Title: Infatuation
Author: Sefilin (sefilin@yahoo.com)
Teaser: Ken finds himself suddenly infatuated with Aya
Pairing: YoujixAya
Rating: PG
Warnings/Spoilers: Shounen ai. No spoilers except for very minor Aya-chan
and Asuka ones.
URL: http://www.geocities.com/sefilin/
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Infatuation
A Weiß Kreuz Shounen ai Fic
By Sefilin
======================================================================
Weiß Kreuz copyright Project Weiß, Kyoko Tsuchiya, Koyasu Takehito, and
associated parties
==========
It was raining and he was wet. And therefore miserable, cold and
irritable, wishing he was finished with his deliveries so he could go
home, dry off and get warm. A cup of hot chocolate would do wonders
for all that ailed him, but first he had to make another few
deliveries. Grumbling, he left the shelter of the building where he'd
just dropped off a large arrangement of lilies and roses and headed
once more into the downpour. His mumbled complaints continued as he
started the delivery bike and pulled out into the light traffic that
had decided rain was no bar to activity. At least no one was around to
hear him. He could just imagine Aya staring at him in disapproval and
Omi trying to cheer him up. Worse than that, though, would be Youji
trying to outdo him.
Ken wiped the moisture off his goggles and sighed, his mutterings
drifting into silence. If only he was done so he could go home and make fun of Youji's complaining instead.
A flash of red, startling in the dull misty grey of the rain
caught his attention as he paused at traffic lights. Glancing across
in that direction, he blinked.
Aya?
The redhead was standing beneath the awning of a small cafe,
watching the rain coming down with a typically blank expression on his
face. Then, without warning he stepped out into the rain, and, instead
of moving off at a fast pace in whatever direction he was going, he
hesitated. The hair that had caught his attention originally, was
darker now, drowned by water that continued on down pale arms and
cloth-covered chest, the black fabric of his t-shirt molding gleefully
to his form.
But what held the majority of Ken's attention was the tilt of
Aya's face. It was turned towards the sky, marble planes softened into
something approaching contentment. Ken had never seen such tranquility
on his teammate's face and found himself unable to tear his eyes away,
especially when a tiny smile drifted across lips that were suddenly
lush in their relaxed state.
Then Aya lowered his face, the smile still etched upon his lips
and glowing softly in his eyes as he dug his hands deep into his
pockets and began to walk away.
Dazed and dizzy, Ken let out the breath he'd been holding in
order to draw another, allowing fresh, cool air to wash away some of
the dizziness, though not the sense of wonder he now felt. Nor did it
ease the heavy beating of his heart as it tried to contain something
unnamed.
Aya was beautiful.
Somehow, he'd never noticed that before.
The redhead disappeared around a corner and Ken finally pulled
his eyes away, a sigh emerging from somewhere deep within him that had
just been touched by beauty and perhaps something else.
It occured to him then, as he noticed he'd missed the green, to
be glad Aya hadn't seemed to notice him and his face flushed in
embarassment at the very thought.
==========
Ken lay back, his chest heaving as he stared up at the ceiling
above him. The darkness of night hid the face that bloomed with bright
colour and he shifted uncomfortably on the sheets, his skin more
sensitive than usual. The vague stickiness spread across his thighs
and chest unnerved him as it hadn't since the first time he'd had a wet
dream years ago.
But he had the most unpleasant feeling that his dream hadn't
featured the same harmless fantasies as they had the night before. All
he could remember, though, were strands of silky red hair running
through his restless fingers overlaid by a voluptuous sensuality he
hadn't felt since before Weiß. He closed his eyes against thought and
drifted lightly in the pleasurable, though uncomfortable, haze of
repleteness.
An image grew against his eyelids, one that had become familiar
over the past few hours. In amazing detail, Aya appeared, head tipped
peacefully back as crystalline rain fell against his pale face.
Abruptly sitting up, Ken swung his legs over the side of the bed and
headed for the tiny bathroom in his apartment, swearing quietly to
himself in an attempt to banish the image. He turned the shower on and
stepped under the spray, washing away the physical evidence of the hazy
dream, wishing he didn't know who it's redheaded shadow was - even if
he didn't remember the dream itself.
Why, he railed to himself mentally? Why after all this time did
he suddenly find himself attracted to Aya when he never had before?
Sure, he'd always been fascinated by the redhead who was so very
different from himself, but he'd never had the smallest interest in
sleeping with him; hadn't even liked him very much. And now, thanks to
a single glimpse of an Aya he hadn't seen before, he was dreaming about
the being the other assassin's lover.
