Made this in my English class for a book project for my finals. Sorry if it may sound cencered, but I had to make it skool appropriate. And why is it in Caps Lock you may ask? Because I figured it'd be more like the books... Its all in caps lock. SO I hope you all like this. And FYI: this is my first JtHM fan fic.

Disclaimer: I don't have the genius that Jhonen Vasquez have to create JtHM so no I don't own it.


DEAR DIE-ARY,

AFTER I EITHER "AWOKE" FROM A HATED SLEEP AND A STUPID DREAM, OR WAS "BROUGHT BACK", AFTER I WAS KILLED FROM THE GUN, I COULDN'T HELP BUT FEEL CONFUSED. I KNOW THAT THE DEVEL SAID THAT I WOULD FEEL LIKE I JUST WOKE UP FROM A SLEEP, BUT I GUESS THAT'S WHY THEY SAY HE'S A MASTER OF TORTURE. I DON'T KNOW IF WHAT HAPPENED IN BOTH HEAVON OR HELL ACTUALLY HAPPENED TO ME, OR JUST WHAT A HIDDEN PIECE OF MY MIND WANTED TO HAPPEN.

IN OTHER WORDS, I'VE BEEN TO HEAVON AND HELL, AND I STILL DON'T KNOW IF THE DEVEL OR GOD EXIST. BUT STILL, IT'S SOMETHING TO WRITE ABOUT.

BUT REGARDLESS OF WHAT HAPPENED WAS REAL OR NOT, I KNOW THAT I HAVE A MISSION NOW, THOUGH I'M STILL FOGGY AS TO WHAT THAT PARTICULAR MISSION IS EXACTLY. AND FOR THIS I COULDN'T HELP BUT FEEL… LIGHTER IN SOME STRANGE SENCE. LIKE SOME PART OF ME WAS AWARE OF MY NEW FREEDOM FROM WHATEVER WAS CONTROLING ME BEFORE, THE REST OF ME STILL NEEDS INSIGHT.

THEN THERE'S THE SITUATION WITH THAT "SUPPOSEDLY" TALKING BURGER BOY. I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE HE CAME FROM, HELL I DON'T EVEN KNOW I HAD THAT LITTLE STATUE THING OF THE BUGER BOY. I CAN'T EVEN TELL IF HE'S ANOTHER VERSION OF D-BOY OR MR. EFF OR IF HE'S MY OWN VOICE LIKE NAILBUNNY. NO THAT'S NOT RIGHT. I COULD STAND NAILBUNNY, I DON'T THINK I CAN STAND FOR THIS ANNOYING STATUE/TOY THING.

SPEAKING OF THINGS I CAN'T STAND. I RECENTLY DISCOVERED THAT THERE IS IN FACT SOMEONE OUT MORE DILISSIONED THEN ME IN THIS WORLD. SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY DECIDED TO LOOK UP TO ME AS A "HERO". HA! AND WHAT WAS EVEN MORE INSULTING WAS WHAT HIS STUPID MIND THOUGHT WOULD BE LIKE THE "ACTIONS" I HAVE DONE INTO SOMETHING EVEN MORE HORRENDIOUS AND DARED TO SAY THAT IT WAS ALL BECAUSE OF HIS DILLUTED VIEWS ON MY OWN. I DELT WITH HIM THE SAME WAY YOU WOULD GUESS.

HE ASKED ME "WHY?" I TOLD HIM THE TRUTH; I DON'T LIKE MYSELF MUCH.

LATELY I'VE BEEN EVEN MORE DOWN THEN BEFORE. AND MR. SAMSA "LIFE" SEEMS TO BE A BETTER ESCAPE FOR ME NOW THEN THE LAST TIME. HMMM… MAYBE IF I DID ERADICATE ALL FEELINGS FROM ME, MAKE MYSELF AS COLD AND AS UNFEELING AS MR. SAMSA. SOUNDS LIKE THE PERFECT PLAN. OH, BUT WAIT THERE ARE THINGS I NEED TO DO NOW THAT I'M NO LONGER A SLAVE TO WHATEVER IT WAS THAT WAS INSLAVING ME. MAYBE… JUST A MAYBE, MAYBE, I SHOULD… APOLIGIZE… TO-TO HER. JUST BEFORE I ERATICATE ANY REMAINING FEELINGS I MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE FOR HER. I OWE HER THAT MUCH AT THE VERY LEAST. ALTHOUGH I DON'T THINK I'M GOING TO GET ANY SYMPATHY, OR FORGIVENESS.

OH NO. AND THEN THERE'S SQUEE. I JUST CAN'T LEAVE HIM OUT OF THE BLUE. HE MIGHT GET WORRIED, WHICH IS IN HIS NATURE FOR HIM BEING SO YOUNG. MAYBE I'LL SAY ONE MORE GOOD-BYE/NIGHT TI HIM. AND WHEN I DO THAT I'LL BE SURE THAT HE WATCHES OUT FOR HIMSELF. HE'S TOO RARE IN THIS WORLD, I WOULD HATE TO SEE HIM SUCCOMB TO THE SCUM OF THIS WORLD. HMMM… I CAN'T SAY I KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO DO DIE-ARY, ALL I KNOW IS THAT I'M GOING TO DO IT. AND HOPEFULLYAFTER THEN I'LL BE ABLE TO START MY SO-CALLED "MISSION". AND WHEN I'M READY… I HOPE TO BE AS COLD AS THE MOON UBOVE ME THAT LIGHTS THIS PAGE.

JHONNY C.


So how'd I do? R&R