Everything is pitch-black. Too dark to see, too dark to be able to understand anything that is going on. Even I, the mighty fire dragonslayer Natsu, am frozen, not daring to move. You would think that I'd be able to rely on my nose here, but the problem is; I cannot. For some reason, I don't understand the huge amount of smells that's circling around me. There are too many for even me to figure out. My eyes are wide open, as if I would be able to see more like this than when I would close my eyes. But that's a lie. I can see nothing. Maybe I will see even more when I close my eyes. So I try. I close my eyes, carefully. Afraid. Yes, indeed, afraid. Natsu the dragonslayer is afraid. Afraid in this darkness of smells. I listen closely, but I can't hear anything. Of course. There is nothing here. Nothing but darkness. But, if there's nothing here, then why am I so scared?
It's because you're alone. A soft voice whispers in my head. Yes, that's true. I can do anything when my friends are beside me, but not when I'm left alone in the dark. Suddenly some kind of panic starts to fill my mind and before I know it, I'm running. Running away from the dark, from the thousand smells around me, from my fears. But I should know that I shouldn't run from my fears. He taught me, right? Gildarts. Fear is not evil, it only allows us to see our own weaknesses.
Then what, Gildarts, are my weaknesses? Maybe it sounds absurd, arrogant, but I need to know, don't I? If I don't know my weaknesses, how on earthland would I be able to overcome my fears? But I already know what Gildarts would tell me if I'd ask him this question. It's something you have to figure out for yourself, Natsu. Yes, I'm sure that's what he would tell me.
And this is exactly the reason for this panic that's taking me over.
Even though I'm running, I can feel my knees shaking, along with my hands. I can feel my eyes are starting to get foggy and I know it won't take long now before the fog will turn into rain and fall, fall down from my eyes, on the cold, dark ground. My body's telling me to give in, but I'm stubborn. I can't give in. But what are my fears?
They have arrived. Tears. I close my eyes. I don't want to cry. I don't want to be weak. I'm a Fairy Tail mage, for Mavis' sake! Gildarts' voice still echoes in my head. Fear is not evil, it only allows us to see our own weaknesses.
My feet stop. I'm standing still. I can feel my body shaking still. I raise my voice. 'I'm afraid now! I can feel it! I can feel this damn fear! Could anybody tell me why already?'
I'm falling down. It's not just my tears anymore. It's me. And just when I'm thinking it's about time for my knees to crash down on the ground, it disappears.
'Natsu Dragneel!'
Shocked, my eyes open widely. I'm still falling. But I have no idea where this is going to take me. 'Yes?'
'Learn and see!' the voice snaps.
'See what? Learn what?' I growl, irritated. I wish Happy was with me know, so he could fly me out of this annoying dark world where all I can do is fall. 'Who the hell are you, anyway?' I add.
'That's none of your business. It was your wish to face your fears, wasn't it, mighty dragonslayer?' He's being sarcastic, I can tell! The tone in its voice is almost the same of Gray's when he's about to punch me with his stupid ice magic. 'Shut up!' I shout. 'Are you Gray or something?'
'I don't know of a certain "Gray",' the voice says. 'And it's you who has to shut up, if you don't, you'll never reach the ground.'
Okay, if that's true I think I can keep my mouth shut for a little while.
Light. Too bright for my eyes to handle. I close them and after a few seconds, when I think my eyes are ready, I open them again. But maybe it would have been better if I hadn't.
What I see in this bright world – the complete opposite of the dark area I was in before – hits me. Hard. Right in my face. Before I know it, I'm running, screaming, crying out. Because what I see is her.
My best friend, the blond-haired celestial mage whom I don't think I can live without. Lucy.
Red.
Isn't red a nice color? Red is the color of roses, of the amazing sunset I'm always watching together with my friends, of the guild's sign on my shoulder. It's all red.
But red is also covering Lucy now, my Lucy. And this red isn't the red I like.
'Lucy!'
She doesn't hear me. She doesn't move. She doesn't. She just doesn't.
I fall down on my knees, while hundreds of feelings force themselves in my body, hundreds of feelings I didn't even know they existed. Anger. Guilt. Sadness. But there's one more I can understand now. Fear.
'Lucy!'
They are covering my vision again, those damned tears. Those stupid, awkward, annoying tears. They fall down on her unmoving body, which I'm holding tight.
Helpless, I look up at the sky, which is red now and I don't even understand why.
Is this it, Gildarts? Is this my weakness? Losing her, of all people? Why did she have to get caught up in this? 'This isn't what I wanted, damn it!' I cry. 'I just want to know my fears, I didn't want them to become reality!'
Memories. They're all in my head. One by one, they start to cover my vision. And I want them to go away. To stay with me. I want to create more of them, but I can't do that alone. Lucy. It's all Lucy. The day when we first met, the day when I saved her from Phantom Lord, all the days on which she found me in her room, together with Happy. She always kicked me out, but I never wanted to leave her. And right now, she's leaving me. Red has taken her away from me. And I can't even tell her how much I want her to stay by my side, because she is already, already…
'No! Return her! Right now!'
'Isn't this what you wished for, Natsu Dragneel? You wanted to know your weakness and here they are, right before you.'
'SHUT UP! Return Lucy at once!' I'm standing up. I'm shaking again. But I know it's not fear anymore. It's hatred. Anger. Strength.
And then, everything suddenly fades away, as if I'm moving to another stupid scene set up by the voice that's talking those words of poison to me. But not only the world is fading. Lucy is too.
'Lucy! Lucy!'
'Oi, Natsu, wake up.'
My eyes open. Where am I? Where is Lucy? Is it over yet? I'm trying to get up, but dizziness doesn't allow me too. I fall back on… on what? A bed? And then, I meet worried, chocolate brown eyes. Memories turn back to me. 'Lucy!'
'Yeah, yeah, I'm here. What the hell was going on?' Lucy says annoyed, but I can see a slight pink blush on her cheeks. 'Why were you crying my name all the time?'
A grin starts to find my lips and I get up, throwing my arms around her and pinning her body against mine. I close my eyes. 'I'm so glad you're here.'
Thank Mavis, it was just a bad dream.
