I can't even begin to tell you what this is...or where this idea came from. All I know is that it wouldn't leave me alone all day at work. I hope the progression all makes sense. I tried a new writing style and it might be a mess. I hope you enjoy! It's really kind of sad. Oops.


Eighteen days after their graduation from Hollywood Arts, Beck and Jade announce they're having a baby.

They're sitting in Tori's living room, watching trashy reality shows and noshing on B.F. Wang's. The smell from Cat's bang bang noodles makes Jade rush to the bathroom where she spends at least ten minutes retching violently.

Cat apologizes to the noodles and tells them it's not their fault.

Beck simply chuckles and ruffles Cat's red hair. When Jade returns, he stands and mumbles something in her ear. It quickly turns into a quiet argument where Jade keeps repeating "no" fifteen times and elbowing Beck in his ribs.

"Just tell them!"

"No!"

"They're going to find out sooner or later."

"Why? Because I'm going to get FAT?"

Tori gasps. Then Andre chokes. Robbie's quick to cover Rex's mouth before he can make a lewd comment that just might cost him his second life.

Cat tilts her head to the side in confusion. "I don't get it."

Jade rolls her eyes. Of course. "I'm pregnant," she announces dully.

Beck smiles dutifully and points to Jade's flat stomach. "I did that."

Tori's the first to react. She stands up with an ultra sonic squeal and throws her arms around Jade, her slender hands rubbing Jade's stomach.

"Enough!" Jade hisses. "Or I'll cut every inch of your pretty hair off."

"Congrats," Tori says with a tight smile, taking a large step back and holding her hands up in surrender.

Andre and Robbie bump fists and keep their distance away from Jade. "So, uh, how did this happen?" Andre asks quizzically, and, rather dumbly.

"Uh, when we were having sex," Jade says in a deep voice. She rolls her eyes and glares at Robbie, almost begging him to say something so she can lunge forward and break his glasses. She can blame her reaction on the pregnancy hormones. No one would argue with that. "What a stupid question."

Cat keeps eating her noodles and wipes her mouth with the same napkin she's been using all night. She sighs and pretends like she doesn't feel everyone's gaze focused on her. "These noodles are so yummy."

"Aren't you going to shriek like a banshee and tell me you want the baby's name to be Cat Jr.?" Jade asks in annoyance. But when Cat doesn't react, she sighs and realizes Cat's not going to take this well. "Cat?"

"Whaty?" Cat asks, a noodle dangling from the side of the month. She looks more and more like a kicked puppy as the conversation progresses.

Beck scratches his head. "Did you hear our news?"

"Yeah," Cat whispers with a slight shrug. "There's a baby in Jade's tummy."

"And?"

Cat purses her lips in confusion. "And what?" She blinks rapidly and sucks her bottom lip between her teeth. "Congrats."

Beck rubs Jade's back when he sees her face fall. He knew Cat was still trying to come to terms with the fact they've graduated high school. Now she has to accept her best friend is having a baby and their relationship will probably change.

"Why don't we watch a movie?" Robbie suggests when the tension is too much. He's starting to sweat.

"Can you just drive me home?" Cat asks meekly. She throws out her bang bang noodles and looks at Robbie pleadingly. "I'm tired."

"I can drive you," Jade offers rather kindly.

"It's okay," Cat says politely. "You probably shouldn't drive in your condition."

"Condition?" Jade guffaws. "I'm pregnant, not terminal."

Cat mumbles something and rushes out the door because the tears are coming so fast, she can no longer control them. Everything's changing so fast! It's not fair. She feels a hand on her back; it's Robbie, peering down at her sympathetically.

"What's wrong, Kitty Cat?"

"Jade's going to forget about me when the baby comes!" Cat wails, sniffling and sniveling all the way to Robbie's junk box of a car.

"No she won't," Robbie promises. "You're pretty hard to forget."

It takes a minute or two, but when they pass the Freezy Queen where Jade always takes her when her big brother is acting up, Cat believes him. And she smiles.

