Disclaimer: I don't own any of the MASH characters; this is strictly for fun

Boston October 1954

Margaret awoke to the sound of a child's giggling. When she opened her eyes she saw her daughter's tiny smiling face not even two inches away from her own. Smiling Margaret sat up pulling Emma in her lap at the same time. Andy stood in the doorway of their bedroom with a huge grin on his face. Ever since she'd accepted his marriage proposal last night, he hadn't been able to stop smiling. At that moment he heard the phone ringing downstairs.

"Hello?"

"Hi, I'm glad I caught you guys before you went out celebrating."

"Aren't you at work today Trapp?"

"Yup, that's why I called"

"I don't think I want to hear the rest" Andy replied

"We really need your help up here, we've got about 3 patients in critical condition lined up to go to the OR, and we're short staffed because Davis is still out on vacation."

"Just give me about 20mins to get there"

"See ya then"

By this time Margaret had gotten dressed and had come downstairs to see who was on the phone.

"Was that Trapp?"

"Yeah he needs me to come in"

"But we're supposed to take Emma to the beach today"
"I'm sorry baby" he said as he leaned down to hug her "I promise to make it up to you"

"You'd better" she replied standing on her tiptoes to kiss him

After he'd left to go to work, Margaret decided that she'd still take Emma to the beach. After inviting Samantha, the three girls took off for a fun day at the beach.

Margaret and Sam lye on the beach sunbathing as Emma played in the sand.

"I can't believe you're getting married again Margaret"

"Actually I wouldn't admit it to Andy but I really am nervous about it. I love him, I really do, but I just feel like I'm doing wrong by Emma's real father.

"Margaret, Andy is the real father. It takes more than a donation of sperm to be a father. Andy was there to watch her learn to crawl, he was there to get up with her in the middle of the night, and he was there when you brought her home from the hospital. All of this for a child that he knows isn't even biologically his. You'll never find a better man than that"

"You know at times I thought I was in love with her real father. Sometimes, when he looked at me I even fooled myself into believing that I saw something there in his eyes. That maybe he felt the same way. That's what I love so much about Andy. He lets me know everyday how much he loves and needs me. There's no guessing. He's not afraid to show his true feelings. He's perfect for Emma and me."

So why can't I get him off my mind, Margaret silently added to herself.

Later that evening Margaret and Andy were sitting around the living room of Trapper's house with their closest friends discussing wedding plans. At times the conversation was very serious and then the whole group would bust out laughing at some crazy suggestion.

"John you've been my best friend for over a year" Andy was saying "and I want you to be my best man. Anyway, you have to because you even introduced us."

"I'd be honored" Trapper replied sincerely.

Around 10:00 the gang decided it'd be best to call it a night. Emma was already fast asleep. Trapper and Louise knew it was past Kathy and Becky's normal bedtime.

Trapper stood up and stretched. "Do you guys need a ride home?"

"I do" Sam replied standing up.

"It's such a beautiful night we'll just walk if it's ok with you Margaret" Andy said as he pulled Margaret to her feet.

"That sounds wonderful to me"

As Trapper and Sam set off towards her apartment, Andy and Margaret set out on foot in the opposite direction heading home. They walked slowly, enjoying the twinkling stars and just being together. Andy was carrying Emma in the crook of his left arm and had his right arm wrapped around Margaret's waist.

Later that night after Emma was put to bed, Margaret lye in bed awake. Andy was already sound asleep. They had made love and then just held each other as he dosed off to sleep. All she could think of was their upcoming marriage. In less than 2 weeks she would be married again. Maybe I should push the wedding date back a little, she thought to herself. But she didn't want to hurt him. He was such a wonderful man and doctor. Since Emma was born she'd only worked part-time. Andy took care of them both financially and emotionally. What's more important was the fact that he loved her with all of heart. As she began to get sleepier she allowed her mind to wander. Memories, and voices for the past started flooding back.

Flashback

She sat in her tent not knowing what to do. She was unmarried and she highly suspected that she was pregnant. The one person that she could usually confide in was the one person that she couldn't go to this time. How would he react if she told him? She decided to request some R&R in Tokyo, and she'd get a pregnancy test done there. The results were exactly what she'd thought they would be. Now the question was how to tell him. It was all in the timing. She planned a perfect time. Potter had just told them all about a 4th of July Beach Trip. That would be the perfect time and setting. Once there she'd finally summoned up enough courage to tell him. She called him to the side.

"Hawkeye, I need to talk to you"

"I already know what you're going to say" he said, interrupting her. "You find me irresistible in these shorts".

"It's important" Margaret had an annoyed look on her face.

"Are you ok Margaret" Hawkeye asked with a concerned look on his face.

"Hawkeye, I consider you a really close friend" she started

"Hey Hawk"

They both turned around to see BJ approaching. "We're starting a game of volleyball and we need some more players, uh….I didn't interrupt anything Did I?"

"No!" Margaret said quickly, "Let's play, we'll probably have to go back soon anyway"

As the three started walking toward the waiting players, Hawk reached out to slow Margaret down a little bit. When they'd lagged behind enough, Hawkeye whispered "I thought you needed to talk?"

"It's nothing that can't wait" she'd already lost her nerve.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive"

"Ok, but let's talk as soon as we get back to the 4077th" Hawk replied, still not convinced.

"It's a deal"

They were never able to have that talk. After that horrible bus ride home, Hawkeye wasn't the same. Then he'd had to go into a mental institution. When he'd come back he was afraid to be around children. How could she possibly tell him now? The Peace talks were going good and she knew that she may not have much time left to tell him. At the party they'd thrown for Erin and the little Korean child's birthday, she decided to try again. She watched Sidney walk away leaving Hawkeye sitting alone by the river. She decided to take this opportunity and slowly started walking down the hill toward him.

