A/N: This is my first attempted at a Sherlock fic so that being said there will be OOC moments for all cannon characters involved. I do not own Sherlock nor any character associated with Sherlock this is purely for my own and your entertainment I make no money off of this work of fiction and sick twisted fantasy. The only characters I "own" are Leola and Amelia.
There is no slash so for all of you who saw the Sherlock/Morarity as characters sorry to dissapoint you but it's not slash. Pairings are:
Leola/Sherlock
Past: Leola/Moriarty
Amelia (OC)/John

This is post Fall and it follows Leola around as she's not really living anymore she goes through the motions but she isn't living. She's livingh the past so I hope you'll all be able to follow this it's the first time I'm attempting this kind of fiction. There isn't anything supernatural (though I did think about it) nor is there anything fantasy like so this is very different for me so I hope you all like this and please reviews are a wonderful thing :)

Since I enjoy music of all types I'm putting here that each chapter title will be associated with a song this first one is associated with Evanescenes Lithium which to me is a hauntingly beautiful song. If you haven't heard it I strong stuggest youtubing it. Thank you and please be gentle with reviews. ^_^

~Winter

Chapter One: Lithium

Leola starred at the tombstone before her with the white lettering of Sherlock Holmes on it. She stood in silence as she just starred at it not knowing what to do or say she walked up to it placing her shaking gloved hand on the cold stone. She could remember that day it happened, they day they both fell and the day she herself died. She'd not spoken a word since then, everyone thought she'd gone mute but she wasn't she only chose not to speak she couldn't bring herself to or else she'd fall a part and that is the last thing she wanted anyone to see.

Her curly red hair was blowing in the wind as her green eyes were blood shot from a combonation from lack of sleep and crying. She wrapped her long black jacket around her tighly as she looked up letting a couple of stray tears from from her eyes.

"Please," she said barily above a whisper. "don't be dead. I wasn't lying when I told you I couldn't lose you both." She told his headstone as she looked back down and knelt as she could feel herself losing her balance. She covered her mouth to not let out the sob she wanted to let out.

"Leola." She could hear the sound of John's voice call out to her as he approched her. He'd left nearly four hours ago to give her the privacy she needed with the departed. "You should go home it's going to be dark soon." He told her as he put a hand on her shoulder. He could see that she wasn't all there, more like she was half aware of what was going on around her.

Leola got up and turned around looking up at John forcing a smile and she nodded walking away slowly from the tombstone. She took one more look behind her hoping against everything she'd see him there grinning ear to ear like when he was right. She wanted to see him again so badly, those blue eyes, his curly hair she couldn't stand and most of all that look he had on his face of confidence. He gave her the confidence that he stripped from her and made her realize that she was someone of high caliber and should show it. She smiled softly envisioning him standing behind his own tombstone with his arms open for her to jump into for relife and most of all comfort from the worry and misery he'd put her though.

Misery that's all too fimilar for you isn't it? She thought to herself bitterly as John guided her to the car that her older sister was driving. She looked at her sister for a moment. Amelia had long strawberry blonde hair and vibrant blue eyes, she was taller than her and John for that matter standing at five foot seven inches, while Leola stood at a mere five foot four inches. Her face was unreadable to most but Leola knew she was worried about her but Leola gave her a reassuring smile that she'd be ok.

He looked on from the dense treeline as he saw her broken and quietly cursed himself for not being able to do anything. He had to make sure they'd all be safe though. He couldn't just come back from the dead and it'd be business as usual. He had to wait and make sure no harm would come to any of the people he cherished most, especially Leola. She was his heart and if he was still alive somehow he'd go after her again the moment he was able to do so just to finish it, the final problem.

Amelia sighed. "You going back home then Leola?" She asked her little sister who looked like a broken doll. Her face was pale but streaked with dry tears, her eyes blood shot and her movements shakey. Her whole body silghtly shook just sitting there in the car as she drove towards Baker St. She knew she'd likely never leave that place not just because of mother, but because that's where she felt most complete.

Leola sighed looking out the window watching the people pass by as they drove past them. She some some fimilar faces as they drove passed them but no one of noticiable mentioning. Everything seemed so surreal and at the same time it felt like a nightmare. Leola didn't know how much time passed but before she knew it Amelia was opening the door for her.

"Your destination." She told her waiting for her to come out of the car. "I'll be by more often to make sure you're doing well and such." She told her.

Leola looked over at John and smiled sadly. "Thank you." She whispered hot tears welling in her eyes. "You're both welcomed whenever you'd like to come out." She said as she got out of the car and went inside 221 B Baker St.

Amelia closed the door as John opened his own and leaned on the car. "Is she going to be alright?" John asked Amelia with a bit of worry in his voice.