She's going to be an aunt!

x

"God, this baby makes me so horny."

Cat gasps at Jade's lewd revelation and is glad when Tori quickly covers her ears just in case Jade starts to spout off more bad words. "Watch it," Tori hisses, her brown eyes gesturing to Cat, who's still in shock.

"Please," Jade rolls her eyes, adjusting her black shirt. "She has to understand that this baby came from Beck inserting his-"

"Enough, enough," Tori groans. She deems it safe to remove her hands from Cat's ears and rubs the redhead's back. "I don't want to hear about your escapades."

"One time my brother tried to join the ice capades," Cat chirps with a giggle.

Both Jade and Tori decide not to indulge Cat and change the subject. "So, Cat, you're leaving for San Francisco next week. Are you excited?"

"Kind of," Cat admits with a dimply smile. "But I'm scared. What if I get stuck on the Golden Gate Bridge and there's no one to rescue me?"

"I'm pretty sure that's not going to happen, Cat," Jade tries to say reassuringly but since there's absolutely no conviction in her voice, Cat doesn't believe her and whimpers in fear.

"What if it does?" Cat's voice is getting increasingly panicked by the second.

Jade grumbles, "it won't," and holds her arms out for a hug. Cat's back to her normal bubbly self and hugs her tightly. She's trying to maneuver herself on Jade's lap but it's kind of hard with her growing belly in the way. "Cat, be careful," Jade hisses with a slight whine. "Watch the baby."

Cat starts pouting and feels like a child as Jade reprimands her. Then, she feels like an infant when Tori pulls her away and holds her back.

Stupid baby.

x

"Bye Andre! Bye Robbie! Bye Tori!" Cat beams as her dad loads the last of her luggage into the back of their green SUV. She hugs them all and giggles when Andre sweeps her off the feet and tells her to "be careful" just like a big brother would. Her own brother just barked at her when she tried saying goodbye.

It's when Cat's saying one last goodbye to Tori that she realizes Beck and Jade are nowhere to be found. "Where's Beck and Jade?" she whimpers.

Tori's face falls and she rubs Cat's arms soothingly. "Beck called and said Jade had to go the doctor's this morning and might not make it."

"Oh." Cat forces a smile and stands on her tiptoes to hug Tori tightly.

She's really starting to hate this baby.

x

Hey baby girl, sorry I couldn't say goodbye.

Cat throws her phone down on her pink comforter and looks at her roommate pleadingly. She's a geeky girl with thick glasses and Cat thinks they're going to get along just great! Lila likes to read and watch Disney Movies. Mulan is her favorite; Cat thinks Mulan is just okay because it's still kind of scary to her.

"Hey, Lila, want to go to Freezy Queen?" There's one right across from campus! It was fate for Cat. She definitely chose the right school.

Lila frowns. "I can't eat ice cream."

"Oh my gosh, why?" Cat gasps like Lila's confessed to having cancer.

"I'm lactose intolerant."

Cat doesn't really know what that means but nods anyway. She lets out a long sigh and picks up at her phone. Maybe Jade can visit this weekend!

It's okay! Maybe you and Beck can visit this weekend!

Jade doesn't respond until the next morning. Cat's trying her best to follow Lila through the large crowds but when she loses her somewhere between the cafeteria and the large gym, her bottom lip starts to quiver. She pulls out her phone and tries to keep her cool while she searches through her contacts for Lila's number.

Her phone dings. It's a text from Jade.

Can't. I've been having morning sickness all week. Maybe some other time.

Cat breaks down right in the middle of the quad and doesn't care who sees.

x

September passes and when Halloween rolls around, Cat invites her friends to a fashion show her class is putting on. The theme is akin to Tim Burton movies and Cat knows how much Jade loves Tim Burton. She's sure to come!

Tori comes from San Diego to see the show and Andre even flies in from Boston! It's more of a coincidence though since he had to fly home anyway to visit his grandmother who was getting crazier and crazier by the second. Robbie can't come because he's stuck in New York but he wishes her the best of luck and sends a teddy bear in the mail with an "I love New York" shirt. Cat names him Lance.

