First Episode - Edward Elric
Actually, I've posted this story before. But there was a teaechnical problem and it ended up getting earsed. I'm so sorry! As a sign od my apology, I'll also post the 2nd chap!
Disclaimer : I don't own FMA or any of tis characters.
Crimson : welcome everyone! To the first ever FMA Talk Show! I, Crimson Flarez shall be your host for tonight!
Audience : woohooo!
Crimson : now! Let's begin! In front of your seat is a screen with 5 pictures of our nomination. All you have to do is press the picture of your favorite character. The one with most votes will be called! Alright! 1 minute everyone!
Audience : *chatter chatter*
~1 minute later~
Crimson : alright, looks like everyone has voted. *stares at ipad* ooh? *giggles* who is our lucky guy?!
*a portal appears above the sofa. A male figure with blond hair crashed on the sofa*
Crimson : well well well... How are you tonight Ed?
Ed fans : GYAAHHH IT'S EDWARD!
Ed : *rubs head* huh? *look around and found eyes staring at him* what the- where the h311 am I?! *sees a crowd of girls cheering at him* wh-what..?
Crimson : calm down, Ed. And they... Are you fans.
Ed : I have fans?
Crimson : lots of them worldwide. Anything you wanna say to them?
Ed : uh.. Hi?
Fan 1 : HI! Did you see he that? He just said hi to me!
Fan 2 : no, he said hi to me!
Fan 3 : no, to me!
Fan 4 : meeee!
Fan 5 : ED IS MINE!
Fans : *fights over Ed*
Ed : *sweatdrops and turns to Crimson* you haven't answered my question.
Crimson : right. Ed, welcome to FMA talk show!
Ed : show?
Crimson : this is a talk show. Now sit down and let's start quickly. People all over the world is watching you right now, y'know...
Ed : I don't have time for this! *walks to the exit , but hit his head on something hard* what..?
Crimson : i put a barier all over the building, in case you wanna escape, which is what you are doing right now.
Ed : well if i can't find one, I'll make one! *claps hand and press them on the floor. Nothing happens* eh?
Crimson : this place is alchemy-free. You can't use it. You will have to stay here until the show is finish.
Ed : what?! But Al! He's fighting Scar alone!
Crimson : him? Don't worry I've sent someone there, to help him out.
~where Al is~
Al : brother where are you?!
*a brick wall suddenly collapses. A muscular figure emerges*
Al : Major?
Armstrong : do not fear Alphones! I, major Alex Louis Armstrong shall assist you on capturing Scar! *rips his clothes off and shows his muscles*
Al : *freaks out*
~back to the studio~
Ed : over all of the people in the military, you sent him?!
Crimson : what's wrong? I'm sure he's capable of handling him.
Ed : Al... Don't leave me in this cruel world...
Crimson : Uh... I'll take that as 'okay I'll stay and answer all of your questions till the show's finished'
Ed : *glares at Crimson* I. Hate. You.
Crimson : I love you too. Now. Let's start with a simple question. Hmm... *shuffles papers* boring... Obvious... Ah! This one's interesting. *clicks something in ipad*
*screen shows of Ed smaller version and big version*
Ed : wh-what is this?
Crimson : according to fma wiki, at the start of the episode your height is only... 149 cm! Man I didn't know this before! I didn't know you were this sho-
Ed : WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT HE HAS AN AMOEBA AS A FRIEND?!
Crimson : you mean small?
Ed : IT'S THE SAME!
Crimson : *giggles* control your temper fullmetal. The whole world is watching you.
Ed : *glares*
Crimson : alright, back to business. This is you at the age of 15. This is... *points at the picture in the right* you at the age of 16. So how did you grow that fast? Care to explain?
Ed : HA! So I WILL become tall! Just you wait suckers! 1 more year! *laugh like a scientist freak*
Crimson : *sweatdrops* you haven't amswered my question yet.
Ed : hmm? Well how am I suppose to know? I'm still sho-...
Crimson : ...
Ed : ssssh-ssho-shorrr-short... *grabs head and goes depressed*
Crimson : er.. Right...