She looked over at John and sighed. "Honestly, I don't know. I've only ever seen her like this one time before and trust me that was not a good time. She went into the military shortly after that, she had to escape him or else she'd have likely died by his hands. She'd have never met Sherlock." She said to him. "He brought her back to life John. The first time I saw them together I thought for the first time in years that she finally found someone she could depend on for anything and everything. They fit together so well, similar yet different." She said opening the drivers side door to get back in. "We should go home you can stay with me for awhile I know it's hard for you to just be here."

~~~~~~~~~~

Leola walked into the second floor flat, she hadn't moved anything all of Sherlock's things were still out but John's belongings she had packed up for him and Amelia had moved it to her own place where he had been staying. She was happy for John and her sister they fit well together and she knew that Amelia would be able to help John through this but she had to deal and cope with this on her own. She never let anyone close to her after her relationship with James ended, but then she met Sherlock and everything changed.

She walked over the the mantle and looked at the framed picture of herself and Sherlock caught in a candid moment of him wrapping his arms around her smaller frame and their foreheads were touching, from the background she could tell it was during Christmas when they thought no one was looking he had given her something very simple but also something very important to her and she still held it close to her to this very day. She touched the silver chain that hung around her neck gingerly and walked away from the mantle.

Too many memories for her to deal with at one time. She could still remember that day when she raced up to the rooftop of St. Bart's after getting a text from Sherlock. It was a rather simple text: St Barts. Roof. SH. They'd meet there often when she was working for lunch or a break. She was able to make her own hours as there were strings being pulled she wasn't aware of until much later allowing her to gallavant off with Sherlock and John. She smiled as she opened the door to their bedroom. She placed false hope and wish he'd be there laying down, shirt off, sleep pants on just waiting for her to return. She wished that if that were the case that she'd be able to feel his warm arms wrap around her and give her that feeling of being safe, however, as she opened the door she was not surprised to see that the room was empty.

She undressed and put on an oversized tee-shirt and a pair of shorts before she crawled into their bed, she breathed deeply and could still smell him as if he were right there. Her eyes welled with hot tears and she let it out. She sobbed until she fell asleep but even in sleep she couldn't escape her memories.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She raced up to the door leading to the roof of St. Bart's after getting his message. She knew that something was going to happen as she was always the one to beckon him to come see her but it was the other way around and it just felt wrong. Everything since James showed back up went from wrong to worse and she felt she was to blame for all this.

"Damnit!" She cursed as she opened the door to see James and Sherlock exchanging words. They were so close to each other she couldn't hear exactly what they were saying. Everytime she saw James she felt the fear come back to grip her but not this time. She couldn't afford to falter this time.

"James." She called out to him as she saw him start to move away from Sherlock.

His dark eyes focused on her. "What is it, Leola? Can't you see Daddy's working?" He asked her in a demoralizing fasion as he walked over to her and looked down at her. He lightly gripped her chin in his hand. He grinned feeling the fear raidating off of her. It's something he'd always loved about her was that the fear she held towards him was her way of saying something to him everytime as it wasn't he same kind of feeling everytime. This had a message of some kind and he leaned into to her to the point where his lips were lightly bushing up against her own. He never shifted eyes contact.

Leola was in shock she couldn't help but gasp as James closed in on her and when his eyes bore into her own she had to marvel at him. He in his own way was something of an art modled for maddness and she fell into his trap just about everytime. Her eyes glazed over slightly as her pupils dilated but then she felt his lips bush against hers ever so slightly.

"Beg me." He told her his own eyes dialiating and glazing over. "Beg me to stop this maddness. Beg me to let him and everyone else go." He paushed. "Then beg me to forgive you for your betrayl." He told her as she could feel him grip the back of her hair. "Beg me Leola. I want to hear you SCREAM!" He yelled as he pulled on her hair hard enough to force her on her knees.

Sherlock hopped off the ledge to help her but Moriarty looked at him. "One move closer and I will snap her neck." He told him emphising on saying neck as if to tell him he wasn't bluffing, then he started laughing. "And here we have ourselves in a rather intersting positon. I have three trained snipers all pointed at the people closest to you and I, I, have your heart Sherlock. I told you I would burn the heart out of you." He told him as she moved Leola by her hair across the roof. "Now what shall I do?" He asked sarcastically.

Leola was being tugged along was in pain, but she was used to this from him. What she was prepared for was when she found the gun he was holding. She grinned every so slighly and looked over the Sherlock then back to his gun. "James." She squeaked playing along with the pain. "Please, James don't do this. Let me up, please, I beg you." She said softly as she was able to twist her arm around so that she could place her hand on his own.

He looked down at her and pulled her up against him so they were merly inches a part. "I could take you here and you wouldn't be able to do a thing about it." He told her then looking over at Sherlock. "And you as well woudln't be able to do anything yourself. So now what do we do? I have your heart in my hands, liteally, and everyone else had a bulltet aimed at them in the event you don't fall." He told him his voice deep and demanding making Leola involuntarily shudder and his eyes lit up. "You see that? Could you do that?!" He taunted an angry Sherlock.

Leola looked over at Sherlock then back at James tears welling in her eyes as she lightly grasped onto his hands. "Please, James, don't do this." She told him involuntary tears rolling down her face. "I am begging you James. Yes you terrify me and quite honestly I don't fully understand why I'm trying to talk you out of this but I am because I suppose that internal human weakness of mine," She paused looking at Sherlock briefly, "makes me want to help you because I still care. After everything we have been through James I still care about you, about us." She told him.

James looked down at the woman at his whim and grinned letting her go and turning his back on her. "Either he jumps or I die and everyone, including you, will die and he will be powerless to do anything about it." He told her walking back over to Sherlock.

Leola was on her knees shaking and tears pouring out from her eyes. She could deal with losing one of them but she knew if James died Sherlock would have no choice but to jump and that she couldn't deal with. She couldn't lose both of them, she would be dead among the living. She looked up to see James and Sherlock shaking hands then Sherlock's face twist in surprise before she could react ahe heard the gun fire and watched James body fall, blood pour from his skull.

"NO!" Leola shouted as she scrambled to go over to his lifeless body holding it in her arms. "I can't Sherlock... I can't lose you both." She told him looking up at him as she heard him panicing.

Sherlock stopped and knelted down putting both hands on her shoulders. "I know we never saw eye to eye on this and I truely apologize for that and everything else but," he paused looking het straight in the eyes, "you must pull through this and you must live on."

Leola shock her head over and over again. "No you can't do this we could run and hide until it is all over. Please Sherlock don't do this." She sobbed reaching out to him. "I can't... I just can't lose you both. So much has gone on and we have been through so much."

Sherlock looked at her and sadly smiled at her before leaning close to her and giving her one last kiss before he called John.

"Goodbye John. Take care of Leola for me, she'll need your strength." He told John as he took one last look at a hysterical Leola sobbing into the dead chest of Moriarty as he hung up and jumped.

John seeing his friend jump and faintly hearing a female screaming. He ran to his fallen friend going into shock himself.

"I'm a doctor I can help him." John said wearily as he fell over seeing his dead friend and then seeing a bloody Leola being held back by Lestrad as she couldn't come to term with what happened.

Leola pounded into Lestrad's chest sobbing and eventually falling to her knees screaming out of anguish. Lestrad kept her close as to not lash out on anyone around her.

"I would say everything will be alright, but I'm not going to lie to you." Lestrad told her hugging her tight and bringing her up to her feet. "I have to take you in to question you though. You were there we need to know what happened. We will go slow." He told her reassuringly as they walked away from the scene.

