Chapter 1

My name... well? It's Phillip J Fry now.

Either I pissed off God or Q is real and looking for a new chew toy.

So... Here I am, in Panucci's pizza parlour, in New York, December 1999...

Which was nearly twenty years ago, by the way.

Waiting for the old man to give me the delivery that will define my life.

"Yo, Fry," speak of the Devil and he shall appear, "pizza going out."

"Got it," I said before he could yell at me, I scooped up the box and slipped out.

I unlocked my bike and headed out into the late night traffic.


For the city that never sleeps, it's pretty quiet, little traffic.

Speaking of, I stop by some traffic lights and a cab pulls up.

"Hey Michelle," my so called 'girlfriend' blinks and stares at me through the window, I grin as I note the arm around her shoulders, "another new guy? seriously that's, what? the fourth this week?"

I'm howling with laughter inside as the arm withdraws and the serial cheater looks at him in horror, "did you really think I wouldn't notice? Consider yourself dumped, well if you can be dumped seeing as you don't commit. Anyway, Happy New Year."

I'm laughing as I ride off, I've wanted to do that for about a month, but that couldn't have been timed better.


At about quarter to twelve, I arrive at the skyscraper that is destined to be the only building in Mainland New York to survive the next thousand years on the surface.

I chain up my bike, knowing it'll be gone within five minutes. Hell, this is why I never bought a decent one.

I exit the lift on the sixty fourth floor, I check the address.

"Room 405," I read, I spied the door with applied cryogenics on, I entered to find the room empty.

Nibbler's here somewhere though.

I wipe away the frost on one of the chambers to see a man inside.

"This is the place," I say under my breath, "Hello!" I shouted, "Pizza delivery for..." I check the note again.

"I.C. Weiner?" seriously, Panucci should know by now which are prank calls, "Crud."

I set the pizza down on the desk and settle into the nearby chair, "Seriously, I should be the one making prank calls," I complained as I opened a beer.

Euuch! give me a good bitter any day, what the yanks call beer is lager everywhere else.

I glance out the window to see the electronic billboard next door light up, I raise my can in toast, "Here's to another lousy millennium."

I take a draft as the countdown continues, leaning back on the chair.

Idly, I wonder if things will be better in the future.

I take another draft but over balance, one second I'm hanging in mid air, the next my eyes are spinning and I'm in one of the caskets.

"What the Deuce?!" I shouted as I stood up.

The door is shut.

"Huh... Huh... HUH?" I uttered then everything went white.


Then the colour came back.

the casket opened and I stretched.

"I needed that," I then scratched my arse as I walked towards the door but something caught my eye as I passed the window.

I could only stare in wonder.

It was like someone took a nineteen thirties idea of the future, mixed it with Coruscant from the Phantom Menace and applied a technicolour palette form a kid's cartoon.

"I... I'm in the future?" I gasped.

"My friends.. my coworkers.. my family? They're all gone!" I realised, then it hit just how crappy my life had actually been. "WhaHoo!"