A/N: This is my first attempt at a fan fiction, so I'm not 100 percent sure that I'm doing this right, so bear with me please. This story is meant to show a Twilight universe with a little more depth, and a little more insight into characters. This is an Edward/Bella story, but he wont show up for a while, except in a couple flashbacks. Here we go.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Twilight, or the song lyrics that precede the chapter.
Chapter one: Waking up
Why does the sun go on shining?
Why does the sea rush to shore?
Don't they know, it's the end of the world
'Cause you don't love me anymore
Why do the birds go on singing?
Why do the stars glow above?
Don't they know, it's the end of the world
It ended when I lost your love
I wake up in the morning and I wonder
Why everything's the same as it was
I can't understand, no I can't understand
How life goes on the way it does
Why does my heart go on beating?
Why do these eyes of mine cry?
Don't they know, it's the end of the world
It ended when you said goodbye.
-End of the World by Skeeter Davis
"Bella, I don't want you to come with me"
"You...don't...want me?"
"Time heals all wounds for your kind"
"I don't want you"
"You don't belong"
"This will be the last time you see me"
September
Oct-
"Enough!' Bella shouted the words into the empty room. She was laying in her bed staring into the vast emptiness of her ceiling, just as she had been for the past month. One month since she was abandoned by the one person she loved more than anything. One month since the thing she thought would never happen, had happened and her world had imploded. Time stood still, and it felt like all the air inside of her was gone. She had let the empty feeling consume her, going completely numb. Practically catatonic. She quickly found that feeling nothing was better than letting the pain in. Poor Charlie. He'd tried to get her to eat those first few days; begged and threatened even. He finally pulled out the big guns, telling her that if she didn't eat something she would end up in the hospital. She couldn't let that happen, so she's taken to eating the absolute bare minimum.
She stretched her legs out under the covers and took a deep breath. It all might not have been so bad, so completely earth shattering, if it had just been Edward who left. But she also lost Alice, her best friend. Emmett and Jasper, the big brothers she'd never had. Esme, the kind, nurturing, protective substitute mother who'd shown her how the roles were supposed to go. Carlisle, who had been such a wise, guiding force in her life. And Rosalie, if for no other reason than because she was a part of the family, and Bella had accepted the family all together, as a unit. They were her family as much as Charlie, even in the short time she'd known them and he took them all away. How could he do that? Did he not know how important they all were to her? How much she needed them? Did he not care? The tiny voice of hope in her head that told her that he must love her, on some level, was constantly doing battle with the facts and it made her want to curl up and forget everything.
But that had to end, and she knew it. This was beyond pathetic. Life didn't end because someone was sad. The pain in her chest didn't have to define her. It wouldn't define her; she wouldn't let it. When she was a little girl she was bullied by some of the kids at her school, to the point that she didn't want to leave the house. Her mother, in a rare moment of maternal instinct, made her stand in front of a mirror and list all of her good qualities. She'd thought it was completely ridiculous, but she'd done it, and surprisingly it helped. It was something she turned to sometimes when she felt like she couldn't handle what was happening around her. It grounded her, while simultaneously boosting her sense of self-worth. She never lied to the mirror, and the mirror never lied back. She walked over to her mirror and took a long look at herself.
"Well, you look like a zombie", she said to her reflection, taking in her appearance for the first time in days. Her hair was stringy and tangled, her eyes had big bags under them; all in all, she looked just as bad as she felt. Still, she had a mission.
"I am Isabella Marie Swan. I have brown eyes." A small smile managed to escape her lips. "Pretty brown eyes. My eyes really are my best feature. I make all A's at school. I love to read. I know, truly know, how it feels to be in love". As her eyes filled with tears and her voice started to break at the last sentence she decided that would have to do. Time to start getting on. 'What day is it? What timeā¦' She checked her phone, scolding herself again for being so wrapped up in herself. 'Sunday. 5:30am'. Perfect! Charlie would sleep in until at least 7:30 on a Sunday, so she got to work.
First, she took a shower, spending longer than was necessary letting the warm water wash over her, trying in vain to literally cleanse herself of the past. After she dried and dressed, she started a load of laundry and got started on breakfast. She decided that it was a good way to start apologizing for how she'd been acting.
Charlie awoke to the smell of pancakes, bacon and coffee. The peaceful feeling quickly turned to one of hope as he realized where the smell must be coming from. Watching her this past month was killing him. He was starting to get desperate. He was even considering sending her back to her mother, but he was saving that for a last resort. He just got her back. He wasn't ready to let her go. The first thing he saw when he walked into the kitchen was his daughter flipping a pancake while absentmindedly humming a song he'd never heard before. She still looked tired, but she had showered and changed her clothes. This was a good sign.
"Morning Bells", he started.
"Morning dad," she replied with a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes, but was still genuine. "Hungry?"
"Starving". And then, the best thing he'd seen in weeks happened. She set two plates of food on the table. He couldn't help it, he almost wanted to cry, but he settled for pulling her into a tight hug. It was brief, but sincere, almost desperate, and the significance wasn't lost on Bella.
"I'm sorry Dad"
"It's ok. I just want you to be ok".
Two servings of breakfast and three loads of laundry later, Bella heaved a sigh. Maybe if she washed every piece of clothing in the house and completely reorganized her room, she could remove the memories from her mind. She looked at the clock and realized that even with all the cleaning she'd done, it was still only eleven am. She decided to catch up on some school work. She hadn't let herself fall too far behind, thankfully. She was just getting a head start on an essay for English when she heard a knock on the door.
"Bella," Charlie's voice carried up the stairs. "Jacobs here to see you!"
