"A life time left to wait"
By: Victoria Liu-Pearson
© All Rights Reserved
I'm holding on, I must be strong.
Never thought this day would come.
Thought your battle would be won.
But life can be cruel that way.
I'd pray that you'd some how pull through.
But the power isn't mine.
Can't turn back the hands of time.
What I'd give for one more day.
"I'm sorry to hear this has happened Vic," said Nicole giving her friend a sympathetic smile. Vickie nodded taking a deep breath as she tried to control her trembles.
"Not everything works perfectly and we just need to accept it. Mistakes will always be made," she replied leaning back against the tree trunk. Her gaze shifted to the open lake taking in the sight, but deep down her heart just isn't in it any longer. How could she have been so careless? Why was she unable to see how much he wanted it to work? Vickie couldn't even begin to understand herself now, nothing made sense and it wasn't of any use to try now.
"So, what are you going to do?" asked Georgina.
"I don't know, but one thing's for sure, I really can't stay here. Later I'll head home and pack as much as possible then see if there's an available flight any time soon to Auckland," she answered.
"Wait one second Vic. Your telling us that you'd much prefer to run away and not even consider working this out??" questioned Nicole placing her hands on hips.
"I…I…if you must know, then yes it is exactly what I want to do. There isn't anything left for Mark & I to discuss," Vickie said stubbornly. Right then Georgina cleared her throat, Nicole & Vickie looked at her, and that's when they also noticed Shane, Mark, Nicky & Kian walking over.
"Mind if we join?" Ki asked.
"Sure," Nicole replied as the lads sat down, well except for Mark that is. He shifted uncomfortably on his feet, glanced sideways at Vickie but she avoided meeting his eye.
"Vic, can I talk to you for a moment?" he asked.
"Um…yeah all right," she agreed and stood up. Immediately Nicole shot her friend a worried glance; but Vic brushed her concern away, so she & Mark walked from the others, so they wouldn't attempt to eavesdrop. He said nothing for quite some time, but Vickie understood it.
`Cos I took our love for granted.
Never thought you would leave me baby.
I'd cross the stars to see a smile on your face.
But now that you're gone I'm broken.
So how can I set you free my baby.
If yours is, a love that time can't erase.
I've only a lifetime left to wait.
They had walked quite a fair distance off and still no words spoken. Finally, though Mark turned towards her, a look of pure un-certainty in his eyes.
"Are you sure you want it to end this way? I thought about it quite seriously last night as well as most of today and…to be perfectly honest I don't think we can ignore it," he replied. Vickie threw her hands up.
"You just don't give up do you? I'm not anything like Nicole, Georgina or the rest. The past year has been a jumble of total confusion for me. It's not as thou I don't want us to have it work. But I'm not quite ready to deal with the extra weight that comes along in a very public relationship," she replied.
"Yes, and I realize that too. But we've been able to keep it concealed quite well," insisted Mark.
"I can't agree more. But Mark, surely you know we couldn't keep on playing the pretend game forever. In the end something would have given in, and all hell breaks loose." Vickie said.
"Don't make this any harder Mark. I haven't exactly enjoyed things of late. You did walk out too," she added.
"And I didn't want to, but you left me with no other choice," he answered. Vickie let out a breath trying to keep her temper under control.
"This is not what either us need. Quite obviously, this isn't going to work right now. Like I had told you the other night, we'll just need to be away and see what goes from there. I…" she stopped as fresh tears clouded her eyes; Mark too had to look away.
"I can't talk about this anymore," she said. And so, Vickie walked away as the tears spilled over, ad her heart felt even more devastated then before. Mark watched her go, caught in two minds. For the first time he felt truly alone without anyone to talk to. Sure, there is his family and friends, but they'll probably say the exact same thing, he need to get over it.
Wish I could share.
How much I care.
And all the words I never said.
I only hope you know. I promise to remember you.
Always keeps you in my heart.
Though for now we are apart, I'll never let you go.
Mark sat down on the grass as he re-thought everything. Truth is, he loved her, and the sudden realization they wouldn't be together now was even worse. Glancing up at the sky he sighed,
"Why us? Why can't we be left alone?" Vickie got to her car and pulled out the keys, but she didn't know what she wanted to do. In some ways she wanted to go back and tell him, she'd make a bad mistake because she believed they had plenty of chances. If you love somebody, you would do all possible to keep him or her.
"I'm sorry Mark, I really am," she answered, closed her eyes taking a breath in then un-locked the car and got in. But as she started the engine, she saw Mark coming into view, and the look on his face said everything. Vickie gulped, the horrid guilty feeling swept through her. Trying to ignore this, she backed the car away and drove off. Once she got home and parked the car in the garage then headed upstairs to her apartment. She wiped the tears from her cheeks and in haled deeply hoping to feel as comfortable as she could manage. Vickie called up the nearest travel agent to arrange a flight home. Despite how much she loved being in Sligo, she just felt it was time to gather herself.
