A/N: Hey guys! I got seriously pissed off at Jay after ep S04E17, so I'm changing my shipping and trying a story about Erin Lindsay/Connor Rhodes (Chicago Med). I hope you guys give it chance. Either way, let me know if I should continue it or not. Thanks


Erin stared at her shot of whisky, moving the glass in circles on the bar. She glanced at the table where Jay, Ruzek e Atwater were sitting drinking beer. She knew every now and then Jay glanced at her but right now it felt pointless. It didn't make her hurt any less and it didn't change anything in their situation.

The last few weeks had been incredibly hard for her. First she had seen Abby sending texts to Jay and waited in vain for him to tell her what was going on. She could see him changing, leaving early in the morning to go to the gym or wherever and not going to her for support. That on itself had hurt her, to know he was hiding something.

Then she finally confronted him about it and when he told her he had been - was - married, it became clear that he had had no intention of ever telling her about it. And that hurt even more. Because he was the person she had trusted most in the world and he didn't feel he could trust her the same way.

After that he told her he was going to have drinks with Abby to sign the divorce papers when he was already on his way out to Molly's and she had no words for him, so she just shrugged. She worked overtime not wanting to go home to an empty apartment but when she finally left the district and went home she was shocked again.

It was the last straw to enter their bedroom to find him packing a bag and telling her he would stay with Will for a few days. And it felt like a knife on the back when she asked him to share his problems with her, that she could handle it, and he told her that he didn't know if she could. She couldn't believe he didn't trust her with his past when he had seen the worst from her past.

In their first week working together he learned that she had been Voight's CI, that she had worked as a hooker and had been addicted to drugs. He had met her pimp and found out she had helped to hide the body of a guy her friend had killed. She had told him about those bitches who humiliated and hurt her so much in high school. She had introduced him to her mother; her troubled mother who only dragged her down. She let him see her at her worst and she opened up and let him help her get better. And he didn't trust her enough to tell her anything about his past.

And then he just left. She had sat on their bed with such a heartache she felt physical pain. She wanted to scream, to run after him and remind him that he was the one to insist they move in together. And she had taken him seriously. He had asked to rent an apartment with her and she had offered that they pay her mortgage together; because she could see them growing old together, so why not? She felt like an idiot remembering that day when they were in the car on their way to a crime scene and she told him she was completely in love with him and he was the only person she trusted in the world. Because he obviously didn't trust her.

Instead, she opened a beer and drank staring at the black screen of the huge flat TV he had finally convinced her to put on the wall. And she cried, she cried all night long.

The following days hadn't been any better. Everyone in the district had noticed something was different between them but no one asked and since they continued to be completely professional Voight didn't have a reason to interfere either.

They had barely talked about anything other than work for a whole week and she could feel the distance between them solidifying. A few days ago it had gotten to a point she couldn't stand it anymore, so she had point blank asked him what they were. And he told her he thought it was better for them to have some time apart.

His words had made her eyes sting with unshed tears but she had held strong, nodded, and answered that she didn't believe in taking a break. That they either were together or not. And since he had decided to stay with Will for more than just a few days, him asking for a break meant to her they were over. He hadn't said anything, just stared at her with sad eyes, so she nodded again and asked him the keys to her apartment back and told him he could pick up his stuff after shift. She could see he had been surprised when he hesitated to hand her the key, but in the end he did and little after their shift ended he had been knocking on her door. She had stayed in the living room as he packed everything and less than an hour later he left with all his belongings.

So, after the last few weeks she had, she believed it was completely understandable that she wanted to sit alone at Molly's with a glass of whisky as she willed the hurt to go away.

She took another drink of her glass and noticed from the corner of her eye that Jay was stealing a glance at her again. She shook her head in disbelief. What right did he have to do that after breaking up with her the way he did.

As she emptied her glass she noticed doctor Rhodes sitting by her side.

"Hey. Erin, right?" he asked with a friendly smile.

