A/N : Just some thoughts on what could be going on in Cosima's or Delphine's heads sometimes. Hope you like it, characters and tv show not mine.
It's a bit ironic she thinks, to feel such a strong duality, for someone who has god knows how many clones.
But when Delphine comes in, when she hears the door open and close slowly and her footsteps approaching; when she smells her enchanting soap smell, so clean and simple, she's not herself anymore. She knows love is a chemical reaction, she knows chances are the woman is her moderator. She knows better than anything else she's feeling and yet she feels like she doesn't know anything anymore.
Then she feels her.
And as her head turns over to see Delphine, she completely loses any ounce of self-control and just lets herself go, any rational thought long forgotten. She lets Delphine hand guide her chin, she lets her fingers close around her neck. The proximity kills her.
For a moment she lets old Cosima, the one from before the phone call, the one who was obliviously happy about her situation, take the lead. She tries to slip into the comfort skin she always wears when Delphine is around. She can't. The moment Delphine's lips touch hers, the make-believe feeling of happiness she tried so hard to convey vanishes.
She doesn't know who she is. She's a massive gathering of cells and the result of an even bigger amount of atoms. She's a scientist. She's a dork. She's short-sighted. She's a weed smoker, book-lover.
But who is she, really?
Maybe she doesn't need a precise answer.
Right now she's a smitten young woman who is falling in love.
She lets herself be defined by her. Delphine. She lets the blonde draw her outline. She exists where she is touched by feather-like fingers. When her eyes are closed, she can see her own silhouette come to life, part after part, limb after limb, cell after cell. Her soul is getting out of the darkness, enlightened by a light that would have blinded her, had it not been Delphine's.
She doesn't know who she is or where she comes from, but maybe she doesn't need an answer after all.
