What would you do if you found out that you would have no future? All you wishes and dreams, forever lost and to never return. The memories of your past would haunt you day and night, taking no breaks in-between. It was a never-ending cycle that was impossible to break. Nothing would help, not even if someone had even tried to cheer you up.
Sixteen-year-old Maria Angelo has had to live this type of life. The days would progress, but her mind, heart, and soul simply couldn't move on - with the rest of the world. She was forever caged inside a world of hurt and heartbreak.

As Maria got into her small twin-sized bed, stripping down the solid navy comforter, she stared at the ceiling. Will all of this ever come to an end? she wondered. All she asked for, was a peaceful night's sleep. She shut her liquid brown eyes, and let the image of the pitch black night sky, covering the Bronx like a winter blanket, which was filled with stars and constellations, depict itself yet again in her mind.

Maria frowned in her sleep as she heard a fight start outside. Isn't it a bit late at night for fights? she thought while she tried to rest. The time on the circular analog clock, which hung comfortably on the light tan bed room wall, read midnight. It wasn't long after the fight had broken out that she had heard someone from outside pull the trigger, and take yet another life. That was one less person who could have changed the world. Someone who could have helped find a cure for cancer; to end the pressure of being "picture-perfect" every minute of every day. It just had to happen, didn't it? The clashing sound of the dead body made her uneasy. Her eyes began to water, and tears began to run down Maria's face, smearing her mascara. She wiped away the black mascara carefully, making sure she didn't poke her eye with her middle finger in the process.

The next morning, she woke up to a cloudy and depressing day, which pretty much summed up her everyday life, which brought absolutely no surprise whatsoever. Not long after she had risen from her slumber, she dragged her feet into the small kitchen of her tenement house, in which she lived in company with her father, and her younger brother, Vincent. Vincent was a mere twelve years old, enjoying a bowl of Cookie Crisp cereal at the round oak table, with three chairs, just enough for the three of them.

"I made your favorite - bacon and eggs," her father said warmly. The yolks of the eggs looked like eyes, adn the bacon strip curled downward, which resembled a sad and innocent face sat on her plate, looking up at her with dreadful eyes, only it was in the form of food.

"Thanks, Dad," she replied. She had never wanted to tell her father what kind of mood she was in right now. The most he would do, or try to do, is unsuccessfully try to cheer her up. Maria knew nothing would work, however. She's known for the past sixteen years, in which her pilgrimage on the planet earth began.

"Are you okay Bumble Bee?" He had called her that since she was just a toddler, and right now, the childish nickname gave her a sense of comfort. It was enough to calm her uneasy nerves, which had turned stiff with fright overnight because of the recurring flashbacks she continued to have while she was asleep each night.

"Yeah, Im fine," Maria lied. She was anything BUT okay, but she knew better than to tell her own father, and for her own sake, her younger brother. Tellnig Vincent you weren't okay would send him on an interminable session of qinterrogation. It's not like either one would understand where she was coming from anyway; very few people were able to fully understand her.

In order to attempt to clear her mind of the unpleasant memory caused by the sound of the gunshot, Maria had made up her mind. She told her father what her whereabouts of the day would be.

"I'm going to go for a walk, Dad," she said.

"Alright, just be careful, and keep an eye out for those God-damned thugs. Heavens knows what they might try to pull, and I care about you too much to let anything happen to you."

"I know, I know."

She sighed. Maria then headed for the front door with her hands jammed in her pockets.

As she crossed the threshehold, exposing herself into the gloomy environment, she inhaled deeply. Everything she did, now that she was outside of the safe haven of her home, had to be considered. How she walked, talked, acted, and even how she dressed made a statement. In a place like New York, it was better to make a good statement about yourself than a bad one. A bad self-statement could potentially lead to extermination.

Maria walked and walked for about three and a half miles. All she needed right now was to try and clear her head. However, it seemed almost an impossible task, especially living in the Bronx of New York. She recalled a particularly depressing day that had happened seven years ago.

It was the day her best friend was show down, dead and lifeless, in a drive-by shooting. At the time, she was only nine years of age. The two of them were just talking outside of a local ice-cream shop, and tess, with her caramel hair and pale ocean blue eyes, looked as innocent as can be. She looked nothing like a criminal; she had never done anything to harm anyone or anything in her lifetime; a couple mistakes were made in her life, but it was just part of being human.

