Disclaimer- I don't own Cowboy Bebop.

Yes, I have managed an impossible feat. A Gren fanfiction that isn't despressing. It's AU, and short, and takes place in our world. :)

Enjoy! :)


"I don't want to be here."

Gren glanced at Vicious' unsmiling face and grinned sheepishly. "Me neither. That's why I asked you to come."

"You blackmailed me."

Gren looked around at the large, airy mall and shrugged. "It's not that bad, is it? I've seen worse."

Vicious shuddered at all the bright lights and pretty colors and happy people that passed them. "Isn't this kind of shopping something you should do alone?"

"I don't know, I've never done it before. You've had girlfriends, so I figured you would have a little more experience than me. And you're the one always telling me to show off my figure, so shut up."

Vicious' expression soured even more as they entered the "undergarment" store, which was full of old ladies brazenly ignoring their sagging boobs, young girls awkwardly poking the racks, and young college students excitedly picking things out for a big night.

"This stuff is a little more raunchy than I wanted," sighed Gren. "I just want a normal bra."

"You don't need a bra," grumbled Vicious. "Your shirts cover you just fine."

"Can it, Mr. Hypocritical."

Gren started browsing the racks, holding a few of them out, trying to see if he liked them. Vicious stood watch like a tall, dark, angry raptor, doing his best to deflect odd looks from the other shoppers. Gren might not be aware of it, but two (not quite!) thirty year-old men shopping for bras looked pretty unusual.

A stout, pleasant middle-aged woman cautiously approached them, relaxing slightly when she saw Gren's nice face. She skittered around Vicious, which was an appropriate reaction, considering his name.

"Hello," she said, her voice surprisingly calm as she tried to avoid Vicious' gaze. "Can I help you with anything?"

Gren scratched his head, confused. "I'm looking for bras, er, for a friend, you know, and I'm not exactly sure what size I-they are, and I was just wondering if you could help me figure it out."

The woman looked happy to be in her own territory. "Can you point out a bra size that looks right?"

"Probably a large B or a small C...but it's hard to tell when you're not looking at them..."

"Oh, that kind of lady friend?" winked the woman, her curls bobbing. "Do you want to go look in the lingerie section?"

Vicious and Gren simultaneously turned their heads to the lingerie section, and Vicious smirked. Seeing that slight change in expression, Gren hastily changed the subject, hoping Vicious wasn't getting any ideas.

"No, that's okay, we're looking for something practical, easy to move around in-"

Vicious smirked again, and Gren glared at him. It was something in that look that made Vicious do what he did next.

He unexpectedly moved against Gren's back and reached around, grabbing both of Gren's breasts through his loose shirt, grinning a very wicked grin. Gren gasped in shock and slight discomfort, and Vicious asked, "What do you think, Bs or Cs?"

Vicious held his grip on Gren's breasts, and Gren blushed beet red, squirming against Vicious in such a way that he couldn't help be aroused. The shop lady stared in absolute shock.

"I-I'm sorry," stammered Gren, his face on fire, still in Vicious' clutches. "He's unmanageable, isn't h-he? Let go!"

Vicious finally eased up on him, and Gren straightened his shirt, embarrassed beyond belief.

"W-We'll go, I can't believe him, he's incorrigible, someone needs to teach him manners, I just-"

The sales lady brought a finger to her lips and rummaged through the racks, pulling out two or three bras. "Here, I think these are your size. Keep them, they're on me."

Gren covered his face with his hands. "I can't believe this is happening."

Vicious accepted the bras, watching the woman check them out and bag them. He carried them out of the stores and Gren glared at him. On their way out, Gren suddenly reached over and squeezed Vicious' ass.

"If you think you're getting away with this, you're not."

"Didn't you say something about teaching me some manners?"

Gren got a terrifying gleam in his eye, and Vicious wondered if he may have unleashed a monster.

"Let's get home. I have a lesson to teach."

For once, Vicious was a willing student.


Reviews are love! :)