Title: A Sweet Blossoming

Title:  A Sweet Blossoming (1)

Author:  Yih

Written:  August 7/8/9, 2001

Disclaimer:  All rights of characters are exclusively Clamp. 

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1: A-hold Embrace

"I miss him," she cried to him, resting her shoulder upon his gentleness.  The few tears that she shed dampening his shirt and melting his already fragile heart.  She sighed comfortingly as he wrapped her arms around her slender form and endured the torture in the holding.  He tried to keep his body still, but it was impossible, these feelings couldn't be stopped even though they were horribly wrong.  So he moved her body against his form until there wasn't an inch of space left between the two of them.  They were stuck together as if they were meant to never be separated.  And how he looked upon this observation with a wry smile when it came to him, it was anything but happy.  It was more like accepting…

They were not meant to be together. 

He was not her true love. 

"I wish he was here with me now," she whispered achingly as she tucked her head into the hollow of his throat.  His breath caught itself as he felt her soft, pink lips brush ever so slightly against his sensitive throat.  How he wished it were he that she was referring to!  Oh, how he wished it in the veins that carried the oxygen to his heart, and gave him this miserable existance to always be the one that was forever there and never the one wanted.  It nearly crushed him, those unhopeful thoughts, but what had he to hope for when the one she missed stood in his way and had her heart?

"Nothing," he muttered to himself, as if to confirm what he already believed in the deep recess of his heart.  "Nothing at all," the last utterance was so soft only the keenest of ears could have possibly heard it, unfortunately the girl he held in his arms happened to be one of the millions that had those pairs of ears. 

"What?  Nothing?" her tone clearly voiced the confusion that his rambling had caused.  "Is something wrong?" she inquired as though she hadn't been crying her heart out to him a moment before, though he still saw the hint of tear streaks on her pale pink cheeks.  It was so very much like her to ask about how he was when it was she that was the true sufferer, the true person in torment. 

He gently caressed her face, stroking those rose-hued cheeks as if they were the finest porcelain vase to be found.  And of course they were, to him.  He wanted to be able to kiss those tears and lick them away with his tongue, but it wasn't his right to do so.  He wasn't suppose to be the one that was holding her, but he was.  So wouldn't it be okay just to kiss her this once?  He closed his eyes and held her tightly to him, his breath quickening at the very thought of his petals touching her velvety ones.  The fantasy he had was breaking out of the dream world into reality, fortunately? 

Alas, it was not to be.  For when he opened his orbs, he saw that her lips trembled as he touched them softly with the tip of a slender digit.  He wondered if it was his touch that she feared or that she knew it was wrong, shying away from it as if it were a dead corpse.  "Nothing is wrong.  I was just… daydreaming," he finally managed to answer her when he forced his breathing to return to normal.  But try as he might, the dizzying speeds of his pulse continued on their dangerous march, making him start to see things that weren't really there to begin with. 

Her green eyes so alive, so vibrant seemed to be showered with love, for him?  Her mouth seemed to whisper words so tenderly, so lovingly for his ears alone?  But he had to blink to erase those wonderful conjurings and finally was able to see that they were just his imagination.  Her eyes were slightly puffy from the rubbing she gave to try to hide the tears of sadness.  And her sweet lips had said not one word of warmth for him, for she had not spoken at all. 

"I'm sorry," she said abruptly, the weight of her face leaving the safety of his embrace.  "I do not mean to trouble you with my worries."  Yes, he knew that she did not like to trouble other people, she was more than willing to be troubled with other people's problems.  But today was different, it she was that was hurting, and it pained him to see her so tortured.  If he could have made it right in whatever way possible, he would have done so.  There just seemed to be no way, and he just wanted to kiss her as her lips pressed together quickly after being parted to speak. 

It was a temptation that was going to be his undoing, her sweet, alluring lips.  God, how he wanted to taste them just once, and perhaps it would not be as he imagined--ecstasy.  "Don't be sorry," he murmured to her, wanting to draw her nearer, but fearing what would happen if he did pull her closer, bringing himself closer to the sweet enticement.  "I'm here for you," he nearly choked as the words spilled from his mouth.  He had said too much, it was all he felt but didn't want her to know quite yet, perhaps forever.  He wished he could creep back inside himself, but it was as if he had to torture himself.  He needed to hear a response from her to what he had said. 

"Thank you," she softly said, resting her hand against his solemn face.  "I'm glad you're here for me." 

