Authors Note: This is a parody of random chapters from the HP books. Any semblance of normalcy or sanity has been scrubbed up, dumped in the trash, taken to the landfill, shot, burned, tossed in acid, and finally fed to Fangirls. Now on to the story...

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Book one: The Stoner's Stone Chapter Six: The journey from platform Six and Six Sixths

Henry Florist sat on the Hogsnorts Express, quite lonely in his compartment. He sighed and hoisted his trunk onto the storage area above his seat.

Quite unfortunately, this was the point at which Dorko Malfoy decided to walk (strut) into the compartment.

"And who might this be?" Asked Dorko, completely ignoring every rule of grammar ever written. Somewhere in britain, Shakespeare rolled over in his grave.

Henry dropped his trunk, which convinently landed on Dorkos foot. Howling, Dorko leapt back and smashed into his brutish bodygaurds, who we will never name.

Those Who Are Not Named stepped forward, presumably to bash Henry into the floor of the train, but the exhausted metal under their massive forms decided to give up and collapse. The two fell halfway through, their feet scraping the tracks.

Dorko looked at Henry with utter and total terror. He began to step backwards very slowly. Henry, taking all this in stride, as was his custom after what happened with Gaghid.

He actually began laughing when Dorko turned tail and ran, mostly because of the small wet stain in between his legs.

Well, it wasn't nearly as boring now.