NOTE: As long as you've played past the second Full Moon Mission, this abridged series is spoiler free. Well, for the most part anyway.
Time never waits, it delivers us equally to the same end, blah blah safeguard ch the future blah blah blah however limited blah blah one year go forth without falter blah blah blah let's just get on with the game.
I wanna see the butterfly again!
It's a pitch black night in the place I've just moved to. Yet the city is bustling with people and technology. As I walk down the streets I'm listening to music on my music player with my hands in my pockets, like I have for all my life.
Oh right, my name. I'm Minato Arisato. I used to live in a mansion with my parents in a town called Pingasville, where everyone strives for a prrroomotion! Sometime around 1999 they were set on fire by a washing machine and both died from an epileptic seizure. So in the present day of 2009, I'm moving to Iwatodi, a small island in Japan, where I will live in a dormitory and go to school. Unfortunately, on my way up here, Darth Vader, Freiza and Ganondorf showed up and killed me. My story is 100% true.
So now I'm on the train and... oh hey the butterfly again! Oh, now it's gone! Hey, there it is agai-crap it's gone! As I get off the train I catch up to the dorm, I look at my map. The dorm should be just a few blocks away. I actually don't think I needed a map in the end because I just had to walk straight, catch a train and then walk straight some more. But when I get off I'm surrounded by coffins. Holy shit, I'm high.
"Bonjour! Bienvenue en France!" I hear this little boy in striped pyjamas welcome me as I walk into the dorm.
"Um… hi?"
"Vous êtes en retard. J'ai attendu longtemps pour vous. Maintenant, si vous voulez continuer, s'il vous plaît signer votre nom ici."
"Ah… crap, I don't speak French. Are you gonna translate this at the end of the chapter?"
"Just kidding, I speak English. Anyways, sign the contract please."
I look at the contract that appeared on the desk when he snapped his fingers. "I, Minato Arisato, will accept full responsibility for—whatever this is getting boring. I just wanna play the game."
"No one can escape time."
"Actually I can, I can just skip the cutscenes. But I wanna play through the game properly so…"
"Whatever." He disappeared along with the contract. "And so it begins…"
"And so it begins?" I ask the air. "What are you, that lady from Fable? Actually, she says and so our story begins, but… it's the same thing really."
"Who's there!?"
"SHIT!" I shout startled, then I turn around to find a serial killer. She goes for her gun and tries to shoot me. "Wait, don't kill me! All I've gotten to do so far is enter in my name!"
"Takeba, wait!" I hear someone else call in the distance. Suddenly everything returns to normal.
"That was freaky." I remark.
"I didn't think you'd arrive so late. My name is Mitsuru Kirijo. I'm one of the students who live in this dorm."
"Mitsuru? But the dialogue box says your name is Redhead."
"Who's he?"
"Your name is Burnette, right? Unless the wonderful dialogue box has lied to me once again."
"He's a transfer student. It was a last minute decision to assign him here. He'll eventually be moved to a room in the boy's dorm."
"Is it okay for him to be here?"
"Nope. Imma perv on you. Life is short, let's make the most of it."
"This is Yukari Takeba. She'll be a junior this spring, just like you."
Of course, the dialogue box is just naming people by the colour of their hair! Liar! I think to myself.
"Hey."
"Question: why do you have a gun? And why the hell did you try to shoot me?"
"Huh? Well, it's sorta like a hobby…"
"So, you're a serial killer then."
"Well, not a hobby but…"
"One way or another, you're a psychotic bitch."
"You know how it is these days, it's for self defense." Mitsuru answered for Yukari.
"Sure it is."
"It's not a real gun, of course."
"Sure it is."
"It's getting late, so you should get some rest. Your room is on the second floor at the end of the hallway. Your things should already be there."
"Oh, I'll be staying wide awake tonight…" I hint. "On second thought, I am pretty tired. I'll just go to sleep then."
"Oh, I'll show you the way. Follow me." Yukari offers me.
She's gonna shoot me. I think to myself as I walk with her up to my room.
We walk slow as hell to the room, and I'm wondering to myself why in the world mine had to be at the very end of the hall. Let's not forget the fact that I'll have to walk this far until I'm moved to the other dorm! Finally, we make it.
"This is it… pretty easy to remember, huh? Since it's at the end of the hallway."
"It's easy to remember, bloody hard to get to."
"Oh yeah, make sure you don't lose your key, or you'll never hear the end of it."
"Speaking of keys, can I use mine to open the door and go to bed now? I really wanna sleep."
"So, any questions?"
"Yeah, I have one. You saw how the moon turned green right? And, the moon is made out of cheese? Does that mean the moon has gone mouldy?"
Yukari looked at me like an idiot. "Good night." She walked away, then halfway she stopped. "I'm sure you have more important questions, but let's save them for later."
"That is an important question though! If the moon went mouldy, does that mean you can't land on it anymore? All cheese goes mouldy you know!" She left. Ah well, I should worry about the moon later and go to bed.
