One day, Harry Mason got a letter from the President to investigate a local town that was tied with some disappearances and zombie aliens, for the President felt he could trust Harry Mason, for he was such a man's man. When Harry got the letter in the mail, he bolted for his room and opened the secret entrance to his underground lair, the Hair Cave. He ripped his shirt off and threw the key into the hovercraft jet invisibile boatmobile, all before young little Cheryl came down the steps, holding a teddy and rubbing her SLEEPY EYES.
"DADDY I'M TIRED WHAT WE DOING," she said in her child voice.
"NOTHING, DAUGHTER," yelled the man of action. He lifted her up by the neck and threw her into the hovercraft thing, jetting off from the bottom of the cliff his mansion resided on to travel the planet in order to find this "local town." When he had reached it, he drove the hovercraft into a fire truck, setting it ablaze and bursting through the flames, holding little Cheryl on his shoulder and standing his ground to look about.
THE TOWN WAS BLURRY AND FOGGY AND GREY, and Harry could not see his aim in this goshdang place. He searched the ground with his laser eye vision eyes and found a flashlight buried forty miles beneath the surface of the town. He drew his arm back before whiplashing it against the ground and causing a great tremor to split the ground. The divide had been deep enough for Harry to jump down and fetch the flashlight, along with a purple-masked Spaniard selling mysterious items.
"WELLLCOME," said the mysterious mystery man. "WE GOT PLENTY OF I'EMS, STRAAAANGAAAHHHHHH"
"I AM LOOKING FOR SOMETHING THAT WILL REPLACE FETCH QUESTS," screamed the hairy man. "THEY ARE TROUBLESOME AND ANNOYING"
"WHAT'RE YA BOYIINNNNN'?!!!!!" The mysterious merchant man yanked a radio out from his merchant pants and shoved it towards Harry. He then flew away on the back of a dragon.
"OH NO," Harry exscreamed.
Harry had flown back up to the top of the chasm, only to find that Cheryl had been kidpanned. Harry saw a note where he had left her, and it read
Mom
Why doesn't u Wake up?
Harry clenched the note in his man fist. He body shook with sadness and despair, tears forming in his eyes and slowly sliding down his Harry Mason face. He threw the note onto the ground, dropped onto his knees, and threw his hands into the air.
"LLLUUUUIIIIISSSSSSSS!!!!!"
Harry Mason was no longer a man of action.