He sighed, leaning back against the wall of the shower, allowing
the water to run over him, unimpeded now that he was clean. He'd
ignore the desire he was currently feeling until it went away, he
decided. If it had arrived suddenly, it could surely leave that way
too, and in a week everything would be back to normal.
Satisfied with his plan, Ken towelled himself dry and flung
himself back on his bed in the hope of catching a few more hours of
sleep before work the next morning. He closed his eyes and snuggled
his damp hair into the pillow, curling into the duvet and making
himself comfortable. He smiled to himself and allowed his mind to
drift.
It flew back to earlier that day when he'd arrived back at the
Koneko no Sumi ie to hear that Omi had aced another test. Youji had
been busy congratulating him and Ken had joined in, laughing at the
younger assassin's slight embarrassment. It was good that Omi was
still going to school, that he was conscientious enough to actually
study in the hopes of being able to get into a good university and
leave his current job behind. Of all of them, Omi was the most likely
to be able to go back to having a normal life, even if he'd been Weiß
for longer than the rest of them. He'd likely find it difficult to
readjust, though no one would guess it by observing him.
The rest of them were almost too old to start again and even if
they could, what would they do? The only thing Ken would want to do
was play soccer, maybe coach, and that was unlikely given his previous
J-League experience. Someone would recognise him and mention that he
was supposed to be dead and then where would he be?
A few customers who had heard the news also made congratulatory
murmurs in Omi's direction and Ken had laughed at the blush that
bloomed on the youngest assassin's cheeks. Then he'd started as a
presence moved up to stand behind him and a familiar voice had offered
quiet congratulations before moving to don an apron.
Ken had then followed Aya with his eyes, admiring the economy of
graceful movement and play of light against bright hair...
Ken abruptly shook his head and decided allowing his thoughts to
drift wasn't a good idea if they were going to end up back with the
redhead. So he got up, went for a run and, exhausted, dropped asleep
as soon as he got back, images of red and violet still playing in his
mind.
==========
"Ken likes you."
Aya straightened, sending a confused and annoyed glance across at
his blonde companion, noting the ever-present cigarette and wishing
he'd put the damn thing out. They were working together in the shop,
Omi off at school and Ken busy teaching the neighbourhood kids soccer,
"What?"
"Ken. He likes you."
Aya ran a hand over the back of his neck as he gazed at Youji,
hoping something would enlighten him as to where the other man was
going with that, "So?"
Youji's lips tilted up in the smile that Aya loved and hated, the
one that said 'I know something you don't know' and let his eyes roam
over the redhead's body, "He _likes_ you, Aya."
Drawing his brows together even further, Aya stared back, "So?"
A heavy sigh, "You really don't care, do you?"
"Why should I? Ken can do whatever he likes as long as he
doesn't bother me with it," and he went back to clipping the stems of
the flowers he'd be using for an arrangement.
He noticed the soft sounds of footsteps coming closer, but chose
to ignore them, until a hand brushed his shoulder, sliding around his
neck to settle on his other shoulder. He paused, Youji's arm lying
lightly across his throat, and waited for whatever it was Youji felt he
had to do or say.
A warm breath of air hit his ear and he shivered involuntarily,
drawing in a sharp lungful of air.
"Aya..." lips brushed against his ear then drifted downwards,
touching the vulnerable skin just below his ear and the nape of his
neck. The shiver came again, stronger this time and Aya's shoulders
tensed as he prepared to push his fellow assassin away.
Abruptly Youji lifted a hand to cover his mouth, burying his face
at the curve of shoulder and neck and pressed firmly against Aya's
back. A tongue lapped at his skin and he sagged, faint prickles of ice
and fire radiating out from that point of contact. His head fell back
and the flower and clippers were dropped lightly onto the table as
Youji tasted him again, his other hand drifting around to settle
against Aya's abdomen.
"Be nice to him."
Aya's eyes fluttered in confusion, "Him?"
A smile stretched Youji's mouth, "Ken."
"Aa," Aya recalled Youji's statement of a few moments ago, but
dismissed it again as unimportant. He wasn't interested in Ken.
"But, you're mine, Aya. Remember that too," the words were
breathed into his ear as Youji pulled away, swinging his chair around
and brushing Aya's lips lightly, lingeringly with his own. Then Aya
was watching his back as he walked back to the counter and picked up
the cigarette he'd left on the ashtray, going back to reading his
magazine and waiting for customers to show up.
