September 10, 2005

Sonny's Carpenter Chronicles: Sonny Came Home

"Sonny Came Home"

Sonny came home. He was finally able to get out of the life. But even during the debate of the how, the when, and the why, he often pondered what he would do with his life once it was all said and done. He was prepared to start all over since things had gotten to the point where everyone had started to abandon him; everyone except Kristina.

He had made phone calls to the people he knew from Port Charles. They refused to answer. And when one did answer his call, they told him that he was too dangerous to even stand next to at a place so innocent as Kelly's. The one phone call that really made it all sink in and made him drag his ass to the DA's office was to Robin.

He thought it would be a great idea to have his little sister meet his little Princess for the first time. His palms were sweating profusely as he held the phone to his ear hoping she was still that understanding, put it all in perspective Robin. But she, too, saw it fit to enact a little tough love.

"Hey Sonny. I'd love to talk, but I really can't.

"Why is that?" Sonny's heart was beating at an unmatchable speed. He knew what she meant, but he didn't want to believe it. He tried to find some type of approval in her voice, but all he found was the same disappointment.

"I have patients to see. You know. People who truly want to live."

"But what does that mean?" Sonny questioned like a frustrated child as the click of her hang-up rung in his ear.

That day; the day that broke his heart. How would he explain to his precious that he had no one else left in his life but her? He refused to have someone barely tall beyond his knee look at him in pity.

He marched into the DA's office and slapped down the falsified documents detailing his warehouse activities with Sammy Tagliotti and Co. It was a group effort with him and his enemies to come up with false records to hand over to the DA Scottie Baldwin and the Feds. This way Sonny was free from selling out, but able to keep the Feds off of his ass. He didn't figure the plan to work, but he was hoping at least for the short-term.

They gathered together in one of their secret meetings and decided the way to get Sonny out of the business.

"It's do or die Corinthos." Sammy scoffed and kicked back at the head of the table.

Sonny tried not to show any signs of desperation. He calmly forfeited all of his properties, secret accounts, and pride.

"I'm giving you all everything I have but the shirt on my back. However you choose to break it up is up to you." Sonny declared as he slid all of his personal documents into the middle of the table.

Sammy grabbed the files and passed them around to the other heads of the families. "You do realize you'll never have a real life out there Corinthos? I'm just warning you."

Sonny nodded in agreement. "As long as I still have my daughter. I guess that's all that matters."

He walked out the warehouse with a slam of the door at his back and without the briefcase he came in with. He looked down at himself and noticed his shoes still shiny and his pants still nicely pressed. He was so nervous that morning; he made sure every wrinkle was ironed out smooth. Yanking off his suit coat, he realized he no longer had any money. He had cleaned out his accounts to give to the families and he handed over his credit cards to Scottie and the Feds.

He dropped the coat on the ground and started to search his pockets finding nothing but the lint lining the interior.

"I don't know if I've ever been here before. I don't even have money for a cab." Sonny mumbles to himself and feels a panic attack about to come on. He starts out towards the street and decides to pick a direction.

Who knew a big city the size of Manhattan would suffocate him so quickly. As his feet pounded the pavement his breathing became heavy. The sights of places where he no longer fit in overwhelmed his vision. He strolled past Tiffany and Co and stopped at its entrance for a moment realizing if he walked in the door he could no longer throw around the name Sonny Corinthos. He decided against even trying and continued on down the street.

His slow and deliberate saunter annoyed some. At one point he was even pushed aside with a phony "I'm sorry" tossed back by the pusher. It became too much for him to take and it was just the first day. A calendar appeared in his head and all he could do is count the many days he would spend like this wondering what the hell to do next.

He stopped in front of a bakery with a help wanted sign and leaned his tired body against the building to take a moment to think. A limo pulls up in front of him and the tinted window rolls down. He lets out a laugh to keep from crying. Alexis pulls herself up over the windowsill and beams with a smile.

"Did you find a job Dear?" She lets out a chuckle and awaits his response.

"No. Not having much luck." Sonny shrugs his shoulders and tries not to look too miserable.

"Did you actually walk into the establishments and request an application?"

Sonny runs his tongue across his lips and tries not to look her in the eye.

"Hello? Is Michael Corinthos there?" Alexis leans even further over the window hoping for a response.

"I'll do it tomorrow. I'm worn out. It's been an emotional day you know."

"Where do you expect you're going to live Dear?" Alexis tilts her head in false perplexity.

"Uh. Well. That's a damn good question. I really don't know the answer."

"Well. You can't live with me. Especially not today since you've told both the Feds and the Families to take a flying leap. But I do have a suggestion. Not the best, but better than the streets of New York."

"What's that?"

"Benson Hurst."

Sonny stares at Alexis with a touch of resentment. He starts to wonder if she's mocking him.

"There's nothing left for me in Benson Hurst."

Alexis loses her smirk and tries to take on a more serious air. "You know some people with nothing would kill for four walls, a roof, and a concrete slab. I know you think I'm being hard on you right now, but I'm really trying to help…"

"…Some bad things happened there and you know it."

"I know Sonny. But I see some wonderful things coming out of the experience. Everyone needs a Helena in their life, dead or alive. Deke is your Helena. Embrace him. Show him who's the boss."

Alexis looks at Sonny to see if she made the idea any more appealing. She notices his eyes lost in space and realizes he's no longer paying much attention.

"Would you like a lift to Benson Hurst?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"Well, you can stand in front of this bakery like an idiot. Or you can go home."

Sonny ponders the idea for another moment, but his stomach starts to turn. The thought of going back to that house makes him ill, but he tries to hold it together in her presence. He takes her up on the offer and almost faints once in the backseat.

As they ride down the city streets slowly turning dark, his fear of that house starts to grow. Once over the bridge and down a couple of roads, the limo turns onto the street of Sonny's childhood. He looks through the window at the house he hadn't seen in years. He swore he'd never look back, but obviously he lied.

"Are you going to get out of my limo?"

Sonny rolls down the window and notices the moon shining in the sky. "It really is dark out here."

Alexis notices his hands shaking and she thinks she see tears well up in his eyes. For once she finally realizes his fears of his past. He talked about them all the time. The first time made her breathless. She couldn't believe what he had been through, but after knowing him for so long, she became immune to his recollections. But looking at him gripping tight onto the car door sent chills up her spine.

"If I didn't have to meet with my partners so early tomorrow I would humor you, but I can't."

Sonny continues to exam the house from the limo. He notices the wear; some broken windows and the uncut grass. He sits back and looks at Alexis.

"Can I steal a pen and paper?"

"Sure. Will you get out of my limo?"

"Yea."

Alexis hands Sonny a pad and a pen. He nods a thank you and slowly gets out of the limo. After he closes the door, Alexis leans out the window.

"Hey Sonny. I know you're afraid. I still get scared when I visit that place where my mother was killed. It's not easy. But if we never face our fears how do we grow?"

Sonny waves goodbye to her limo driving off. He stares at the dilapidated house in front of him. The crickets chirp loud as the moon continues to beam. He longs for a warm bed and some type of comfort, but from scanning the house at a safe distance, he realizes that Alexis was right. He finally had the opportunity to embrace his past and take back his pride. It was time to build himself a new home.