~~~~~~~~

Leola was woken up with a buzzing of her front door. She got up and put on his old bathrobe and went downstairs to slightly open the door to see Dr. Anderson standing there with an assortment of flowers and a very sober look on his face as she opened the door.

"I know I'm likely one of the last people you want to see right now but I wanted to offered my condolences to you." He told her softly holding out the flowers. "I am sorry for your loss and if there is anything I can do to help then please let me know I'll do everything I am able to."

Leola looked at him, more loke glared at him and she took the offered flowers never losing eye contact with him. She couldn't find words so she just nodded and shut the door.

"I mean it." She heard Anderson say through the door this time his voice cracking. "Let me know and I will come through for you."
Leola opened the door and looked at him, her eyes devoid of any emotion as she got close to him and whispered to him. "There is nothing you or anyone else can do to help me. I appreciate the offer but you've done mire damage than anything so please just don't go there." Again she turned around to shut the door and it was stopped by Anderson looking down at the ground.

"We never got along but that doesn't mean I didn't respect him I just couldn't show it. He was so difficult to work with and so different from anyone else that it was hard to accept the thought that he could do what we were trained and went to school for several years. It was very difficult but then things started changing when you came into town." He told her forcing himself to not look at her. "I found myself more jealous and envious of him than ever as he had taken the attention of a bright woman I was starting to like. My marriage was in ruin and I could find little enjoyment in life then you came around to work with us from time and time and it just felt right to be around you. You were too polite to tell me to piss off and I know you will never see me the same again but just know even if I am a last resort I will be here for you. Always." He told her turning around himself walking into the darkness.

Leola watched him as he walked away. She knew he liked her but she couldn't and would never let him into her life, too much chaos. She sighed closing the door and going back up to her bed laying the flowers down on the night stand. She laid back down still in his bathrobe and fell back into a fitful sleep.