baby birds, or I may scream. Plenty of scope for travel, following up on contacts around the world, it looks really brilliant Christian! Right up my street. And just look at the starting salary!"
He twisted the laptop slightly.
"Blimey! Miami Beach here we come! Oh that's excellent Sy, You'll be so good at it, you really deserve the chance."
Christian kissed Syed's ear and made his way into the bathroom.
"Is it in the city? You'll need a new suit, best if I choose it for you. And come to the fittings, I don't want people taking advantage of your inside leg. I can make you sandwiches and put them in your briefcase with love messages. Although you'll probably be all Pret a Manger and business lunches…. Sy?"
Realising he'd had no response he stuck his head back round the door.
Syed looked up sadly.
"It's in Islamabad."
They lay wrapped in each others arms, their breathing slowly returning to normal, both lost in their own thoughts.
Christian had sensed a sadness beneath their love making that he had never expected to experience again, hearing in his mind a faint snapping sound as, one by one, the gossamer threads that bound them together were torn apart.
Syed had felt Christian's barriers going up, a slight absence, a subtle retreat, withdrawing in an attempt to protect himself from pain.
"I'll turn it down." Syed's voice sounded loud in the silence.
Christian moved slightly, turning his head to stare at the ceiling.
"Don't be daft. Travelling around the world, all the places you'll see. It's the opportunity of a lifetime. You'd regret it."
"I wouldn't."
Syed buried his face further under the curve of Christian's jaw, closing his eyes tightly, feeling a muscle in Christian's cheek twitch.
"When do you have to go?"
"He wants me over there next week, meet the rest of the board, finalize stuff, start initiatives."
Christian strained to hear his muffled words.
"Initiatives eh? Not sure we have those in Walford. And the contract's for six months?"
Syed sat up from under Christian's arms, propped himself disconsolately against the pillows, and picked nervously at the corner of a fingernail.
"To start with. If it goes well, it would be permanent. With a pension!"
Christian whistled slowly under his breath.
"Imagine! I don't suppose I could come with you."
He already knew the answer, but waited patiently for Syed to reply.
After a pause that seemed to last an eternity, Syed answered;
"I'm not sure how I'd explain you away. In fact, I don't want you to be explained away. Make you hide, pretend, put you in that place again. This is ridiculous, I won't go." Syed started to cry and Christian pulled him back under the covers, enveloping him with strong arms, trying to hide his own grief.
"Shh. You have to, when will you ever get another opportunity like this? I can visit, you'll get holidays. Two weeks on a tropical beach, it'll be heaven. Think of how we'll make up for lost time!"
He stroked Syed's tear damp hair away from his face.
"It'll be O.K."
"But I don't want a party." Syed eyed the pile of balloons at Christian's feet disapprovingly.
Christian stopped mid breath and stretched the end of the one he was holding.
"Of course you don't, you big misery guts. But I do. Anyway, It isn't a party really. Just a quiet corner of the R & R, all of your favourite people, and Roxy. Fine vintage orange juice with bits in and a pink cake."
He let go of the balloon in his hand, giggling childishly as it farted around the flat and landed wetly on top of the television. "And balloons."
Syed picked it off and pinged it back at him.
"This cake isn't going to have anyone naked jumping out of it is it?"
"Is that a request? I could ask Phil."
Syed unzipped the side of his case and checked for the thousandth time that he had his passport.
"If you could. Seriously though Christian, I'm going to have to leave here at five in the morning to catch the flight."
Christian had rubbed a balloon against his jeans and was watching the static make the hairs on his arm stand on end.
"I haven't forgotten. It'll be fun. Tamwar's coming. Has he told your parents yet?"
"He tried, but Mum changed the subject and started talking about how clever Kamil is and Dad just pretended he was reading the newspaper, intently studying page three. You will look after him for me won't you?"
"Who, your Dad or Tam? Course I will. They should be proud of you, getting away from my evil homosexual influence."
Syed unplugged his ipod from the charger and wrapped the headphone cord neatly around it, stowing it away in the front pocket of his bag.
"Are you sure you won't come to the airport with me?"