"Yes, there is an early flight tomorrow morning at 7:50am. I'll do all the immediate work and before closing time you can drop by to pick up your ticket," said the woman.
"Ok thanks a lot bye," Vickie put the phone down and went to her room to start packing.
`Cos I took our love for granted.
Never thought you would leave me baby.
I'd cross the stars to see a smile on your face.
But now that you're gone I'm broken.
So how can I set you free my baby.
If yours is a love, time can't erase.
I've only a lifetime left to wait.
Midway through packing her clothes, Vickie lay down on her stomach on the bed. She thought about what she is doing. This really didn't make a lot of sense because she would usually try to find ways to solve problems. Now, this being so personal she was not able to. Vickie looked across the room to where her desk was and her eyes caught sight of two photographs placed on either side of the computer's speakers. Before her eyes could focus properly, on the photos, tears came back and a sob escaped her throat. It was clearly obvious to her now no matter what she'd do in life it could never compare to what `used' to exist.
"There's got to be a way. Some how, I want to get past this whole misery…we have to," she said aloud. She got up from the bed and went to her study desk; opening the bottom right-hand drawer and took out a refill pad, grabbed a pen and Vickie settled back on her bed, chewed thoughtfully as she considered long and hard what she needed and wanted to say. While she did this, Mark had driven home to the silence of his house. Boy, didn't it feel hugely different now, almost awkward silence. He walked to the lounge and fell onto the couch, staring blankly at the ceiling. Thinking back, he re-called all the fun times they'd had; be it staying at home or out during the days and nights. It all was just so unfair to have it all end like this and so suddenly too. With all these memories running through his head, eventually Mark grew exhausted and fell asleep still thinking about Vickie and it wouldn't be the last time either.
Half an hour later…
Vickie was astounded at the vast amount she'd written. It seemed like all of her words and flowed out as she wrote. Sometimes she even surprised herself but this time it definitely caught her off guard.
"That's it," she said with a sigh. She folded the pages and returned to her desk to get an envelope and stamp. Once it had been sealed Vickie resumed the packing; stopping again when she opened the wardrobe and saw a familiar black satin dress hanging with all her other clothes. She reached in and took it out, running her hand over the smooth silky material.
Flashback Friday October 24th 2002…
"What a party!" yelled Nicole above the noise.
"Yeah, it's grand that's for sure," agreed Vickie as the two of them went to get a drink at the bar.
"Erg, this dress is getting on my nerves!" she mumbled continuously tugging at it.
"Would you stop it already? Keep doing that and you'll destroy the dress," scowled Nicole.
"I can't help it! I'm not used to wearing dresses or skirts you know that. How in the world I let you convince me into wearing this I'll never know," Vickie replied.
"You know you love me for it too," teased Nic, they laughed and mischievously Vickie shoved her mate away.
"What can I get you?" asked the bartender. Vickie told him their orders; Nicole scanned the crowd of people looking for any hopeful sign of the guy she'd met at `Out House' last Friday. He did say he was coming to `Shadows' this week with four good friends.
"Here," interrupted Vickie nudging her friend.
"Thanks. Hey, do you want to come for another walk?"
"Nah it's ok. I figure you'll need to be alone as soon as this mystery guy turns up,"
"Shut up!" Nicole laughed. She took her drink and headed off leaving Vickie at the bar.
"What a day!" somebody exclaimed as they dropped down into the seat next to her. Vic turned in her seat towards the young man.
"We all have hectic days aye?" she replied, he looked at her and for a split second or two no words came from the man's mouth.
"Oh. Guess I'd better keep quiet then," she added.
"No! No there's no need. I…I just hadn't expected anyone to answer but I'm glad you did." He said smiling. She laughed shyly just as was her nature.
End of flash back
She recalled that memory like it was yesterday. She wasn't into people whom only looked to use others for the sake of fun but some how Mark just got her there and then. Of course, fortune does tend to favor the brave as it had done on that very occasion.
See, I took our love for granted.
Never thought you would leave me baby.
I'd cross the stars to see a smile on your face.
But now that your gone I'm broken.
So how can I set you free my baby.
If yours is, a love time can't erase.
I've only a lifetime left to wait.
Early the next morning Vickie got up around 4am to finalize her packing. She had already picked up the ticket and spoke to a storage company about all of her stuff. Therefore, for the time being she didn't have any further worries. She had also gone `round to Mark's house to drop off her long letter. Vic took her bags out to the front door and as she placed them on the floor, a knock came.
"Who is it?" she called, a little confused as to why anybody would be here especially at such a forsaken hour.
"Me," replied Mark, Vic froze in her spot. Cautiously she un-locked the door and pulled it open slightly. There stood Mark, looking terribly scruffy in his clothes from yesterday his eyes showing obvious signs from lack of sleep.
"Mark, what are you doing here? You should be at home resting. There isn't much more you and I need to say." She answered.
"You set all of this up didn't you?" he demanded suddenly.
