Dr Hanna Returns
Hello, this is the sequel to Return of Mr Jordan, set 6 years later. Nick Jordan died 3 months ago and Zoe has come back to Holby. I hope you like it. Please review!
Waking up in Nick's flat in Holby still felt strange to Zoe. She'd only been back a couple of days and today was the day she returned to Holby City's Emergency Department as Clinical Lead. Connie had moved upstairs and the job had been vacant for a few months. It seemed to be fate. That didn't stop the butterflies in Zoe's stomach, it was like her first day as a junior doctor. Standing in front of the mirror she examined how much she'd changed since she left the ED. Nick's illness had certainly aged her, lines around her eyes were much more visible now and she knew there were a few grey hairs appearing. Her fashion sense certainly hadn't changed as she'd squeezed her infamous curves into a figure hugging dress and her heels were as high as ever. Checking her appearance one final time she straightened her dress, grabbed her bag, and headed across the hardwood floors and out the door to begin the familiar commute to the ED.
"Morning!" She greeted some of the nurses as she headed in towards her office. There were so many new faces and a few she recognised. Noel was still at the helm of the Reception desk. He rushed out to welcome her back. "Welcome back Zo! How are you?"
"I'm alright thanks Noel. Miss me?"
"Of course. Drinks tonight?"
"Let's see how today goes first." She chuckled crossing the department.
Walking into that office was a surreal feeling. She had so many memories of those four walls. Many with Nick and Max. Lowering herself onto the desk chair and logging in to the computer it felt like she'd never left, especially when she noticed the pile of paperwork already waiting for her with a gift from Connie on the top.
"Morning stranger!" Charlie had popped his head around her office door.
"Charlie! How are you?"
"Shouldn't I be asking you that?"
"I'm doing alright. Thank you for coming to the funeral. It all seems so long ago now but still doesn't seem real at the same time. Now I'm back here I keep expecting to look up and see him talking to a patient."
Slipping outside for her first cigarette of the shift it felt like she'd never been away. A suited man stood in her usual smoking spot and only when he turned around did she realise who it was.
"Alright? I heard you were back." He said with a smile.
"Wow, Max, you've gone up in the world."
"Estates Manager now."
"How did you manage that?"
"You know my hard working nature…"
"Gift of the gab more like." They both laughed before Max cleared his throat and looked at his feet.
"I'm sorry, I should have called to… I couldn't make the funeral…" His voice was lowered and he couldn't make eye contact.
"Don't worry, Charlie told me."
"Zo.. Are you ok?"
"I will be. It's just strange being back here you know?"
"We've all missed you."
"I thought about you a lot, I just thought that it was best to leave you be and let you get on with your life."
"I know. I could have picked up the phone too."
"So anything new with you? Girlfriend?"
"I have a daughter." Max's face lit up with the thought but couldn't help notice a glimmer of sadness in Zoe's eyes. "It didn't work out with her mum but I see her every week."
"What's her name?"
"Amelia Alice Walker, she's 2 now." Max was bursting with pride and despite Zoe's jealousy she couldn't help but be happy for him.
"Can't wait to meet her. Anyway I should get back to work." She stubbed out her cigarette and turned to walk away. Max reached out and grabbed her hand. Her heart skipped a beat as she turned around.
"Zoe, do you fancy a drink tonight? We can catch up properly?"
"Sure." She smiled at him and headed back to work, her head suddenly spinning. She'd missed Max but she didn't realise how much she still loved him until she felt his touch again after all this time.
Her afternoon was filled with more paperwork as the position had been vacant for so long there was a lot to catch up. This gave Zoe plenty of time to mull over her conversation with Max and also her final few weeks with Nick. When it became clear that he was dying he had repeatedly apologised to Zoe for taking her away from Max. He was suddenly very aware that he was going to be leaving her on her own. They'd spoken about how things would be when he was gone and he'd made her promise that she'd be happy and that she wouldn't stay on her own out of respect for him. He didn't want that.
Nick had been ill on and off for several years but things took a serious turn about 4 months before his death. Zoe cared for him at home as best she could with the help of nurses but there came a point where he needed round clock care and was admitted to a local hospice. He had insisted that he wanted to die at home so his final week was spent in their own bed and although he was very weak it was a time that Zoe will always treasure. Privacy was limited because of the constant care he needed but he'd insisted that he wanted to make love to her one last time. She did all the work but it was the most beautiful moment they had ever shared and she knew it would stay with her for the rest of her life. He died in her arms just hours later. She had told him to let go, that it would be ok, knowing he'd been holding on and suffering all that pain for her. His last words were "Thank you" before he took his last breath.
Her eyes were glassy with unshed tears from these memories when the office door opened.
"Welcome back Dr Hanna!" Connie was caught off guard by the tear that had just escaped Zoe's eye and was cascading down her cheek. "Sorry, do you need me to come back?"
"No, no, I'm fine." She quickly brushed it away and took a deep breath. "I was just thinking about something Nick told me."
"Right, I am sorry for your loss. Nick was a wonderful surgeon and lovely man. We didn't always see eye to eye but no one should have to go through that."
"Thanks, and thank you for the flowers you sent. They were beautiful."