Maria couldn't take the pain anymore. She wanted her life back. She wanted her best friend back! All she wanted was to be normal and be able to move on with everyone else. Why couldn't she just get what she asked for…just once? Maria felt as if her world was turned upside down, which it probably was. Taking a look in her mirror, she stared at her reflection, depression gleaming in her eyes. Oh, how she wished she could be happy at least for one day! She wanted to be normal! Most of all, she wanted to know what it was like to live.

Maybe one day she would find out, but right now, nothing was going to happen at any time soon. A gentleman approached Maria.

"Hey there," he said.

"Hi…can I help you?" she replied shyly.

"You're pretty."

"Um…thanks, I guess…"

"No, I mean it."

Maria took a good look at him. "He's not half bad looking himself," she thought. He had hair the color of the sun, and the most gorgeous green eyes she had ever seen. At six-foot-two, he was at least a head taller than her, for she was only five-foot-five.

"Really? You're not kidding me?"

"No, why would I joke?"

"I don't know. People always used to tease me."

"What for?"

"Ask the people who mocked me that question…How old are you anyway? And who are you? Why did you come up to me in the first place?"

"Sorry about not introducing myself, my name is Antonio, and I'm seventeen. I came up to you because I figured you needed someone to talk to…I hate seeing people alone in this city, since anything can happen at any minute. You know?"

"Yeah, I get what you mean. Thanks for coming up to me though. I appreciate it."

"My pleasure. So, you want to go and get some ice-cream?"

Ice-cream. Best friend. Memories. She couldn't do it. She wanted to tell him what had happened in the past about what happened the last time she went into an ice-cream shop, but she didn't. She was dying for something to eat.

"Sure. Thanks again," she said as she smiled.

"Hey, have you got a boyfriend?" he asked. Whoa, what the hell? Maria thought this was some sort of crazy dream, but it wasn't. It was completely real. Every aspect of it. She ran her hand down his muscular arm gently, feeling the curves of his biceps.

"No, why do you ask?" She knew why he was asking, only she was playing games with his mind.

"I ask because you're too gorgeous not to have one. What's a beautiful girl like you doing alone?"

Maria blushed hard as she replied, "I don't really come out that often." This was true, however. She didn't come out because she was afraid of what would happen to her if she did even the slightest thing wrong.

"I see. Anti-social?"

"If I was anti-social, would I be talking to you?"

"Ah, good point there. Let's go."

"Wait, to where?"

"The ice-cream parlor silly."

"Oh, right. Sorry, I'm just half-brain dead here."

"Everyone has their days, so I can't say anything."

The two of them walked to the ice-cream parlor, with his arm around her waist. She didn't mind it; she actually liked his touch. It felt…welcoming. She actually felt…different…but in a good way this time. Not worrying what her father would think (she wouldn't tell him anyhow), she did the same to him, and he smiled down at her. A genuine smile swiped across her face. "Why is he being so nice to me? I don't see anything special about me." Then again, she was liking the attention she was getting from him. He seemed to be enjoying her company as well.

As they walked into the ice-cream parlor, the cashier, wearing a hair net, apron, and gloves, asked the two of them, "What flavor would you like?"

Maria looked at the choices on the menu. Strawberry, vanilla, banana split…so many choices…they all looked so good too. Beginning to salivate, the cashier repeated herself,

"What flavor would you like, miss?"

She made eye contact with the woman, and said in reply, "I'd like a banana split."

"Good choice."

Antonio looked down at her. "Gosh, you must be starving."

"Yeah, I'm pretty hungry."

"And I'll have a chocolate pecan," he said to the cashier.

"Alright," Ms. DeCarlo, the cashier said as she took two plastic ice-cream cups from behind and made her banana split. Then, she took out yet another cup, and scooped a chunk of chocolate pecan into it.

"That'll be five dollars," she said. Antonio reached into his back pocket for his wallet, which was just his Driver's Permit and some other credit cards with the bills wrapped around it, and held together by a rubber band. He handed her a ten dollar bill, and Ms. DeCarlo pushed the eject button on the cash register, and gave him back a five dollar bill. The two of them sat down at one of the few round-tables with worn-out chairs.

"So…what kind of music do you listen to?" he asked.

"My Chemical Romance, maybe some Paramore, Tenacious D. You know, the good music. Not trashy rap. I hate rap. But hip-hop is alright. Lil Wayne and Kanye West are probably the best in my opinion."

"Those are good. I like pretty much anything except country."

"Yeah, country sucks."