Beck promises, promises they'll be there. Jade's finally over her morning sickness and is just about six months pregnant now.

The show goes off without a hitch and Cat's collection gets the loudest cheers. She beams and twirls and laps up the attention like a neglected child. After the show, she rushes towards Andre and Tori and giggles melodically when Andre scoops her up and twirls her around.

"You did such a great job, Cat!" Tori tells her with a large smile.

Andre echoes Tori's sentiment and hugs Cat before he sets her down.

"Thanks!" Cat grins from ear to ear, jumping in place. She hugs Tori and stands on her tiptoes to see if Jade and Beck are hiding behind them. "Where's Jade and Beck?"

"Uh, I don't know," Andre shrugs. He pulls at his hair and Cat knows he's hiding something. "Maybe they were late and had to sit in the back."

"Yeah, I haven't seen them."

Cat feels like everything is crashing down. She hasn't seen Jade in almost TWO months and it's driving her crazy! Jade never answers her calls or texts. It usually takes her two or three days to respond. She blames it on the baby and work and everything. Cat's honestly sick of that excuse.

"They're not coming," Cat surmises. She sounds like such a child and all the growing up she's done at college is suddenly dissipating. She stomps her foot and breaks into a loud sob that startles her classmates.

Tori's quick to hug her and say everything will be okay but Cat doesn't believe it. Jade doesn't care about her. It's when Tori calls her "baby girl" by complete accident that makes Cat freak out and pull away. She screams and tears at her hair because only Jade can call her that! Tori looks so apologetic but Cat can't really make out her face through the haze and blur of salty tears.

"I hate this dumb baby!" Cat cries like a little girl. She knows she sounds ridiculous but she can't help it. "I hate it, Tor."

Tori just hums in agreement and takes Cat back to her room, braids her hair, tucks her in with Lance, Mr. Purple, and Mr. Longneck and stays with her until she falls asleep an hour or so later.

When Cat wakes up the next morning, there's no unread text messages or missed calls. Beck and Jade's absence remains unexplained.

x

Mrs. Valentine picks Cat up two days before Thanksgiving. Cat's pleasantly surprised and rushes to her mother. But beforehand, she hugs Lila because they're best friends now. Lila lets Cat sleep in her bed if she's had a nightmare and Lila always, always picks up her phone on the second ring, and Lila takes care of and makes sure she's got all her work done.

Lila's like Jade. Except she's not. She doesn't compare to Jade but Cat tells herself its okay to get through the days.

"I ran into Mrs. West the other day," Mrs. Valentine begins once they merge onto the highway back to LA. "Jade's having a tough pregnancy."

"Oh." Cat's bottom lip starts to quiver. "The baby is making her tummy hurt?" she asks innocently, knitting her eyebrows together in confusion.

"Yeah," Mrs. Valentine confirms sadly. "Very much. She's been on bed rest for about a month now."

Now it all makes sense.

"Is it my fault?"

Mrs. Valentine can't help but laugh. "Why would it be your fault, sweetheart?"

Cat just shrugs and hugs Mr. Purple because she feels like the worst person in the world. This is what she gets for hating the unborn child of her best friend.

x

12:06.

Cat whimpers when she feels her body being shaken violently. She sits up and rubs her eyes as they try to adjust to the bright light illuminating from her bedside table.

"Mommy?"

Mrs. Valentine looks like she's been crying.

"Mommy, what's wrong?" Cat whispers in fright.

"It's Jade," Mrs. Valentine says vaguely. She brushes the hair out of Cat's eyes and holds both her hands tight. "She's in the hospital, baby."

Cat gasps and the tears instantly form. "Is she okay?"

"She's okay, but the baby isn't." When Cat just shakes her head and whimpers frantically, Mrs. Valentine continues. "They had to deliver the baby early because of complications. But, but the baby…the baby didn't make it."

"No! No, no, you're lying! The baby's okay!"

"It's not, honey. The baby was stillborn."

