SOUTH PARK

"THE WEED SELLER"

CHAPTER 1

"GETTING INTERESTED"

EARLY IN THE MORNING Kyle, Kenny and Cartman were standing at the bus stop tired from staying up late watching the Terrence and Philip special "The Dirty Slut of Canada". Stan of course was late and very bitchy because he had gotten himself grounded from being able to watch the special because he had called his sister a Bitch.

As the the bus stops to pick the boys up for school Ms. Crabtree is in a very ,very bad mood and yells at the boys to "sit the fuck down turdheads". Kenny replied "No we are not you bitch" Ms. Crabtree yells "What did you say?" "I don't want to lay in a ditch" said Kenny ....... "Oh okay then just set down"

Ms. Crabtree replies.

In class that day Mr. Garrison is going on and on about weed and what is bad about it but instead of listening the boys start talking about trying weed instead and how cool it would be. "Is there a problem boys?" asks Mr. Hat and of course all of them reply "NO Mr. Hat".......... but at the same time every one of them is thinking about how to get a hold of some weed to try it.... As Mr. Garrison drones on and on about how if you smoke weed you will get addicted and be in and out of rehab

"that would be sweet" replies Cartman. After school the boys catch the bus home and they are still talking about how to get weed and try it.

CHAPTER 2

"GETTING THE INFO"

AFTER SCHOOL Cartman is setting on his fat ass watching T.V. and eating Cheesy Poofs and yelling at Kitty "no Kitty these are my Cheesy Poofs" about that time an advertisement

comes on saying " If you want weed you need to see me the weed seller 421 Nelson Street Denver Colorado 55535" Cartman picks up the phone and calls Kyle. Kyle answering says "What do you want now fat ass?" "I'm not fat I'm big boned" replies Cartman.

"Meet me in front of my house in 10 minutes I know were we can get some weed". "Where ?" asks Kyle "don't worry about it just meet me" "OK" says Kyle.

Ten minutes later the boys are standing in front of Cartmans house "OK where can you get the weed?" asks Kyle

"Don't worry about that we need to catch a bus" Cartman replies

"Why do we need to catch a bus" asks Kyle very puzzled

"We are going to Denver" Cartman says "We can't go to Denver" replies Kyle " Quit being a pussy" Cartman says " Oh all right fuck it lets go" replies Kyle.

CHAPTER 3

"THE INFORMER"

WHILE SETTING AT HOME Stan begins to wonder why he has not heard from Cartman or Kyle they were supposed to go throw shit at Mr. Macky's car. So Stan calls Cartmans house and Ms. Cartman answers " Is Cartman there" asks Stan " Why no him and Kyle went out and I have no idea when they will be back" replies Ms. Cartman. So Stan goes over to Cartmans and sneaks into Cartmans bedroom he looks around and finds nothing so then he gets the idea to search the dresser and closet and in the dresser finds a piece of paper that says

Weed Seller

421 Nelson Street

Denver, Colorado 55535

Bus 21

6:00pm

"son of a bitch" says Stan " I told them they had better not try weed but the fat ass and the Jew ignored me." So Stan rushes to the bus depot and finds that he is to late bus 21 has already left.

Meanwhile on the bus Cartman and Kyle are talking about how sweet it is going to be to get some weed from the seat behind them they hear "Weed ruined my life I was in and out of rehab, I lost my job, my home, my family, everything just mark my words you both will be very sorry" "Go be a pussy somewhere else I am going to get me some weed" says Cartman.

At the bus depot Stan is yelling at the ticket guy " Have you seen these dumb asses?" waving a picture of Cartman and Kyle at him " yeah they caught the 6:00 bus for Denver." " Well get me on the next bus to Denver." "OK that bus leaves in 10 minutes" said the ticket agent. As Stan boards the bus he is cussing Cartman and Kyle like hell.

CHAPTER 4

"OBTAINING THE PRODUCT"

As Cartman and Kyle get off the bus at the right street. Black people are everywhere Kyle asks the first bum he sees "Do you know the weed seller?" "Yeah man he is right over there the dude in the black coat" replies the bum "Thanks bum" says Cartman "you're welcome fat ass" replies the bum" "hey I'm big boned" says Cartman

"Big boned my ass" replies the bum as he walks away.

The boys approach the weed seller and ask to buy some weed and the weed seller says "that will be $1,000" "Shit all we have is this necklace" says Cartman "Oh shiny that will work just fine" as he takes the necklace and pockets it then he hands the boys the bag of weed.

Meanwhile on the bus Stan is still cussing when he hears a voice in the seat in front of him "little boys should not use that kind of language" "shut the hell up you old bitch" yells Stan looking over the list in his hand of the things he needs to do

1. catch the bus to Denver

2. find Cartman and Kyle

3. yell at them

4. tell on them

5. kiss Wendy without throwing up on her

6. don't care what Bebe thinks

CHAPTER 5

"BUSTED!!!!"

Stan makes it to Nelson Street and asks the same bum "Have you seen these boys?" and shows him a picture

"Yeah they are over there with the weed seller" replies the bum.

Running over to Cartman and Kyle Stan discovers that he is to late they are sharing a dooby back and forth "What the hell do you think you're doing?" yells Stan "Smoking weed you dildo what's it look like?"

"I'm telling Mr. Garrison and Barbrady" says Stan

"Mr. Garrison is a gay asshole and Barbrady is a retard" Cartman says "We'll see about that" says Stan as he takes off running for the return bus to South Park but Stan was a little bit to slow Cartman and Kyle catch the bus first "Oh Shit" says Stan "I'll catch the next bus they will not get away with this."

Back at Cartmans house him and Kyle have locked themselves in Cartmans room and roll another dooby.

In the meantime Stan makes it back to South Park and is telling Garrison and Barbrady everything "What the hell do they think they are doing were they not paying attention to the lecture I gave on drugs" says Garrison

"NO they were talking about how cool it would be to smoke weed" says Stan then Barbrady replies "That's not cool let's go bust those little punks."

So Stan, Garrison and Barbrady go to Cartmans house and find that Cartman and Kyle have locked themselves in the bedroom...............................

CHAPTER 6

"SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT"

As the trio arrives at Cartmans house and Ms. Cartman answers the door "Where are the boys?" "Why there up in Cartmans room playing?" replies Ms. Cartman

"Playing my ass they have been smoking weed" says Barbrady "Smoking weed my sweet little Eric would'nt do that" says Ms. Cartman "Well lets have a look then" replies Barbrady "OK" says Ms. Cartman as she begins to lead the way upstairs.

Upstairs at Cartmans bedroom door "Open up" yells Barbrady "we'll be out in a minute" yells Cartman "If you don't open this door right now I will break it in" replies Barbrady about that time Barbrady busts the door in and finds that the boys are passing a joint back and forth and the floor is littered with chip and cookie bags. "Give me that" yells Barbrady as he jerks the joint out of Cartmans hand "Give that back you fuckin hippie" yells Cartman trying to get the dooby back "Its off to rehab with you boys" says Barbrady.

ONE MONTH LATER

At the bus stop Stan says "now I told you that you should have thought before trying weed" about that Cartman says "Hey Kyle do you want to try Cocaine?

Kyle and Stan both yell "NO"

Cartman replies "Screw you guys I'm goin home.