Author's note: So I got this idea into my head and couldn't stop thinking of it, even while I was working on chapter 2 of my Strawberry Panic! Fic. So I decided to get it out of my system by writing it out. This isn't a serious fic, mainly just a parody of magical girl animes with a Valkyrie Profile theme.
Disclaimer: I don't own Valkyrie Profile. Any resemblance this fic has to any magical girl animes is purely intentional. Lawsuits will be laughed at.
Chapter 1
"So, what career did you have in mind Mr…?"
"Watnabe Ren" replied the man as he looked across the room at the career counsellor.
As the counsellor scribbled on the form in front of him with a pen Ren observed his surroundings. The room, like all rooms in St Gard's University was bland in appearance. A grey tiled floor with roughly painted white walls, light streaming in from the window broken by the wooden board which covered one of the 4 panes. The guidance counsellor himself was an aged man, hair receded to form a horseshoe shape with a red-patched bald spot, a look of boredom and resignation upon his creased face.
The counsellor looked up expectantly and Ren suddenly realised he was waiting for an answer to his question. Ren did not have to think long before he knew the answer.
"No idea." He replied.
A troubled look formed on the senior's face. "Well then, there must be something you can do. How are you with technology?"
"Have you tried plugging it in?" the phone technician said.
"Oh," replied Ren. "It's on now. Well, it took us a few hours, but we got there in the end, eh?"
"How are you with cooking?"
Ren looked at the customers with a feeling of self-satisfaction. He had been concerned about the quality of the cooking, an acrid smoke came from his curry, after he had finished preparing the sushi he could've sworn it was moving out of the corner of his eye, and the eggs and ham had turned green! He turned happily towards his manager, expecting praise.
"What are you doing boy? Call an ambulance!"
"How come?" he had replied with confusion, "Is there an emergency?"
"These people are dying Watnabe!"
"You mean… those aren't tears of happiness?"
"And that's how I lost my first job."
"Well, maybe you could be a taxi driver."
Ren squinted through the rain-soaked windscreen. It was the day of his test and things were not going well. At the start he had accidentally reversed and nearly hit the instructor who had scolded him for nearly leaving without him. 5 minutes in and he had reached for the radio, the driving instructor told him to stop and so he did, as he hit the brakes the car behind him screeched to a halt, the cars behind it crashing into the rear. While they had exchanged contact details a downpore had started and now he couldn't see where he was going.
"Hey, how do I start the… window… wiping… things?"
"Just carry on as if I weren't here" the instructor replied.
So he wound the window down and stuck his head out, his silver-blue hair quickly becoming soaking wet as the wind blew rain against the side of the car with great force.
When he finally parked up at their destination he wound the window back up and turned towards the instructor with apprehension.
"I'm half-soaked boy!" the examiner had said.
"So, you were half here then?" he had replied.
"…and after that my parents didn't have the money to pay for my resit." Ren concluded.
"Dear God man! Is there anything you can do?"
Ren did not have to think long before he knew the answer.
"Fighters and RPGs." He replied.
"GET OUT OF MY OFFICE!"
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Ren slumped down at the kotatsu table in his dorm. His roommates, thankfully, were not here. He had waited too long before trying to find a roommate the previous year and by the time he got around to it all his friends had already made arrangements. On the deadline he had returned to the accommodation office in despair and found Benjirach trying to persuade the female secretary to be his roommate. He had made several lecherous comments about the 'benefits' of being his roommate and soon the woman called security and had him dragged outside. He spoke with him and after some persuasion convinced him to give up on his dream of 2 hot, loose female roommates and convinced him to join up with him as well. By the end of the day they still hadn't found a third person to join up with them but Ren's best friend Lucian had called his mobile and explained his previous roommates had let him down.
Benjirach was simply annoying, but Lucian was too damn successful. Lucian was well on his way to becoming a doctor and Ren just couldn't bring himself to face him.
Ren pulled himself to his feet with a sigh and turned towards the mirror. "What do you want from life?" He asked his reflection. The grey-eyed silver-haired boy looked back at him with an apathetic look on his face. For 23 years he had had no aspirations, drifting through life without any wonder for what the next day might bring. After school he had drifted from one dead-end job to the next before finally taking up a degree in politics. In his usual fashion he had scraped through his classes, keeping his attendance at the mandatory 70% by sleeping through class or bribing his classmates to write his name on the register, scraping through tests narrowly by cramming frantically the night before his tests. Now he was in the last year of his studies and still couldn't see a future for himself. He stared again at the reflection in the mirror, maybe he should ask the blonde-haired green clad beauty who had just appeared out of thin air behind him?
Ren spun around in shock as he backed away from the woman who appeared to be floating in air with her legs crossed.
"I've finally found you. Lenneth." She spoke in a deliberate tone.
"Wh-what are you?" Ren spoke as he backed into the mirror behind him. The heavy mirror fell and would've smashed had the woman not teleported across the room and caught it with one hand as if it were a tissue.
"I am the Goddess Freya" She spoke as the mirror levitated back into position. "And you are a Valkyrie."