Cat doesn't know what that means and she doesn't want to know what that means. Instead, she clings to her mother and cries on her shoulder for a good three hours until she's exhausted herself to sleep.

The next morning, her mom brings her to the hospital to visit Jade. She's still in her matching cupcake pajamas, which makes her look similar to a child. If she's dressed like a child, Jade can't get too mad at her, right?

"Want me to come in?"

Cat shakes her head and hugs her mom. She holds Mr. Purple tighter and tighter as her keds scuff against the floor. Beck's lingering outside the room, mumbling on the phone. Cat wants to run away but it's too late; he's spotted her.

"Cat." Beck's voice breaks as he hangs up his phone and closes the distance between him and the little redhead. "What are you doing here?"

"My mom brought me," Cat says shyly. She can't look at Beck; his eyes are all red rimmed and he looks beyond exhausted. "I'm so sorry about the baby."

"It's okay," Beck manages to choke out, wrapping Cat in a hug. "We, we knew from the beginning it was a complicated pregnancy."

Cat closes her eyes and clutches Beck's tattered flannel shirt like a lifeline. All the missed calls and missed opportunities make sense. Jade's excuse was completely true and Cat hates herself for ever doubting it.

"Do you want to go in and see Jade?"

"Uh huh," Cat sniffles. She hugs Beck one last time and quietly tiptoes in the room. Jade's back to her and she can hear quiet cries emitting from her strong best friend. "J-Jadey?"

It takes a minute, but Jade takes a breath and rolls over. Her eyes are puffy, red, and severely blood shot. "H-hey, Cat." It's not long before she starts crying again.

Cat climbs in the lumpy hospital bed and snuggles up against her best friend. Jade sobs into her shoulder and Cat wonders if the people at school would think Jade was heartless and cold now.

"I'm so sorry, Jade," Cat whispers in Jade's ear, her tiny fingers running through the black hair covering Jade's face. "So, so, sorry."

"I'm sorry I forgot about you."

Cat closes her eyes and tries to pretend that she never, ever felt that way. "S'okay," she mumbles, squeezing Jade tight against her significantly smaller body. They're so close together that their heartbeats are singing together. Except Jade's is singing a sadder song. A song of loss and heartbreak.

They lay in silence until Jade pulls away, sits up, and paws at her eyes in complete embarrassment. "It was a girl."

Cat pouts in sympathy and squeezes Jade's knee. "I bet she was pretty. Just like you. And Beck," she adds in with a giggle which makes Jade smile.

"Yeah," Jade says distantly. She takes Mr. Purple when Cat offers him. "Thanks for coming, baby girl. I know I haven't been the greatest friend…"

Cat shakes her head in protest. "I, I was jealous of the baby," she confesses quietly. Jade laughs, but when she breaks down, Jade becomes serious.

"Cat, it's okay."

"It's not okay!" Cat cries. She denies Jade a hug and tries desperately to steady her stupid wobbling lip. "I said I hated the baby when you couldn't come to my fashion show! It's my fault she died!"

Jade's blinking back her own tears as she tries to calm Cat down. "It's not your fault," she says reassuringly. "It was a very complicated pregnancy."

"Then whose fault is it?" Cat asks innocently.

"I don't know," Jade finally answers after a moment of silence. "Fate."

"Fate?" Cat sniffles, scooting closer to Jade. "I don't get it."

"Maybe it's fate the baby didn't make it," Jade says like she's had an epiphany or something. "Maybe she's better off wherever she is."

Cat remains confused doesn't pry anymore since Jade seems content with her answer. She drops her head on the older girl's shoulder and sighs. "I'm sorry this happened to you."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was having trouble," Jade whispers mournfully. She hugs Cat tight against her chest and kisses the top of her head. "I didn't want to scare you."

"What were you going to name her?" Cat asks. She's absently tracing the ugly pattern on Jade's hospital gown. When she realizes her fingers are close to Jade's stomach, she pulls away.

"Sophie," Jade responds sadly. "Sophie Caterina Oliver."