"Ha ha, exactly. Well, that's something we have in common. What else should I know about you?"

"Well, I can warn you that I can get moody really easy. It doesn't take much."

"Oh, really? I guess I better watch my tongue then."

The two of them laughed.

Maria was just finishing her banana split when Antonio suddenly put his face close to hers, as if to tell her something. She looked petrified for a moment.

"Come here," he said.

She did as she was told. Then that's when it happened…he simply couldn't resist but gently kiss her smack-dab on the pucker. Rather surprised, she opened her lips just enough, and let him lead the kiss, eyes closed. After a couple of minutes from making out, his ice-cream had began to melt.

"Your ice-cream's melting."

"And, what's your point?" he said, smiling at her with affectionate eyes.

"I don't know to be honest."

"Exactly. And how did you not have a boyfriend until now again?" He chuckled.

"Um, I don't know…never met anyone…quite like you. You're like, I don't know, different. You were nice to me when I thought there was no one that would understand me. It's like you knew all along, like some sort of god."

"And you're my goddess."

"Aw, you're so sweet." She flashed a toothy grin, then kissed him on the cheek."

"Hey, want to head over to my place?"

"Sure, I don't see why not."

As the two of them walked out of the ice-cream parlor, his hand was placed gently again on the small of her back, giving her a sense of protection.

My God, he's amazing. I've never met anyone like him in my life before, she thought. And yes, indeed, Antonio Vaccaro was one of a kind.

Finally, they had arrived at his house. Antonio got out of his midnight blue Lamborghini Gallardo convertible, which was a 2004 model, and came around to the passenger side to open the door for her. She got out carefully, hoping not to bump the car with her foot.

Adoringly, she stared at the luminous vehicle.

"Damn, how much did that cost?"

"Um, probably somewhere in the hundred thousands."

"Jesus! Where'd you get the money?"

"My dad passed away a year ago, and he left me a couple million in his will."

"Are you serious?!"

"Dead serious."

Talk about rich kid! This guy's loaded! But I can't date him just because of that…No, I wouldn't. Never. He's a great guy, too. He's opened up to me, and now I have to open up to him, she thought. And what she thought was true - she would do anything but lie to herself. That was, as a matter of fact, the last thing she would ever do in her life time.

"Wow…"

"Yeah, enough out here though. Let's go inside."

"OK. Sounds good to me."

Both of them walked into the elegant quarters in which he had called home. Marble tables, high ceilings…everything was just beyond fantastic. Maria had never seen anything quite like it before. She took off her shoes and looked for the kitchen. The entire floor was covered in glass tile. I wonder how easy it is to slip and fall in here, she thought. Just as she was about to step onto the tile, he stopped her.

"Wait! You have to put these on." He then showed her a pair of slippers.

"Slippers?"

"The soles of them are made just for walking on tile."

"Oh, okay. Thanks. Mind if I get myself a glass of water?"

"No, not at all. Make yourself at home as a matter of fact. I'll be down in a second."

Antonio walked upstairs to his room to access his closet, and took off his dress shirt, and came down with a sleeveless muscle shirt on, along with gym shorts.
He entered the kitchen, which was adjacent to the living room, with a velvet couch and flat screen television, and sat next to Maria on the sofa. Making himself comfortable, he wrapped her arm around her, and held her close. Right now, nothing mattered to either of them. In the middle of all the comfort, Maria had decided to speak up.

"You know…you're a really good guy."

"I've gotten that a lot."

"But it's true."

"Ha, and you're not bad yourself, you know. How old are you?"

"Sixteen."

"Ah, not bad. A year apart won't hurt. Hey, has anyone ever told you how gorgeous you are? Besides me earlier?"

"Nope, you'd be the first."

"And I sure damn hope I'm not the last, either."

"So…it's obvious that you work out. What sports do you play?"

"Football and basketball."

"I love football, it's like, I cry when the season is over. Pretty much obsessed with it."

"Oh, really? You understand it too?" he said jokingly.

"Of course I do, I watch it with my dad every fall."

"Ah, have you ever been to a game before? 'Cause if you haven't, then maybe I could take you one day."

"Hm…not personally. I'm usually busy with school, so typically, don't have time."

"Yeah, that's understandable. So, what is it you feel like doing?"

"I don't know, you tell me." Maria opened her lips slightly, just enough to show the tip of her tongue, tilted her head sideways, and kissed him. This time, it was his turn to be shocked. She ran her hand gently through his golden blonde hair, while he cradled her head tenderly in his powerful, yet soft hands. That's when his hands began to move down her back as they grasped the bottom of her shirt. She stopped kissing him for a second.

