With his ninja stealth skills, acquired through years of sneaking around, Auror Harry J. Potter successfully completed the first stage of his critical mission. His target suspected nothing.
'She suspects nothing!' Harry thought to himself as he tip-toed out of the room, the sleeping form of Ginny Potter snoozing on their bed behind him.
Once out of her hearing range, Harry reiterated off his masterpiece of a master plan to himself.
'Step one: Cook delicious breakfast.
Step two: Feast upon scrumptious meal with gorgeous wife.
Step three: Beautiful wife will be so impressed with my cooking skills, she will snog my brains out!'
"But Harry!' Harry's brain said. 'We've been through so much together! What will you do without me?"
"It's Ginny."
"Good point. Takin' one for the team, right mate."
With that matter settled, Harry headed off to work – but he was smart – he would not cook breakfast in the kitchen – he would sneak into another room and work there – since he was a wizard, it wasn't much of a challenge.
Ginny Potter awoke to a half-empty bed.
"Yes! My scheme can now come into effect!" Ginny declared, before rising from bed, washing up and heading for the kitchen, with the exact same plan in mind that Harry had.
Ginny reached for the butter, but it vanished before her eyes. Thinking she was seeing things, she rubbed her eyes but it was back again.
Some time later…
"Yes! The first stage in my plan is a complete success!" Harry declared, sampling his…erm…masterpiece.
Half a house away, Ginny was equally gleeful. "This will be yummy in our tummies!"
The duo then waved their wands, and transported their creations to the Potter dining room.
They then set out in search of their other halves.
A few minutes later…
Mrs Potter was in the dining room, and Mr Potter was approaching the room. Mrs Potter, quite unusually for her, was speechless.
"Ginny! Your house is magic – oh, hey Harry," Harry walked in, bouncing a rubber ball which Ginny had bought on their honeymoon – Harry had thought her minor obsession with the muggle toy was cute, but soon he too was taken by its bounciness.
"I had just walked into the room, pondering how hungry I was and how much I wanted a delicious full-course breakfast, when, voila! The room provided it – and double what I wished for. Talk about service!"
Harry surveyed the carnage – his beautiful masterpiece had been annihilated. Obliterated. Ginny's hand twitched dangerously, and she regained her power of speech.
"Husband. KILL!"
Grinning, Harry set the ball in the air and lobbed it over to Ginny, who smashed it at her target's head.
Despite Ginny's high level of accuracy, the ball, being mostly air, did not have the required velocity to smash her target's face. Ron's hand snaked out and caught the ball, and he regarded it with an amused air.
Ginny's first attack had been thwarted, but, as Harry said, "There's always plan B."
"Oh, gross you guys!" Ron protested, completely ignoring the fact it was their house. "Stop this unhygienic meeting of bodily fluids this instant!"
"MGRRMMFH." Came the reply.
Ron rolled his eyes, but he couldn't really protest, as they were speaking his first language.
"You know mate." Harry said, grinning as he and Ginny pulled apart.
'Finally!'
"You can't really just barge into our house anymore."
"But I do it all the time. You're my best mate – and now that you're married to my sister, I've got another reason. It's like a double family pass."
"Well Ron, you, of course, are always welcome in our home..."
Ginny nodded, and continued where Harry left off.
"However, certain circumstances can change, dear brother."
"Beautiful girlfriend becomes beautiful wife."
"You mean annoying sister moves out of house. Celebration ensues."
Harry and Ginny moved right next to Ron.
"No longer is this place the domain of the male, I am no longer one of the brotherhood of unmarried gentlemen." Harry slapped his best friend on the shoulder.
"With these rings," Ginny and Harry held up their hands. "We did wed!"
"Err…yeah….the cake was the only good thing about that day."
Harry and Ginny frowned disapprovingly at Ron's lack of wise insight – but granted, the cake was good.
"But I still don't get why you don't want me to waltz into your house."
"One day Ron, one day you'll understand." Ginny patted her brother on the head, and proceeded to walk away.
"Weird sister." Ron muttered. "Tell me straight, mate, what are you on about?"
"Well, Ginny and I have an agreement."
"Hmm?"
"Once we entered into a certain arrangement…"
"Got married?"
"Precisely." Harry answered, and then continued. "We do…certain things."
"Well I do things all the…the…." Ron flushed a sick shade of purple, then the blood rushed from his face, and he turned an off-putting shade of puce. And he didn't stop there. Soon he was a pale shade of green.
Ron bolted for the bathroom.
A few minutes later, he returned.
"You people sicken me."
"It was my duty, Ron, you had to be warned."
"I 'spose." Ron conceded. "Hey! I get to eat breakfast again! Thanks mate!"
Ron strode away, a wiser yet just as hungry individual as he was when entered the Potter house. Harry and Ginny, meanwhile, though their methods were foiled their missions were successful, but Ron, happily for him, was not to know of that at all.