Those words, those words… brought a groan from his pale lips, they were all he wanted to hear, all that was needed to foster a new growing hope of what could be.  It was wrong, terribly wrong, but he could no longer help it.  Once those words had left her delectable lips, as soon as her hand had rested upon his cool cheek, his lips reached down to brush against her in the softest of kisses.  It was more of a brushing of flesh than a true blooded kiss, but it felt like a kiss to him. 

It fed the fire in his veins as the blood pumped from his heart at an alarming rate.  It was glorious this first kiss, he decided.  He pulled back after the merest taste of her nectar, his slender frame shuddering a bit from too much delights.  It was then as his eyes drifted away from her delicious petals that he saw the surprise in her emerald orbs, a shock that undid the sense of wonderment in that kiss.  And burned the hopes that had only just begun to flicker to life. 

"I don't know what happened," he finally said lamely, trying to explain it as if it had meant nothing to him when it had meant everything.  "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to, I just got carried away.  You were… so close." 

He was mortified after his words had finished rambling out to his doom.  And mortify was the light word to use.  He was horrified to his gut that he had confessed as much, for he seemed to not be able to contain his emotions at all today.  How was that possible when he was the hero of stoicism?  The one that stood in the face of battle as calm and as steady as a statue?  The one who never failed to not show even the tiniest glimpse of emotion?  And the one who had just spoke what was in his heart as clearly as if he were a child incapable of lying. 

"Yue..?"

The question was clearly in the faint utterance of his name.  It made him want to shiver, to show some emotion, but this was the point where he suddenly felt a coldness spread over his limbs.  His face was calm like the eye of a hurricane.  He almost wanted to berate himself for going so emotionless at a time when it was warranted.  But then again, it might save him from…from what he wanted most out of life?

"Yue..?"

"Yes, Sakura?" his lips barely kept the tremble out of them.  To say her name was pure pleasure on his tongue.  It was a joy he had tried to deny himself, but at this instant, he knew whatever ice had chilled the showing of his feelings couldn't hide the tenderness in his eyes.  He was scared that she might look upon those windows to the soul and know exactly what he felt for her.  Then again, he almost wanted her to look and see all that she meant to him. 

"Nevermind," she responded as her hand fell limply to her side, her face slowly inching away from his.  The soft caresses from her hushed breaths no longer melting the ice blocks around his heart, instead the chill returned with a ferocity to his bones. 

He yearned to ask why she didn't ask what he meant.  It ate at his soul that she wasn't interested or vaguely curious in the confession of what was in his heart.  But then again, he thought of how innocent she was, such a purity in this tainted world.  His heart went out to her for all the hardships she had to suffer as the Card Captor, the Mistress of the Clow--no the Sakura Cards.  Could he not be as brave as she?

"Sakura?" he murmured her name to his pink muscle's delight.  The simple thrill sending a tingle down his spine.  He finally had the courage to show her what he felt.  He felt he had to do it now or forever rest his affections in the shadows of the one she loved.  His breath was held as her green eyes searched into his silvery ones for why there was a thread of question in his voice.  He was always so sure of himself, so confident and now he felt like the most gauche school boy. 

"Look at me," he whispered sensually to her.  His voice so warm, it surprised him more than it did her.  For she knew he had more depths to him than even he showed to her, his Mistress.  "Look at me, Sakura," he demanded this of her more than he asked her. 

And so she looked and was astonished.  His heart was so clearly in his eyes, hanging there waiting for her to cut him down or take him in.  He trembled when she touched his lips, a tremble of pure elation.  The need was naked in those moonlight eyes, the want for her in the softness of his mouth, and so he waited for an answer.  A return of his affection, hopefully?  Or the rejection of all his dreams…

"I… can't look, Yue," she answered heartbrokenly, her hand again falling from scintillating touch upon his skin.  "I can't look for what I do not deserve." 

He nearly demanded why she thought she did not deserve what he was showing her.  But he did not.  His arms fell as if broken in a hundred different ways away from her waist.  And he looked away from her, his silvery mane shielding his eyes from the glistening of tears that had formed at the base of his eyes.  He damned himself for being the fool and risking it all.  Now, she would never--could never looked at him the same way.  

He had spoilt everything for what? 

A stupid dream that would never come true.  Never.  He knew that now. 

It was hopeless. 

Author's Note:  Yeah, this is a series.  I know I'm bad, but hey I wrote 5,000 words this week and don't feel burned out.  I'm enjoying it again!  Yes!  And I've always wanted to do a Sakura x Yue series since forever, long before Reminiscent!  Anyhow, I really love the first part, and it could stand alone for a while 'til I make up the next part because between 3 AP classes and X Country, I don't have much time to even think about writing.