Ed : oh! I know! Because I excercise daily!
Crimson : you excercise?
Ed : of course! Kicking those homunculus' butts everyday trains my muscles and bones!
Crimson : you have a point... Any advice for short people?
Ed : *stands up and points to the audience*
Crimson : *press ipad*
*giant screen turns on. Then a chibi Ed appears with a writing on top of it. "Dr. Edward Elric says..."*
Ed : KICK 1 HOMUNCULUS' BUTT A DAY TO GET TALLER!
Audience : oooohhh! *claps there hands*
Crimson : niccceeeee... Short people are already inspirated by their hero! So Ed... Did you know there have been some rumors about you?
Ed : what rumors?
Crimson : well it says here that you have a special relationship with Colonel Mustang and Envy.
Ed : rela-? Relationship? What kind- *eyes widen* I AM NOT GAY! ESPECIALLY WITH THAT COLONEL! AND WITH THAT PALM TREE!? YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!
Crimson : really? I though these rumors are true.
ED : OF COURSE THEY'RE NOT!
Crimson : really? Then prove it. Who do you like Edward?
Ed : GLADLY! I LIKE- *stops abruptly*
Crimson : you like...?
Ed : *narrows eyes* you sneaky little host... I know what you're trying to do! YOU DON'T WANNA PLAY THIS GAME WITH ME HOST!
Crimson : *smirk and and puts innocent eyes* I'm only asking, Ed. I'm not plotting anything.
Ed : like I'm gonna believe you. You ain't tricking me host. Never.
Crimson : Well since they are no proof, you ARE gay then.
Ed : I AM NOT!
Crimson : then proof it
Ed : GGYYAAAHHH! *grabs head and smack it on the table*
Crimson : *giggles* So Ed... You hate Mustang, right?
Ed : *mood changes abruptly* with all my heart.
Crimson : so why do you want to be under his commands? Can't you move to someone else's commands?
Ed : good question... Now that I think about it... Why didn't I? *smirk* I'm gonna be free from that colonel and his stupid missions! *cheers*
Crimson : stupid missions? What sort of?
Ed : oh where do I start?! There's like a mountain of 'em!
Crimson : I got time.
Ed : hmm... Well there was this time when...
~flashback~
"Remind me to kick that colonel's butt when we get back" Ed muttered angrily.
"Brother..." Al said, trying to calm his brother down when he heard footsteps coming from outside. Ed quickly put his finger on his mouth, telling his brother to be quiet. A man then opened the tent he was in.
"You ready, clownboy?" He asked. Ed's mood changed abruptly and he forced himself to smile.
"Ready as ever!"
"Good. You're up in 1 minute," with that the man left. Ed frowned at the man's words. He was told to act. As a clown. In front of public. This was his dignity they were talking about.
"And now, let's welcome our favorite one and only clown!" He heard the ringmaster said.
"Brother, that's your cue!" Al said.
"Yeah yeah.." Ed said as he grabbed a super small tricycle.
"Brother, your red nose!" Al reminded,
Ed hesitated, then he stuffed his hand unto his pants' pocket, pulling a big round red nose. "I was hoping I'd get away," Ed grumbled. He plucked the nose onto bis face and rode the tricylce out.
Once the ringmaster saw him, he pointed his hand to Ed, causing all eyes to watch him. Ed started to become nervous. But he kept his mission in his mind. He just needed to find the group of terorist and stop them, without causing chaos.
'Mustang said there are three of them... If I were them, what would I do...' He thought.
'First, I would be alone, separate from the other members. And I would keep watching the ringmaster...' Ed thought. He smirk when he spotted a bulky man glaring at the ringmaster instead of him. He sat on the highest row, making him almost invisible in the crowd. He frowned. There was only one, and he was far away. Where were the others then? And how could he get him? He could stop one but he couldn't stop the others. He needed a plan, fast.
He then stood on his tricylce and did a somersault, causing the crowd to clap their hands. He glanced back at the tent, finding his brother peeking. Ed nodded, indicating that he had found one, and he would give a clue.