If possible, Cat hugs Jade even tighter and apologizes over and over again. Maybe, if maybe, she hadn't thought those awful thoughts little Sophie would still be alive. Jade keeps apologizing for shutting her out and the two cry in each other's arms until Beck comes in with a cup of coffee for Jade and a cup of chocolate milk for Cat. He climbs in bed with them and holds them both tight.

The sun pokes through the gray clouds and Cat thinks it's Sophie telling her mommy and daddy that she's made it to heaven and everything's going to be okay because she's an angel now. She's going to watch over them and keep them safe.

Cat feels like she's overstaying her welcome. She finishes off her chocolate milk and hugs Beck and Jade one last time before climbing out of the bed.

"I'm sorry again," she tells the couple shyly, peering at the floor.

"We'll come visit soon, okay?" Beck promises with a smile.

"Okay," Cat nods brightly. "Take your time though. I, I understand."

x

Cat doesn't see Beck and Jade very much over the holidays. They're both still taking the loss of Sophie day by day and she understands. She goes back to school in the middle of January and tells Lila all about her vacation. Lila sits back and listens intently and suggests they watch a Disney movie. They mutually decide on The Little Mermaid and Cat sings along. Lila doesn't. Despite her annoyance, Jade would always, always sing along. Especially to "Kiss the Girl."

The weeks pass and Cat's finally getting used to all her new classes. They're a lot tougher but she enjoys them. She gets to take a creative writing class and writes a short story about a young couple coping with the loss of their child. She gets her very first college A!

When she's leaving her last class of the day, her phone rings. It's Lila.

"Cat?" Lila sounds a bit distressed. "There's a scary Goth girl in our room. She says she knows you."

Cat squeals so loud that the people in China can probably hear her. She runs at top speed and zigzags in and out of the crowd until she reaches her dorm. By the time she's at her room, she's out of breath. Lila opens the door and Cat drops her bag at the entrance. Sure enough, there's Jade sitting on her desk chair with a scowl on her face. She looks more like her regular self now. Most of her baby weight is gone and Cat's going to make an effort not to bring up Sophie.

"Jade! Jade!" Cat cries in happiness. She scrambles over to her best friend and hugs her tightly.

"You're hurting my ribs," Jade moans in annoyance. "Cat! Off!"

Cat giggles and giggles and bounces in place. She pulls on Jade's wrist. "How long are you staying for? I can't believe you came for a surprise visit!"

"Since I drove five hours I'm at least spending the night," Jade snaps good-naturedly. "Maybe even two if you behave."

"I'll behave!" Cat promises with a smile so wide, it looks like she's got a hanger stuck in her mouth.

"Good," Jade grumbles. "I'm starving. Let's get some food."

"Kay, kay!" Cat nods frantically and holds on to Jade's hand while she leads her through the hallways, chatting animatedly about her neighbors and such.

Cat convinces Jade to take her to Freezy Queen. All it takes is some whining and puppy dog eyes. "Fine!" Jade concedes in annoyance. "Only because I want an iced coffee."

After Jade gets her iced coffee and Cat gets her hot fudge sundae, they return to campus and sit on the grass. It's silent, save for Cat's squealing each time she shoves a spoonful of ice cream in her mouth. Jade shuffles around the ice in her drink and looks up at the sky before looking at Cat. The little redhead has hot fudge all over her mouth and looks like an absolute mess.

"Here," Jade says with an eye roll, shoving a wad of napkins in Cat's hand. "Clean your face. You're a sticky mess."

Cat giggles and scoots closer to Jade. "Jade?" she begins timidly while swirling her spoon all around the soupy ice cream. "I'm glad you're here."

"Yeah," Jade answers after a pause. She rubs Cat's back and pulls her in for a side hug. "Me, too, baby girl. This is exactly what I needed."

Cat knows Jade's still hurting, it's written clearly on her face, but she doesn't pry. Instead, the two friends revel in each other's presence and soak in the comfortable silence. Even though things have been rough, everything about this moment is perfect.