"Yeah. And you're doctor Rhodes. I've seen you at Chicago Med."

"Connor," he offered and then pointed to her empty glass, "Tough day?"

She looked at him, "You could say that."

Rhodes waved at Herman, "Two whiskys, please," he ordered before looking at her, "I hope you don't mind."

She watched him for a moment then shook her head, "No, I was going to ask for another anyways."

Once Herman had handed their drinks she looked at him again, "So, I've heard you're dating Dr. Charles daughter."

He laughed openly, "You're quiet direct, huh?"

Erin shrugged, "Gossip travels fast and I don't see the point in beating around the bush."

He gave her a big smile, "I respect that. Actually, Dr. Robin was in Chicago on a temporary position. She got an offer and left for New York a little over a month ago and we didn't think a long distance relationship would work." He took a sip of his drink and continued, "But since we're being so straightforward… I've heard a rumor you and Halstead are not together anymore."

She gave a derisive laugh as she stared into her glass, "Gossip really does travel fast, huh?"

"I just overheard Will saying that his brother was staying with him. No one is talking," he comforted her softly.

She gave him a genuine smile and a small, "Thanks," even if she didn't believe him.

He took a breath and moved his arms trying to explain, "I just wanna know if I can buy you a drink or if it wouldn't be welcomed. I've heard you were living with Halstead and I don't want to get in the middle of anything. And it seems like a relevant question since he has been staring at me for the last five minutes," Connor told her.

She turned her head to look at Jay and sure enough he was staring at them. Erin turned back to Connor and rolled her eyes, "Don't worry about him. He left me, not the other way around, so he has no say about who buys me a drink. And since you're single I have no problem with having a drink with you." She brought her drink up to him and he clinked their glasses.

They both drank from their glasses and he smiled, "I'm glad to hear it. So, I wouldn't be making a completely fool of myself if I asked you out?"

She watched him carefully, "Me and Jay just broke up. I'm not saying no, I'm just saying… I need to take things really slow."

He looked at the hand holding her glass and slowly put his hand that was holding his glass next to hers, their knuckles touching lightly, "Slow is good."

She watched their hands as they barely touched for a couple of minutes before looking up at him, "You really are one of the good guys, huh?"

He laughed again at her odd question and she noticed that laughing and smiling came naturally and often to him.

"I'd like to think so."

She studied his profile, his pretty in an almost obvious way face, with the perfect hair, white teeth and big hands. His warms eyes, friendly smile and disarming posture. And he let her study him without protest. He didn't seem nervous like the guys she used to date before Jay would usually get. He didn't look intimated about asking a detective out and he seemed completely comfortable in his own skin.

She took his phone that was sitting next to his glass, quietly asking him to unblock it, and then started typing. "If you still want to ask me out tomorrow morning call me and I promise not to say no. Just keep in mind I need things to go incredibly slow," she told him before returning his phone.

"Okay, I'll call you tomorrow morning then," he told her with a winning grin.

She bit her bottom lip, not able to help herself at the light in his eyes and stood up, putting her jacket on, "All right, let's see. Good night doctor," she said, touching his arm and squeezing it softly.

He turned to look at her, as she was already on her way to the door, "Erin!" he called and she turned her head back, "I'll talk to you tomorrow morning. Sweet dreams."

That night Erin didn't sleep, she just kept staring at the ceiling. She kept remembering Jay staring at her and Connor and how angry he looked. She wondered if agreeing to go out with Connor had been the right decision or if it would be like cheating on Jay. She asked herself half the night if it wouldn't be better to go back on her word and tell Connor that she and Jay weren't really over and that they shouldn't go on a date. But then she remembered that Connor still had to call in the morning and maybe he wouldn't and she was worrying over nothing. She turned around more at easy and saw Jay's side of the bed, empty and cold, and decided that if Connor did call she would go out on that date; after all she wasn't the one who left and she had to start moving on.