"If you need anything you just have to ask. Anyway, shall I introduce you to the team? Sorry I wasn't here this morning, I was tied up in meetings."
Connie marched out on the the floor, the sound her heels hitting the floor commanded the attention of the staff.
"Right can everyone gather around for a few moments?"
Like obedient dogs being called to heel, the staff of the ED quickly scurried to the nurses station and a hush fell over the department only broken by the odd cough coming from cubicles and the excited whisper of Nurse Miller, informing one of the junior nurses who was about to be introduced. Zoe smiled at the sight, some things never change she thought to herself.
"I won't keep you long. Some of you already know Dr Hanna I'm sure, but for those of you who don't she's your new Clinical Lead. It is a temporary 6 month placement to the post in order to get it filled and whether or not Dr Hanna wants it after that will be up to her." Both women exchanged a knowing smile, remembering Zoe's previous run ins with the role. "Anything you'd like to add Dr Hanna?"
"Yes, I just wanted to say I'm so happy to be back. I've been away for 6 years other than the odd visit here and there yet I've been welcomed back with open arms so thank you for that. Also I wanted to thank everyone who sent their condolences after Nick's death and those who helped us during his illness. We both really appreciated it all and I'm sure he's looking down right now keeping an eye on his precious department." Charlie chuckled and the newer staff gave him an odd look. "Charlie knew Nick as well as I did and I'd like to think he can rest peacefully knowing the department is in safe hands. So if anyone needs me my door is always open, unless I'm up to my eyes in paperwork, coffee is the way to my heart and if you can't find me I'm probably outside having a fag. I think that's all." She turned to walk away smiling to herself as those who didn't know her began whispering about the last part of her speech while her old colleagues laughed and shook their heads.
"Dr Hanna!" A junior doctor who she hadn't met yet barged into her office.
"Mmmm? Sorry two secs." She was quickly trying to finish an email.
"Major trauma case on the way in. Motorcyclist involved in a collision with a tree at speed."
"On my way. ETA?"
"2 minutes. I'm Dr Clarke by the way."
"First name?"
"Abi"
"Great Abi, I'll meet you in resus."
"This is Owen Harrison. He crashed into a tree doing about 70mph and he came off worse. GCS of 9. He's been unconscious throughout but pupils are reactive. He was wearing a helmet. Neck was immobilised at scene."
"Thanks Iain, Bay 2 please." Abi was taking control of this case until Zoe arrived. She was relieved to hear the noise of her high heels close behind her. Major trauma still scared her. She'd heard it got less nerve wracking over time but two years into working in the ED and it still broke her out in a cold sweat.
"What have we got?" Zoe called as she entered Resus.
"Zo? Blast from the past."
"We'll catch up later Iain, this guy looks like he could use my attention first."
"He's a lucky guy." Iain flirted and Zoe flashed him one of her infamous cheeky smiles.
"Dr Hanna, this is Owen, he's been involved in a collision at speed. Hit his head but was wearing a helmet. Despite that he's been unconscious since the incident and GCS is 9."
"OK, so we need to order an urgent head CT, I'd like 6 units cross matched and 3 units of O neg. All the usual bloods and the fast scanner to check for internal injuries."
"You!" Zoe shouted at a young nurse. "Can you get a line in? Sorry what's your name?" The nurse's name badge was covered by a green plastic overall.
"Staff Nurse Marcel Black."
"Thanks Marcel."
Owen was a very lucky man and eventually came round and as far as the team could see his injuries were all superficial. Once he was well enough to be moved to cubicles Zoe left him in Abi's capable hands. "You did well in there, you just need to build your confidence." She saw a lot of potential in the lovely young woman but not a lot of self belief.
"Thank you." Abi blushed. Compliments from the boss was not what she was expecting.
"I'm off to the pub." Zoe said loudly enough to let the rest of the team know.
"Some things never change." Cal chuckled. The consultant had grown up a lot in the 6 years that Zoe had been away but his cheeky retorts had not deserted him.
The pub was already busy when she arrived but she couldn't see the one person she was looking for so when Rita waved her over to her table she couldn't refuse.
"How was it then? First day back?"
"It was good, it looks like a great team we've got in there. I'm looking forward to seeing Dylan tomorrow as well. I'm so pleased he got the trauma lead post when I left."
"Yeah, he's still as unconventional as ever but he does a great job."
Rita had to head off and Zoe was about to do the same when she felt a hand on her shoulder.
"Is this seat taken?" Max asked as he sat down opposite her.
"Nope, I was saving it for you." They shared a smile and caught up on their days before the tone of the conversation changed.
"I really am sorry I didn't come to the funeral."
"Honestly it's fine, Charlie and Rita passed on your apologies. I know what it's like in this place, sometimes you just can't get away."
"You see that's the thing, it wasn't that. I just couldn't bear to see you hurting and knowing that I couldn't do anything to help you." He reached across the table and placed his hand on hers. "I still love you Zoe. I've never stopped, this whole time."
She pulled her hand away, "Max, not tonight. I can't do this now." She stood up to leave, her half full glass of wine left sitting on the table.
"Sorry, please stay, let's just talk, catch up."
"I'm really tired after today. I think I'm just going to head home and have a bath."
"Let me walk you home."