Another clown gave a long wooden pole to him, with a bucket on top. Ed pretended he couldn't hold on to the pole and clumsily walk to where the man sit. Once he reached the man's column, he let the pole bucket fell. People who were near started to scream but quickly laughed when Ed grabbed on to the pole in the last minute. If it weren't for the string that attached it with the pole, it would have fallen on the man's head. Yes, it was just a prank.
He turned to face the crowd again, trying to find another one. He spotted another man, sitting on the lowest row. The man turned to him when he realized he was being watched. Ed quickly turn around to avoid being caught. An idea then struck his head. He ran to the ringmaster, and snatched his hat away. The crowd started to laugh as the ring master searched his missing hat. When he saw Ed wearing it, he laughed eventhough deep down he was annoyed.
"I need a volunteer!" Ed shouted. People of all ages raised their hands. Some even yelled to get his attention. though, Ed already chose his special guy.
"What about you, sir!" Ed said with a smirk. Other clowns walked to the man and ushered him to follow them. The man refused, but the clowns kept insiting.
"Get me a small tent," Ed whispered to one of the clowns. The clown left and returned with a few more people. The put on the tent and pushed the man in. Ed did some minor calculations, clapped his hands and slip them under the tent. There was a scream before Ed pulled the tent, revealing nothing but dust. Crowd cheered and Ed saluted in return.
Al covered the man's mouth so that he wouldn't attract attention. He then hit the man's head with his hand so that he would collapse. He dragged the body out of the tunnel and tied him with a rope. Then, he peeked again from the tent.
His brother's hands moved oddly. It took a moment before Al realized that his brother was sending him a message. It was a sign language he and Al invented. In case things like this would happen.
"Catch guy highest row my cue. Catch guy highest row my cue."
Al leaped silently to the the seats. Ed pulled the tent open, revealing a statue of the ringmaster devouring a cake. The crowd laughed and cheered at the same time. And when they were busy, Al covered the man's mouth and pulled him back. He struggled hard, but Al managed to restrain him.
As Ed noticed that Al had done his job, Ed saluted to the crowd and rushed back to the tent. He met up with Al.
"Job's done!" Ed cheered as he threw his rainbow colored afro to Al.
"Brother, I thought there are three of them,"
"Oh the other clowns are taking care of him," Ed said, wiping his face hoping the make up would be gone.
"And I thought you were supposed to be a clown. Now you're a magician,"
"I don't care. As long as I did my job, and I still LOOK like a clown, then it's okay,"
Al shook his head and sighed. He got a point, but not very pleasant.
"So what are we going to do with these two?" Al asked.
"I don't know. Give them to the ringmaster?"
"Okay then..."
"Wait Al... Don't give them back yet,"
"Why?"
Am evil grin crossed his face. "They made me go through this trouble... Now they will pay,"
Crimson : you? Wear a clown costume? With big red nose and rainbow afro? That's... Oh my God... *burst into laughter*
Ed : *becomes irritated*
Crimson : so *chuckles* what did you mean by 'the clowns are taking care of him'
Ed : well I told them to get him into the field, take his weapon... Whatever it was... And... Play with him.
Crimson : and the other two?
Ed : *smirks* I dressed them up as clowns... And with Al's rope, I attached them to the flag pole in front of the circus... As a parting gift for the ringmaster.
Crimson : that's just so like you...
Ed : of course! hey, host.
Crimson : hmm?
Ed : you got some drink here? I'm thirsty.
Crimson : of course! *snaps a finger*
*a bottle with white liquid appears in fron of hands*
Ed : this is... I ain't drinking this thing!
Crimson : what? It's just milk...
Ed : I HATE MILK!
Crimson : but according to researches, milk is good for your both bones. For children, it's good for growing. And since you are, drinking milk helps you gain height faster.
Ed : I DON't CARE! I AM NOT DRINKING THAT OPAQUE LIQUID!
Crimson : why? Milk is delicious you know. *points to the audience*
Audience : *holds up their bottles of milk* drink your milk Ed...!
Ed : N-NO! NEVER!
Crimson : oh come on! It tastes good! *gulps down milk*
Ed : NO!