"Hawkeye" she said, startling him and as he turned around she could see tears in his eyes.

"Hi Margaret"

"Aren't you going to join the others…they have cake?"

"No….I think I'll stay down here for awhile, it's quiet and peaceful."

"Hawk, you know you can confide in me" she said sitting down beside him and gently laying her hand on his arm, "Lord knows you've always been here for me"

"Margaret, I'm so afraid" he said as the tears started to fall from his eyes

"Of what" she asked, tentively putting her arms around him, pulling him towards her.

As he leaned closer into her embrace and lay his head on her shoulder the tears started to fall more freely.

"I'm afraid that I'll never move past this, that I'll always be uncomfortable around children. What if I have my own one day and I'm afraid to hold them?"

"I'm sure with therapy and time you'll move past this. We've all seen horrible things in this war, things we should never have had to see, but I can almost see the end now. I

Don't think this war is going to last much longer. Then we'll all be home, safe with our families."

Leaning back a little bit to look into her eyes he said "I hope you're right Margaret"

"It just takes time Hawk" she said as he lay his head back on her shoulder.

"What would I do without you Margaret? You're the only one that hasn't left me yet. Trapper left. BJ left, but they made him come back. You've been with me since the beginning."

"I'll always be here for you Hawk" she said realizing at that moment just how much she meant it. She lay her head against his and tears came to her eyes as the realized that for the first time in her life she cared more about someone else's happiness than she cared about her own. For Hawkeye's sake she couldn't tell him about their child. She loved him enough to let him go.

Then peace had been declared. She'd told everyone that she had chosen to work in a hospital in the states, when in truth that's all she could do. She wouldn't be able to stay in the army much longer. Next came the bittersweet farewells. She almost lost it when it was their turn to say goodbye. She couldn't find any words to say, but then again neither could he. Could that have meant that he felt the same way she now wondered? Once she arrived at the 8063rd she knew that she had to start planning. Not just for her sake, but for her unborn child. She'd called one of her best friends that she'd managed to keep in touch with over the years. A fellow army brat like herself named Samantha. Sam, having just come out of a bad relationship and needing a change of scenery, agreed to move to Boston with Margaret. Boston was the most logical place to go Margaret had said, trying to rationalize her decision to herself and Sam. After all her uncle basically ran Boston Mercy, so they would be able to get good jobs there. Plus she knew a couple of people in Boston like Charles and even Trapper. In her heart she knew that the real reason she'd said Boston was because she needed to feel close to Hawkeye, yet be far enough away so that he'd probably never see her.

At first things had been hard. She knew that Trapper lived in Boston, but she hadn't planned on him working at Boston Mercy. For the first month or so he was terrible. He pulled so many horrible jokes and pranks on her. When he saw that she had changed and wasn't the Major that he'd been stuck with in Korea, their relationship started to change. They started to confide in each other and had become really close friends. Then there was his best friend Andy. Andy was gorgeous. He was perfectly built and he had solid black hair. His personality reminded her so much of Hawkeye. Maybe that's why she was secretly attracted to him.

One day she was standing outside of the hospital waiting for Trapper to come pick her up. He'd promised to take her home that day. He was already 10 minutes late. She absentmindedly rubbed her stomach. It was getting bigger and loose clothes wouldn't be able to hide it much longer. So far the only people that knew of her "condition" were Sam and herself.

"What kind of man would stand up a lady as pretty as you" a masculine voice asked.

"Trapper should be here any moment" Margaret hated the fact that she blushed when Andy complimented her. Could she actually have feelings for this man? It's probably just the hormones she rationalized.

"He asked me to take you home" Andy responded with a sly grin "he said something about having business to attend to, is that ok with you?"

"Sure, I wouldn't want to walk home" Margaret said with a smile.

"Wait right here, I'll bring the car around"

Margaret was about to say she could just walk with him, but he was already gone. It only took a minute or two for Andy to pull up right in front of her. He hopped out of the car and came to her side to open her door for her.

"So would you like to go get dinner?"

As much as she'd have liked to, she had politely declined his invitation. It would be unfair to him, with her condition.

When they'd arrived at her apartment, he'd walked her to the door. Just as she was about to walk in he'd called her name.

"Margaret?"

"Yea?" she said turning around

He seemed almost shy and hesitant as to what he should say. Finally he looked at her.

"I really like you…..and I guess what I'd really like to know is why you always turn me down?

"Can we talk about this inside?"

"Sure" he replied as he followed her in.

She gestured for him to sit on the sofa, and she sat down on the opposite end.

"Andy….you're a very good friend, and sometimes I do feel that there may be a little more to it, but it's nothing that we can pursue"

"Why not?" he asked with confusion written all over his face.

"I'm pregnant."

The shocked look on his face told her everything that she needed to know.

"I'm really busy, so if you could just let yourself out, and keep this to yourself" she was saying as she stood up to walk into the next room.

"Wait!" he said, finally pulling himself together.

"Andy it's ok, really."

"So is the father coming to meet you here?"

"The father isn't in the picture"

"Then why can't you see me?"

"Are you crazy, it'd ruin your reputation!"

"Look, I know that I haven't known you for long, but I care about you. Just give me a chance. That's all I'm asking for. And who cares what people think?"

"So…..is that dinner invitation still open, you know I am eating for two…."

end flashback

She loved Andy so much. He'd saved her in so many ways. She was almost sure that she was over Hawkeye. Now if she could just get over this nagging feeling of guilt about not even giving Hawk that chance to know his 1st and only daughter.

To be continued...