If They Only Knew…
The ISO's technicians worked feverishly on the vortex generator all night. Ken, Joe, and Jinpei had fallen through the vortex frame with Berg Katse. Nambu well remembered how they had each vanished, the little flashes of alternate universes that opened and shut before he could really see them.
"We've got one!" Jun called. "Not sure which one, though."
"Guards, stand ready." In case it was Berg Katse. The guards formed a semi-circle in front of the semi-circular vortex frame.
A technician manipulated the controls as another read figures from the computer. Inside the frame, the view of the opposite wall flickered, wobbled, blurring out detail. Berg Katse appeared briefly, diving at them while pursued by two bald Asians. The vortex churned and the console spurted blue smoke.
"Uh-oh." Blue smoke and electronics: not a good sign.
More desperate work. According to the computer, time was passing on the other side. One day per hour.
"Okay, we've routed around it." The technicians tried again.
Jinpei rushed through. "Don't ask," he said. "You'll never believe me." He held out his hand. Nambu saw short gold and white hairs on the glove's material. "Wonder if you can get DNA off this?"
"What are those?" Jun asked. "Clean it off."
"Horse hairs."
More blurring, then Ken, carrying a box, emerged. "Oh, damn," he said, looking at the box. "I meant to give this back. You won't believe where I've been."
Ryu walked into the room. "Hey, guys! You get Joe back, yet?"
"We're down to Katse and Joe," Nambu said.
"Ready."
Joe hustled through his vortex. "I will never be able to go to Parris Island, ever again," he said. "I won't be able to get near a single Ameris Marine, ever again."
"Where were you?" Nambu asked.
"You won't believe it," Ken and Jinpei chorused.
"Try me." He ran a team of superheroes who had just fallen in and out of the rabbit hole. How odd could their stories be?
"I landed in a barn. The horse in there yelled for help."
Nambu's eyebrows rose. "The horse yelled for help?"
"Yeah. Then this nerdy guy ran in and saw me. The horse told him what happened, and he rushed out to make sure his wife didn't come into the barn." Jinpei shrugged. "I don't know what the big deal was. She was fine with it when she found out the horse talked. Said that it explained a lot."
"The horse talked." Nambu was still processing that.
"Yeah. His name was Ed. His owner was Wilbur Post."
Ken laughed. "I had a talking dog and helped a bunch of kids solve a crime. A guy was pretending to haunt an art museum so that he could replace authentic paintings with forgeries. That was actually fun. Scooby Snak?" He tossed one down.
Joe growled. "Great. I ended up with a Marine platoon centered around a goofball redneck named Gomer Pyle and a loud sergeant named Carter. At least Pyle knew engines."
"I think we have Katse."
The guards raised their weapons.
The vortex blurred. They heard a motor roar. Berg Katse, covered in blood, wielding a bloody chainsaw, ran through. "Damn it!" he roared, tossing the still-running power tool at the guards. "Blow the damn thing up! First I got trashed by a blind Chinese monk, then a lunatic with a chain saw chased me." For good measure, he chucked a smoke-bomb at them.
When the smoke cleared, he was gone.
Talking animals, redneck Marines, chainsaw waving lunatics, and blind monks. Nambu picked up the chainsaw and started with the vortex frame.
Author's note: I got a little goofy one night. This is something of an in-joke for those who know the vocal cast of 'Battle of the Planets.' Just imagine what happened in those universes.