"What? Don't be ridiculous! I can't believe you're being this stubborn. Now if you'll excuse me I have to get my other bags," she added turning away from Mark and hurried back upstairs to her bedroom. When she got there, Vickie took one last look around before picking up her last bag; but completely over come with sadness and broke down in tears. Mark, whom was in the living room at the time, heard her cries.
"Vic?" he called up the stairs. Worried, he went up to see if everything was all right. He got to her bedroom, looked in and there was Vickie standing off to the side closest to her wardrobe one hand still clutching her bag, her other hand covering her face.
"Vic what's wrong?" asked Mark moving to her side. He removed the hand covering her face he saw just how upset she was.
"I'm sorry," she said.
"Oh don't worry about that now. Maybe you are right and the timing isn't right just yet. All good things take time we know that," he replied.
"I know. It's…just…what if it doesn't-"
"No don't say it." He remarked shaking his head. Vickie managed a half-hearted smile.
"Thank you." Mark nodded giving her hug.
"No problem. So, shall we get moving? You wouldn't want to miss the flight," he added and she agreed. He took the bag from her and headed out of the room with Vickie following in silence.
`Cos I took our love for granted
Never thought you would leave me baby.
I'd cross the stars to see a smile on your face
But now that you're gone I'm broken
So how can I set you free my baby
If yours is a love time can't erase.
I've only a lifetime left to wait.
Mark stopped his car outside the front entrance of the departure gate; neither he nor Vickie made any inclination to move.
"Vic-"
"Don't Mark. I'm already having a hard time trying to deal with this." She said cutting him off immediately.
"How long?" he faced her.
"I don't know and that's the truth," she said. Undoubtedly, she didn't like to say those words because she had some strong feeling it may never happen again.
"Time will tell I know for sure as you do. It could be a couple of weeks, months nobody. But we can't let it go to waste," she added he nodded with a smile.
"Definitely not. Look Vic just…just look after yourself all right?" asked Mark.
"Hey, you won't have anything to worry. I'm good as gold." Vic replied confidently. Mark raised his eyebrows skeptically trying to hide his mischievous smile; Vickie glanced away, preferring to turn her attention to the scene outside.
"You know, I'm really going to miss this. I've had such a great time here. From the very first day Nicole and I moved here," she said. Mark noted the sympathetic tone in her voice; he had to hold himself back from asking her to say. Instead, he chose to do what he could to reassure.
"If I were you Vic I wouldn't get too concerned. We'll come by to see you and vice versa." He replied, gazing towards her she left her gaze on the activity.
`Cos I took our love for granted
Never thought you would leave me baby.
I'd cross the stars to see a smile on your face
But now that you're gone I'm broken
So how can I set you free my baby
If yours is a love time can't erase.
I've only a lifetime left to wait.
"Vic?" probed Mark gently; he placed his hand onto of hers to bring her out of her little revelry. Immediately she came back to attention; Vickie turned to face him. They said nothing all they had wanted to say had already been spoken. As Mark was about to speak a loud beep erupted from behind. Mark and Vickie looked back over their shoulders and saw a car flashing its headlights at them.
"Impatient buggers," he grunted un-buckling his seatbelt and getting out. Vic bit back on tongue and follow suit. She found a trolley while Mark un-loaded the bags; soon they went through the sliding glass door into the airport's check-in lounge. Infront of them was a long line check-in counter for the variety of airplanes. To keep everything under control on the busiest of days, barricades of rope would be set up as a form of maintenance to keep it all in order. Off on either side were small shops, foreign exchange counters and seats.
"Ok, so which counter is it?" Mark mumbled. He saw the list of all flights on the TV display. Just as he headed towards it, Vickie stepped up to stop him.
"Actually, I think I should do this alone. Its…it's already difficult enough," she remarked.
"I know. But if you're sure…that is. I…" Mark hesitated.
"Trust me." She answered; he nodded in agreement bringing his hand up to her face lightly brushing it across her cheek. Vickie struggled to keep her emotions in check as a flood of memories came and went through her mind. She blinked fresh tears away finding the words to say.
"Mark… don't please. We really should just make it easier. For both our sakes go…please?" her voice cracked with each passing second.
"Ok. Your right." He said although his hand remained against her cheek, but then; he quickly leaned over and kissed her. Drawing away, they gazed at each other the sadness written in their eyes.
"Bye." She replied
"Bye," With that Mark slowly backed off still looking at her. In fact, he backed up so far he ended up bumping into a pot plant. That had certainly caught him by surprise; Vickie cracked up laughing, he broke into a smile too but turned serious once again. He silence didn't feel bad despite their parting. At last, they were able to tear their eyes from one another; Mark raised his hand waving goodbye; Vic returned to gesture and watched as he walked out through the sliding door.
"In a lifetime," she said quietly, and a tear rolled down her cheek.
`Cos I took our love for granted
Never thought you would leave me baby.
I'd cross the stars to see a smile on your face
But now that you're gone I'm broken
So how can I set you free my baby
If yours is a love time can't erase.
I've only a lifetime left to wait.
End.
Song: 'A lifetime left to wait' is by singer K'Lee