Crimson : or maybe you want to drink the other flavours. We got choclate, strawberry, vanilla and even tea!
Ed : *bottles of milk with different flavours appear in front of him* what is this place some kind dairy?!
Crimson : well actually there's a dairy right beside the studio. Me and the staffs usually buy milk from there.
Ed : *stares at Crimson with an increduous look* Listen, I don't want to drink milk. Just give me water.
Crimson : I'm sorry but we ran out of it a few seconds ago.
Ed : well as a guest here, I order your staff to go buy me some!
Crimson : well, Ed. The nearest store that sells water here is at the outskirts of town. It will take at least 45 minutes to go there. Another one to get back. And the show will be ober in less than 20 minutes.
Ed : *mouth's wide open* I SWEAR YOU ARE ALL MILK ADDICT! GET ME OUT OF HERE!
Crimson : not until the show is finished, Ed.
Ed : THEN I'LL FORCE MY WAY OUTTA HERE! *throws sofa to the barrier. Barrier breaks* HA! I'M FREE! SEE YA YOU MILK FREAKS!
Crimson : initiating escape plan *press buttons*
*darts with a liquid inside it starts to appear*
Ed : HEY! *jumps to avoid darts* HA! You missed!
Crimson : uh no I didn't.
Ed : whaddya mean? *looks behind him and sees a dart sticking on his leg* Curse you host... *falls on the floor*
Crimson : wow morphine does work. *snaps finger. Staffs appear, fixing the sofa and carries Ed. Puts Ed on the sofa* So, Ed..
Ed : mmmmpphh?
Crimson : how do you feel?
Ed : hmm? K-kinda wobbly.. Everything spins... hehehehe...
Crimson : (morphine works pretty fast) So Ed... What do you think of Winry?
Ed : who...?
Crimson : Winry Rockbell? Blond hair and the one who makes your automail?
Ed : Winry?... Oh her... She's scary when... When she's angry... I can see those wrenches flying at me again... heheheh... Owww! Do you wanna kill me, Winry?!
Crimson : er... Okay... *whispers to the staff* how much did you give it to him?
Staff : *raises shoulder*
Ed :but...
Crimson : *turns attention back to Ed*
Ed : she's... Kind... No matter how many... Times I break my automail... She always fixes it... *frowns* in exchange of my bleeding head...
Crimson : okay... How bout her looks? Is She pretty?
Ed : whose?
Crimson : Winry's... Winry's look.
Ed : Winry's... Pretty. Especially when she's not in her jumpsuit... She looks more girly... Girly... Girly..
Crimson : girly what? When?
Ed : when she's in her tank top and skirt... And... and.. and.. *goes to sleep and snores*
Crimson : *pokes Ed with a super long stick*
Ed : wha- huh?
Crimson : and what?
Ed : what?
Crimson. : you were going to say something before you went to sleep..
Ed : oh! Wait... Uh... Yes.. Her hair..
Crimson : what's with her hair?
Ed : I like her hair... So silky...
Crimson : I see... So Ed do you like her?
Ed : me? I-
*alarm turns on*
Crimson : oh oh... The effect's gonna wear of in 15 seconds! Ed! Say goodbye to the audience!
Ed : huh? Okay... Bye bye...
Audience : bye Ed!
Ed : bye bye...
Audience : bye!
Ed : bye... Bye...
Audiencen: bye?
Ed : bye... Bye... Bye... *sleeps*
Crimson : okay that's enough! Open the portal *portal appears* see ya, Ed! *kicks Ed into the portal*
Ed : uuurgghhhh...
Someone : brother! You're awake!
Ed : Al..? Is that you?
Al : oh I'm so glad you're okay! You were missing for hours! I was so worried!
Ed : huh? I'm okay. Don't worry Al. *looks around* hey... Why are we moving? *sees major armstrong carrying him*
Armstrong : *hugs Ed tightly* Oh Edward I'm so glad you are okay!
Ed : GYYAAAAHHHH!
Crimson : okay that's for tonight folks! I hope you all enjoyed the episode. Don't forget to keep watching FMA talkshow! Good bye and good night all! Have a good day!
Audience : *cheers*
