Disclaimer: I don't own Glee, but if I did, I'd listen to my fans.


Chapter 1


"Oh, I don't know," Rachel and Kurt were in the diva's room. They had decided it had been far too long since they had last talked in person outside of Glee, so they organized a "girls' day out." Finn had dumped Rachel the week before and Kurt had been surprised at how fast Rachel had gotten over his stepbrother. Kurt had a sneaking suspicion that the diva had her eye on someone else, so he casually asked her about a perfect other half. "I suppose the person would be taller than me, but not too tall. I felt like a dwarf with Finn. Plus the height difference made kissing awkward."

Kurt covered his ears, not wanting to hear any of the details about his best friend and stepbrother's relationship. "I get it! I get it! Not too tall. I didn't want the dirty details."

Rachel simply rolled her eyes. "I am very much over him, for your information. Now do you want to hear about my perfect romantic companion or not?" Kurt rolled his eyes, but let her continue. "The person would have to keep up with me intellectually and they would have to have some interest in music. I would most certainly prefer someone who participated in an athletic activity of some sort." Rachel paused, this time to think, and when she started to speak again, she closed her eyes. Kurt smirked; she was obviously picturing someone in her mind. "I want someone who can deal with someone as admittedly high maintenance as me. If I were to meet them here, they would have to have the same drive to get out of Lima as I do. That's everything, I think."

Kurt went over the list in his mind and he only knew of one person who fit those requirements perfectly. He quickly began to form a plan in his mind.

"Kurt? Why do I feel like you are planning something?"

"Because I am, Obviously."

Kurt got up, checked his Marc Jacobs watch and crossed the room to get his coat. "Sorry Rachel, but I've got to go. Something came up and it's important."


Chapter 2


"Santana? Yeah, it's Kurt. No, I don't need Azimio's ass kicked." Kurt pulled up at the latina's house. "Look, I'm at your house now and it's important. No, I don't care if you and Brittany were 'hanging out.' Open the damn door, Santana!" The door flew open and Kurt squeaked as he was dragged inside.

"This better be really good, Lady Hummel," Santana growled as she shoved the boy up the stairs.

When Kurt was finally released from latina's iron grasp, he brushed himself off and looked around the room. Judging from the cheerleading and Glee Club photos, he guessed that he was in Santana's room. He was impressed with the interior decorating.

"Look, if you wanted a tour, you could have waited. What's wrong, porcelain? Somebody die?" Santana looked less than impressed as she tapped her foot impatiently.

"Is Quinn straight?" Kurt blurted.

"What the hell kind of question is that? You wanted to ask about the sexuality of Q? Shouldn't you know, anyways? Someone as flamingly gay as you are should be able to pick up on stuff like that."

"Since you indirectly told me that Quinn is not straight, I will proceed to the reason I'm here. Rachel Berry."

"You're here about Yentl? What does that even have to do with Q's sexuali-oh. I get it. Gayberry's got a big gay crush on Q." Santana glanced at Kurt, expecting him to contradict her.

"I'm just guessing." Kurt admitted. "I asked her to describe her perfect other half and she described Quinn."

Santana smirked. "Way to go Berry. Get a crush on the third hottest girl in school, after Britt and me, of course." Santana picked up a nail file and started filing her nails, occasionally glancing up.

After about a minute, Kurt spoke. "I have a plan, but I need your help."


Chapter 3


"Where are we, Kurt? Can I take the blindfold off yet?" Rachel stumbled blindly as Kurt led her through the trees to the clearing that he had taken Blaine to on their six-month anniversary. "Kurt? Are you going to kill me?"

"My God, Rachel, are you insane? We can't win nationals without you. I'm going to kill you after we win, but don't worry, we'll bury you in New York."

"I hope you're joking."

"I am, Rachel."

They continued walking for another few minutes.

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"San?"

"Yeah, Q?"

"Where are we?"

"Almost there."

"That's what you said ten minutes ago."

"I didn't realize that it was this far."

"What was this far? And is the blindfold really necessary?"

"Nice try and yes, it was necessary."

"Are you gonna kill me?"

"What? No! What the hell gave you that idea?"

"I wouldn't put it past you."

"Touché"

"San?"

"Yeah, Q?"

"Are we there yet?"

"No."


Chapter 4


As Rachel and Kurt approached the clearing, he started whispering in her ear. "Don't talk. I'll explain why you're here."

"Where is here?"

"Lima Woods, but that's not the point. As a friend, I found it my responsibility to set you up on a date. You are so depressing when you're single."

"Hey!"

"It's true. But anyways, I found someone who fit your description for your perfect lover."

"Really?" Rachel stopped and turned towards Kurt's voice. By her body language, Kurt could tell that she was intrigued. "Who?"

"Not telling."

"Kurt!"

"Shush!"

"So you're telling me that you set me up on a date without my knowledge or permission and I can't even have a hint?"

"Try to contain your enthusiasm, Tubbers."

"That was two years ago, Santana."

"Sorry, Stretch Marks."

"Low blow."

"I know."

"So, who is it?"

"Not happening."

"Please?"

"I'll give you a hint, give 'em a chance 'cause I know you're 'interested' in 'em."

"That's a bad hint. Can I have another?"

"No, and be quiet, we're close."

"Come on, S. Help out a friend."

"Who said you were a friend?"

"Hey!"

"Shush!"


Chapter 5


Kurt had Tina set up picnic, which had vegan food for Rachel, about ten minutes before Kurt and Santana arrived. When they got there, Kurt silently thanked Tina. It was perfect. He knew Rachel would love the picturesque setting and the classic wicker basket and tablecloth that looked like it came right out of a cheap romance novel. He didn't know Quinn very well, so he couldn't judge what her reaction would be, but when he spotted Santana about thirty feet away on the other side of the clearing, he could tell that she had been questioned the exact same way as he had. He waved to Santana without alerting the diva of her presence and motioned that it was all right to take the blindfold off Quinn. The two girls blinked for a moment, looking thoroughly disoriented, but when they saw each other, they looked even more confused.

Kurt saw Quinn and Santana start to have a heated conversation. It looked like the beginnings of a fight, so he intervened. "Alright, guys!" Kurt walked to the center of the clearing and stopped next to the picnic setup. "Here's the deal. There's food in the basket. We'll pick you up in about an hour and a half. I wouldn't try to walk away, we're in the middle of Lima Woods and I don't want anyone getting lost. Bye guys!"

Quinn and Rachel were still processing as Santana and Kurt snuck away. Quinn snapped out of her daze first, made her way to the picnic in the center of the clearing, and sat down. Rachel copied her a few seconds later and they stared at each other from across the picnic basket.

"Hi."

"Hi."

Hi! This is really early, I know. But I couldn't resist! I'm still working on Iris, albeit a little more slowly, but I promise to pick it back up soon (A.K.A. after finals).

-Elle