Okay, this story idea's inspired by R2's pieces—but it's very different, I assure you—and, weirdly enough, by a fic I wrote for "ER"…don't ask

Okay, this story idea's inspired by R2's pieces—but it's very different, I assure you—and, weirdly enough, by a fic I wrote for "ER"…don't ask. I don't own these characters, I don't make any profit from this; I just put these here for other people to read and think about. Enjoy! : )

(Oh yeah, by the way, if you haven't seen the ep "Ralph" this will make no sense whatsoever—total spoilers—plagiarism even, but not really, 'cos I'm telling you where it's all coming from...)

Sustained Moments

"This is my grief for you / for only the loss of you / the hurting of you…" –Sinead O'Conner, "In This Heart," from her CD Universal Mother

(Did you get to say good-bye to her?)

He fell to his knees.

She was telling him good-bye. She was staring up at him with her wide blue eyes and she was telling him good-bye.

(Ralph. You grew up.)

(Don't worry. You'll catch up.)

She was handing him the key, the golden key shining in the sunlight, the key to his choice. She was holding out her hand to him, looking up at him, wanting him, expecting him, willing him to take the key. She was giving him his freedom.

(It wasn't a man…it was a monster.)

(Are you willing to put her at risk?)

He fell to his knees.

She'd come back to him. Despite the madness in his eyes, despite the fear in her wide blue eyes, she'd come back today to tell her friend good-bye. Even though she'd seen the darkness in his red eyes, the cold, cold rage bellowing forth, she had come back. He was so grateful to her for that.

(He's not a monster! He's a man!)

I'm not a monster. I'm a man.

He fell to his knees.

He'd made her laugh. She'd given him unconditional friendship. He'd saved her life. She'd accepted him as magic. He'd let her paint his face, a myriad variety of colors, a clown's face. She'd let him be her friend.

She was telling him good-bye. He watched her speak, watched her smile, her excitement build, watched the loneliness drop away from her like a shadow disappearing, and his face worked, fumbling to hold back his own emotions.

(I'm your only friend.)

(Huh. You may have a point there.)

(…and you're my only friend.)

He'd been like a child again; her innocence, her imagination and creativity, her wide smile and wide, happy blue eyes had made him feel young again, not bitter, not cynical, not angry at his situation. If only for a few moments, he'd felt happy.

So innocent…

She was telling him good-bye.

He hated good-byes.

He fell to his knees.

(Ralph!)

(That's my name; don't wear it out.)

(You're a dork.)

(Hey, tell me about it.)

She was looking up at him, chin quivering, wide blue eyes glimmering. She was holding out her hand, holding out the golden key shining in the sunlight. He would never see her again. Yeah, all the women of his life left him, but she'd trusted him, cared for him, in a way no one else had. In a way no one else could have.

And she too was leaving.

He missed her already…

(She's gotta know that Ralph's okay.)

(I think I'm gonna give you the key.)

(Good-bye Ralph.)

I trust you.

She was telling him good-bye.

He took the key.

His heart was breaking.

He fell to his knees.