Christian batted the balloon into the air, avoiding meeting his eyes.
"Nope, can't, got a client at seven."
Syed dropped the piece of pink icing back onto the paper plate and grimaced as he took a sip of orange juice, the sweetness and acidity making his teeth feel furry.
He could see Christian on the small dance floor, arms in the air, Roxy gyrating in front of him. Dancing wildly, and he hoped, ironically, to Bad Boys. They had both reached the cackling stage and Syed hoped she wouldn't invite herself back and throw up on something.
'Christian will have to clear it up' he remembered with a pang. 'I won't be there.'
Jane broke into his reverie with a cheery;
"So Syeeed. Will you be visiting at all? Christian will miss you. He already seems to be slipping back into his old ways."
She gestured over to where Christian and Roxy were pointing at a fellow dancer's behind and leering.
"I'll be back when I can, probably not for a couple of months though. Will you excuse me Jane? It's a bit hot in here, I'm just going to get some air."
He stopped half way up the stairs of the club and looked behind him. Christian had tied a balloon in Roxy's hair and was laughing uproariously, head thrown back, seemingly carefree. And Syed wondered if the laughter had reached his eyes, or if they were still full of the misery he seemed desperate to hide.
In the grey dawn of the autumn morning, Syed attempted to memorise every pore of Christian's prone body. He had barged in noisily at three and fallen into a drunken stupor almost immediately, leaving Syed to undress him and heave him onto the bed. He was sleeping sweetly now, a slight frown line between his eyes, his hands gripped loosely on the edge of the sheet, pushed back to uncover his beautiful chest.
Syed choked back a sob and picked up his case, trying to leave silently, not looking back as Christian called out his name from a dream.
The wheels of his case rattled over the kerb and he handed it to the minicab driver, taking a look around the square. The market traders where setting up their stalls in the thin September sunlight. Billy emerged from the café, clutching a polystyrene cup of tea and a bacon roll, and waved across.
Closing down his heart once more, a trick he had hoped he was done with forever, Syed slipped into the back seat of the car.
Christian knew that Syed had gone as soon as he awoke. The atmosphere in the flat had changed, deadened. As if all the air had been sucked out and been replaced with lead. He groped around on the shelf beside his head for his watch and his hand brushed against the chart that Syed had made for them both on the computer, a list of days to cross off until they might see each other once more. He peered at it blearily, trying to focus his eyes and saw, written across the top in red marker pen, the words 'I love you.'
Syed opened his wallet to find the money to pay the cab fare. As he pulled out a note he saw the corner of a photograph. He studied it, aware of the driver waiting patiently by the boot of the car, ready to hand over his case.
They had taken it in a photo booth, when Christian had been trying to get a new passport picture that didn't make him look like a hit man. Syed stared straight into the lens, face lit with joy, while Christian's profile beamed down at him, cheeks creased with laughter lines. Syed turned the small photo over, scrawled across the back in Christian's handwriting it read;
'Me and my boyfriend.'
"Hold your horses, I'm coming." The door bell buzzed insistently and Christian pulled open the front door, lifting off his sunglasses. Syed stood shyly in the sunshine, dark hair curling over the collar of his checked shirt.
"Headache?"
Christian blinked.
"Bit of a one."
Syed looked at his bare chest.
"You could have put a top on."
"Sorry, sorry, heavy night. Here, let me take your case."
He banged it up the stairs awkwardly and stood aside to let Syed into the flat.
"Did you have a good time?"
Christian dropped the bag down and opened the venetian blinds, filling the room with light.
"It's been great."
Syed took in the neatly made bed, the polished surfaces.
"You've done tidying."
"Yes."
"Ironing?"
Christian smiled.
"Nothing extreme. Did you miss me?"
Syed nodded.
"It was agony."
"Me too. Did you bring me back a present?"
"Uh huh."
Syed pulled an air ticket from his back pocket and tore it into pieces, sprinkling it like confetti onto the floor, watching Christian's eyes fill with tears of happiness.
"Are you sure Sy? What about the world?"
Syed took Christians hand and curled his fingers gently around it.
"My world is standing in front of me. Haven't you got a client at seven?"
