A/N: This is a little weird for my taste, but I thought I would try out. I hope its not too OOC Rabadash. Lewis never went into much detail on the depths of Prince's personality, so I figured it would be alright if I did a little changing.
Disclaimer: Narnia belongs to Lewis
I am a reflection. A reflection that displays the distinction between the truth and my many lies. There are the lies. My handsome face, tan skin, shining black-as-coal eyes. A melodious laugh emanates from me, projecting its musical sound to the ears of all those in range. It is light and happy. It is a deceiving noise, that I am sure of. They all look up smiling at me, wondering what could have caused my mirth. But I am not amused. Why should I? Spending my days waiting for the day my father will die, or wondering when one of my brothers will finally finish him off.
We are Calormene princes, we do not love. We do not care. And our father waits. Watching us from the shadows, pretending to be oblivious to our scheming and guile. It is not a joyful existence. Shameful is more like it.
So listen closely, you might be able to hear the miserable lies in my laughter. The lies that are so thickly coated in deception that I can barely recognize my own voice anymore. My eyes are bright with a perpetual look of amusement. The outside. That's what I see when I look in the mirror. The lies.
Then there is the truth. The lies are heavy and overwhelming, but the truth is worse. It is cold and unforgiving. The truth is silent. It doesn't need to make noise like a lie does. A lie is loud, it needs to be spoken. But the truth can be loud in any silence. It's a good thing us Calormenes don't stay quiet for very long. I will never have to worry about anyone seeing through my façade, they're too busy hiding their own lies. We can't live in silence, we would all drown in the truth.
I avoid the truth at all costs, its like a lethal poison to my mind. I can taste the shameful aftertaste on my tongue, my sins stain my teeth permanently. I try not to exhale my lies. My mouth contains the foulness of my past mistakes, it slips out of mouth with my breath. This air I breathe out is toxic, it threatens to fill the room and suffocate me.
Lies are contagious. My ears hear a fabrication of the truth and instantly react. The liar looks at me with the same innocent eyes that I watch my world fall apart with. The lie soon spreads to my mind, twisting my thoughts and any decency I still have, ebbs away slowly. It trails down my throat, making me choke on the truth. Then it sits there on my tongue, waiting mockingly. Waiting for me to give into the wrongness of it all. It coats my teeth, eventually escaping and slipping through my lips. I spit the lie out painfully, desperately attempting to rid myself of the horrifying taste. Even after the words have been uttered, the lie is still there. The residue melts off of my teeth and dribbles down my chin. I am weak. I cannot resist a lie. That it the truth. The reflection of myself. The liar that cannot control the truth and the shamed, truthful man who becomes ill by his own lies. I am Rabadash. A truthful Liar.
