A/N: My humour response to the AVPM challenge. Quote: "It's Hermione. It's just, every time I think about her, I get these pains in my chest, and I know it's all her fault. That bitch!" Characters: Ron/Snape

Snape usually didn't stay at breakfast past eight, but today was a special occasion.
He watched his redheaded prey enter the Great Hall and begin to eat.
Ron Weasley was, as usual, shoveling food in his mouth when all of a sudden he stopped. He raised his head, gazing at one of his best friends across the table.
"Hermione," He croaked out.
Said bushy-haired know-it-all looked up from her book.
"I love you." The earnestness in Ron's voice summoned a strange look to Hermione's face, and also the attention of several surrounding Gryffindors.
Ron jumped on the bench and yelled for the whole of Hogwarts to hear, "Hermione Granger, will you marry me?"
"If this your idea of a joke Ronald Weasley, you are poorly humoured." Hermione's voice was barely above a whisper, but her words could be heard by everyone in the Great Hall. She then promptly scurried out of the cavernous room, wiping tears from her face.
Everyone stared at a still Ron, whose shoulders then collapsed as he sat back down at the table.
"But I love her, why doesn't she love me?" Ron whined through his hands.
Harry clasped a hand to his best friend's shoulder. "Er, what was that about?"
"I love her! But she doesn't love me... What am I supposed to do?"
A small smile had spread in Snape's face as the scene had unfurled. The potion wasn't a standard love potion- it only intensified any such feelings the taker had. Who would have known that the Weasley brat loved Granger?
Yes, this kind of sadistic humour was the only thing that kept Snape in his job.