"Hold your horse. If you think you're going to get me to sleep with you, then it's best you think again."

Damn it, he thought. You're so beautiful…how can any guy resist not to sleep with you? But I have to respect your wishes, so I won't…just for you.
"Alright, fine. I won't move them any further. Just up and down your back, if that's okay with you?"

"Yeah, that's fine, just don't get too serious too soon please." As soon as she pronounced the last syllable, both of them continued what they were last doing before she spoke out - kissing.

After about ten minutes, they stopped again. Antonio spoke.

"You're a really good kisser, you know that? I don't believe you that you've never had a boyfriend…"

"Oh, I have, but it was a really long time ago, so I don't remember it clearly."

"Don't make yourself remember. Just focus on the present, not the past." Those words hit home for her. She could never tell him, Antonio Vaccaro, that she had dwelled on the past…until now. Now, everything that she wish she could have had before, was starting to come to her. Relief struck Maria as she realized that she could move on. All it took was one person to do just that.

"Just out of curiosity…" she started to say.

"Yes? What is it?"

"What's your last name? I was just wondering."

"Vaccaro. What's yours?"

"Angelo."

"Maria Angelo, eh? Beautiful name."

Knowing she couldn't help it, she blushed hard. Her face turned red, but she didn't mind. It was in a good way. At least it wasn't red from crying.

"Aw, you blushed. You're so adorable."

"Yeah, you are too." Maria smiled as she looked up at him.

"So, are we officially boyfriend and girlfriend?"

"Yeah." It had been seven two years since Maria had had an actual boyfriend, one that actually cared for her - or at least she thought. Vinny Valentino, who was now her ex-boyfriend, had ended up breaking her heart by cheating on her with another girl. She recalled the very day that it had happened.

The two of them went to the movies together one day, and had went to see Ocean's Eleven. Vinny had his arm around her, his muscles showing, holding her head close to his muscular chest. Maria had good times with Vinny; the two of them laughed and cried together; they endured the hardships and cherished the good times they both had together. At first, Maria thought he had been her one and only. Turns out he didn't care enough to consider her feelings when he cheated on her. She caught Vinny making out with a wannabe skater girl in the hallway at the movies, stomped out, and drove home.

Once she arrived home, she put her head out of the window of her fifth-story tenement house, and screamed at the top of her lungs. Just about everyone living around her complained, but she didn't care at the time. She was so frustrated! She just couldn't believe how he would even dare to cheat on her. "God damn it! He's got enough guts to cheat on me! What a loser!" she said furiously. Maria's face turned red with rage at the idea of thinking about it. The only thing to do, was to not think about this, and everything would be fine - well, at least most of her life for that matter.

That was in the past. Stop thinking about it. Just focus on the present…just like Antonio said. Take his word. For your own sake, her conscious reminded her. In reply, her subconscious said:

I can't. It's nearly impossible. As much as I'm interested in Antonio now, Vinny keeps reappearing.

Now it was basically a battle between her conscious and subconscious. Maria's conscious was taking Antonio's side, and her subconscious was taking hers. The ultimate question awaited her: which one should she go with - her conscious, or subconscious? Both made valid points, but Maria began to edge along with her conscious. Yes, that would be her final decision. She had to focus on the present, or else she would just end up being the same person she was before she even met Antonio, and she didn't want him to see her that way. He wouldn't be able to stand it.

Are you…alright?" Antonio finally asked.

He found out she was thinking, didn't he?

"Yeah, I'm completely fine," she lied.

"Are you positive about that? 'Cause if you're not okay, don't be afraid to tell me…you know I won't ever hurt you…" He snuggled up closer to her on the mahogany velvet sofa in his living room, put his arm around her shoulders, and lay her head against his chest affectionately. He then rested his chin lightly on the top of her head, and stroked her dark brown brunette hair gently, which she had taken five minutes to straighten just before she left the house earlier on that day.

She had forgotten all about her younger brother, Vincent, after the good time she was having with Antonio. He was only twelve years old, and only God knows what he would do to their already-small tenement house during the day. Maria knew she had to go home…but she didn't want to. There was something about this house, with its elegancy and eye-pleasing appearance, that made her want to stay. Decisively, shed asked,

"Hey, do you have a phone in here or something? I need to call my brother."

