Disclaimer: I do not own the potter-verse. I make no money from this story, etc, etc.
Chapter One
Once upon a time, there was a young lady of considerable beauty who was born to evil parents. Being inherently beautiful, she was also inherently good and her parents despised her for it. She was a well-kept secret among those who followed her father, who was an abominably evil wizard. When her father was forced underground, her education was taken care of by her father's followers who grilled her mercilessly in the Dark Arts, hoping that some evil would perchance sink into her soul.
When this young lady was thirteen, her father re-emerged as the century's most evil madman and she became afraid for her life. She couldn't help that she was so good and kind and she was worried that her father would have her killed. She thought long and hard of ways that she could escape her father. She settled for escaping her father's notice by throwing herself into her studies, assuming correctly that if she was doing well in the Dark Arts, her father would find no reason to kill her—yet.
At the age of sixteen, she came up with a new plan. She would convince her father that she should be at Hogwarts, School of Witchcraft and Wizardry in order to continue her studies.
"You're so busy trying to kill that Harry Potter chap," she reasoned with him, "that perhaps it would be better if I went to boarding school."
"Yes," he nodded, stroking his chin and smirking. "I certainly don't need any nuisances underfoot at this point in my career."
He suddenly stood up and began pacing.
"You will go by a different last name—Smith, perhaps?"
"Smith?" she asked, bewildered.
"Yes, Smith. Anne Smith. It's too perfect."
He rubbed his hands together and laughed maniacally.
"I guess if you want me to," she said, reluctantly.
And that was how it was decided that Anne "Smith" would be attending Hogwarts her sixth and seventh years of school.
Anne was dropped off at the Hogwarts Express by her father. For security reasons, he wore a long trench coat, a fedora, and huge sunglasses. And nobody recognized him.
"Now you listen and you listen good," he began, gripping Anne's arm and leering into her face. "You will continue the family legacy. You will act as a daughter of mine should while you are away at school."
"How's that, father?" asked Anne, gritting her teeth in pain.
"None of that behavior that you've indulged in at home, that's for certain. There will be no frolicking with bunnies and other... fuzzy animals," he hissed, the words dripping with disgust. "No singing, no skipping, and no, absolutely no, falling in love."
"Yes, father," said Anne, sighing. She was so picked on.
"And no sighing!" her father ground out between his teeth. "You're only allowed to smirk, sneer, and snicker when in the presence of others. Do I make myself clear?"
"Yes, father," sneered Anne.
"And I would appreciate it if would develop some proficiency at sarcasm while you're gone. Your blunt observations are rather tiring," he said, loosening his grip on Anne's arm.
"Yes, father," said Anne, smiling. Her father's face clouded over and he scowled at her. Quickly realizing her mistake, Anne smirked and said, "I meant, uh..." she paused and her brow crinkled in thought. "Obviously? Or something..." She trailed off lamely.
Her father rolled her eyes and roughly shoved her from him.
"Get going," he spat. "This little interlude has taken enough of my time."
Anne grinned, grabbed her trolley, and bounded to the train, her hair trailing behind her.
On the train, Anne found an empty compartment, but she decided not to sit in it. She decided to sit in a compartment with a two red heads, a black head, and a brunette. Barging in, she sat down in the seat and huffed.
"Finally! Decent human beings!" she said. "You have no idea how long I've waited to meet some of you!"
"Excuse me?" asked the brunette.
"You're not a vampire, are you?" asked the male red head.
"So, what are your names?" asked Anne ignoring them.
"I'm Ginny," volunteered the female red head, "and that git who just asked if you're a vampire is my brother, Ron, and that there's Hermione and Harry."
"It's nice to meet you all," grinned Anne from ear to ear. "I'm Anne!"
"Are you new?" asked Hermione. "I don't think I've ever seen you before."
"No, I'm Anne. And you've never seen me before because I've never been to this school. So, what do you guys do for fun around here?"
"Well, the sweet trolley'll be by in a bit," said Ron.
"No way! You guys eat sweets, too!" Anne exclaimed.
Hermione surreptitiously edged away and Harry snickered. Anne turned to stare at Harry in awe. Harry quieted and self-consciously flattened his bangs over his scar. Anne opened her mouth and Harry braced himself.
"You just snickered!" That was unexpected.
Harry mentally gave a sigh of relief. Anne immediately moved so that she was sitting next to him.
"I've been trying to learn that particular talent for ages!" she continued. "Can you teach me?"
"Oh, well, uh..." Harry eloquently stated.
He was interrupted by the compartment door opening. Luna Lovegood stepped through and sat down next to Ronald.
"A bit crowded in here, isn't it?" she murmured. "I suppose that's because of the extra Larpfunks that boarded the train when we went through the tunnel."
"Yes, Luna," said Hermione, rolling her eyes. "If only the Larpfunks hadn't come aboard."
Anne turned to look at Hermione awed again.
"That was brilliant, Hermione!" she exclaimed. "You're like, the Mistress of Sarcasm!"
Hermione raised a puzzled eyebrow, wondering if she were being pranked. Anne gasped.
"And you can raise your eyebrow, too! Father is always berating me for lacking that particular skill."
Hermione, now sufficiently weirded out, decided that she needed to use the loo and quickly exited the compartment.
"And your name is?" asked Anne, turning to Luna.
"Usually I'm Luna Lovegood, but I'm not quite myself today," replied the blonde.
"I know what you mean," nodded Anne in sympathy.
The two girls quickly became engrossed in their own conversation for the rest of the train ride.