"Yeah, here. You can use my cell. We don't have a house phone."

"Okay, thanks. Hey, do you think we're moving…too fast?"

"What you mean?"

"Like, I just met you, yet we're already kissing…"
This was true. He was getting too emotional, too fast. Maria had learned before that the sooner they get you to "commit," the higher your chances of getting hurt are. She didn't want to take that risk again; the last time it happened, it was even worse since it was her first love…which was with Vinny Valentino back when she was fourteen years of age.

"Hm…" he said as she dialed her house phone number. Anxiously, she waited for Vincent to answer.

"Hello? Who's this?" he said.

"Vincent, it's me."

"Oh, hey. What you need?"

"Well, I won't be home until tomorrow morning probably. Can you tell Dad that when he gets home from work please? Tell him I'll drive by at around ten A.M."

"Yeah, can I ask why you're not coming home tonight though?"

"Not right now, but I'll tell you tomorrow only if you swear to keep your damn mouth shut. Got it?"

"Got it. Bye."

"Bye, Vince. Good night." Maria hung up the phone. She noticed that she was sitting on Antonio's lap now, with her back facing the flat screen television, which hung neatly on the smooth wall. Wait, how'd this happen? A better question, however, would be: did it matter how it happened?

Not really.

"Afraid to tell your brother what was going to happen?"

"A bit. He's only twelve."

"I see where you're coming from. He's a bit too young to understand yet."

"Yup," she said in agreement.

"I'm probably guessing now that you want to spend the night here?"

"Would be nice. Do you mind?"

"No, not at all. You want to sleep in the same bed, or in a different room?" Oh, great. Did he have to turn this into a sex joke? Seriously. But what was her answer? He was waiting…

"Um, I don't know. Whatever floats your boat I guess."

"Alright."

* * *

Each of them went to a separate bedroom, both with California king size bends, furnished with golden comforters and light grey, almost silver, sheets. Yet again, she was surprised by the luxury of it all. She had never seen anyone live such a lifestyle with such few worries - and so much money.

"Like it?"

"DUH!"

"Ha ha, sweet dreams my angel," he said as he kissed her gently on the lips, closed the door, and went to his own bed room.

"Good night." Maria stripped down the golden comforter and light grey bed sheets on the California king bed, and tried to make herself comfortable. She squirmed around until she was able to find a suitable position, and hopefully she wouldn't move during the night (since when you move while you sleep, it sometimes wakes you up).

As she shut her eyes peacefully, for the first time, her mind wandered into a sound sleep. Nothing bothered her during the night; she was comforted by Antonio's presence in the next room, which was right next to hers. She wished she could live here. Everything just caught her by surprise, and she was sure there were multiple rooms in the mansion she would be willing to explore. If there was a foosball table, she was bound to challenge him to a match - she used to beat all of her friends in foosball, scoring ten points per game. Everyone would get mad, and she would always say to them: I'm good, but it's partly your fault for being so bad at it (joking of course). The good times she had began to erupt yet again in her mind.

Maria missed her friends like hell. It's too bad they all lived in different parts of the state, and each lived in parts so far away from each other, it would take more than an hour just to get from one place to the other. Therefore, there were rarely any visits…unless it was summertime and there was no school. Summer was a time of no worries. No one cared what happened; it only came every nine months, and it always would hold the best days of anyone's life. Unfortunately, it wasn't summer now.

It was winter. She pulled the golden comforter over her head, trying to keep herself warm from the piercing cold of New York. Outside, she heard a big plop! sound.

What was that…? she wondered. Maria got out of bed, and opened the luxurious glass window. Snow was falling everywhere, and there must have been at least an inch and a half by now. Oh, how she wanted to go outside! It was too late at night, though. The snow brought more memories.

Maria, Vincent, and her father, Vito, used to go outside and mess around in the snow. Vincent would take a small snow ball, put it back down into the snow, and continually roll it until it formed the bottom of a snow man, then continue, but let the balls get smaller as he stacked them. Maria and her father would have snow ball fights, and then hug after one of them had won fair and square.

Those were the good times, and she wanted to bring back that memory. Being out in the snow during the winter made her feel like a kid again; like she had nothing to lose, and definitely nothing to worry about. Those days were long gone…New York has turn into something she barely recognizes anymore. People from all parts of the state would get into fights with each other, and it was nothing new when it came onto the morning news. As long as she lived, humans will be humans, and there was nothing she could do to stop anyone. Nothing at all.