Aya sighed and turned himself back around, unsure how he felt
about the statement of possession. There was a slight warmth in his
chest combined with a coldness in the pit of his stomach and a
tightness in his throat. The ambiguity was something he'd been getting
used to ever since he'd slept with Youji the first time. He still
didn't know whether he liked their relationship, whether he wanted it
or even whether he wanted Youji, but he tolerated it because he wasn't
sure if he didn't. Until he was sure one way or the other, he expected
things would go on much the way they had been.
A few clips later, he inserted the red peony in between the dark
fronds of green and the lighter strands of grass that spread out like a
corona above them. He contemplated the precise arrangement of flora
and sighed, not completely happy with it, but it would do for a shelf
arrangement. Perfection wasn't something you could attain, except by
luck, in a business where time was at a premium.
There was the occasional afternoon where things were quiet enough
for him to sit down and practice the art Shion had first taught him.
It was at such times, like when he performed kata with his katana, that
everything dropped away and he lived in a state of harmony. Body and
mind as one - it was very close to being extacy for him. Aya heaved an
internal sigh; not that it ever lasted very long. As soon as he
returned to himself, the rage and emptiness returned.
Even Takatori's death and Aya-chan's waking hadn't helped with
that.
Standing, Aya moved to the window, removing a previous
arrangement and putting the new one in its place. He took the old
arrangement and set it aside, knowing Aya-chan would want it, before
moving back to the table and clearing up the mess of grass fronds,
leaves and pieces of stem. Then he swept the floor, as conscientious
in his work here as when hunting the darkness.
Youji finished his cigarette and flicked the ash onto the tile
floor without care for the fact that Aya had just swept there, absorbed
as he was in one of the magazines he regularly bought. Clenching his
teeth, the redhead glared for long moments until Youji looked up
questioningly.
"Aya?"
He stared for a moment, wondering why Youji persisted in smoking
inside, then his lip curled slightly and he shook his head in disgust
before sweeping over that spot again. He'd long ago decided that
verbally complaining to Youji was completely unhelpful, but stoically
cleaning up after him had the affect of - occasionally - making him
feel guilty enough to help. And this seemed to be one of those times,
because he sighed and dumped the ashes from the ashtray into the
rubbish before finding a cloth and wiping down the benches. When Aya
began to restock supplies, Youji joined in with a single long-suffering
look cast in his direction.
Careful to keep his tiny smirk to himself, Aya ignored the look
and continued on with his work. Then Ken walked back inside, trailing
tiny bits of grass cuttings across the floor and he growled, "Watch
it!"
Ken froze and sent him a startled glance, saw what he was doing,
looked back at the trail he was leaving and ducked his head, "Ah,
gomen, Aya."
He quickly rushed across the shop and out the back, leaving Aya
contemplating the trail of grass and the pleasure possible in violence
against inconsiderate workmates. Then the broom was being taken from
him and Ken apologised again while beginning to clean up the mess he'd
made.
Speechless, Aya watched as Ken proceeded to sweep the entire shop
again, a slight blush painting his cheeks when he noticed Aya's
attention. Behind him, Youji growled softly and tried to slam his
magazine shut, without real success.
==========
Youji couldn't decide whether to deck Ken or shake Aya and the
indecision was frustrating him as much as it's cause.
The brunette had once again begun his recent habit of being
incredibly helpful to the redhead, taking over his chores and being
sickeningly agreeable whenever Aya said, or even indicated, his desire
for something to happen.
That wouldn't have bothered Youji overly much, would in fact have
amused him - to have someone else so blatantly infatuated with his
lover - but when Aya started responding, it went beyond a joke. The
beautiful redhead seemed baffled by the other's behaviour and had
started watching him as he swept the floor or took over the creation of
more of the mundane arrangements, leaving Aya with more time to work
with his precious Ikebana. And he had been working on them, in between
sending puzzled glances at Ken.
Like it wasn't obvious what Ken was doing.
The problem was, Aya was oblivious enough that it was actually
possible he _didn't_ know. Omi certainly did and was completely
puzzled by the sudden change in the dynamics of the group. Youji
wasn't sure, yet, whether Ken realised what he was doing, but at this
point in time it didn't matter. Youji just wanted him to stop so Aya
would go back to being his and no one elses.
Which frustrated him even more. He hadn't felt this possessive
over anyone since Asuka, and even then she hadn't bought out quite this
level of jealousy and protectiveness in him. Maybe it was because he
had always known where he stood with Asuka, but Aya remained a mystery
to him, to the point where he wasn't certain whether he was wanted or
merely tolerated.
The faint nausea that assaulted him when he thought of the later
made him believe he'd fallen further than he'd thought... much further
than he'd thought. Only a few days ago, Youji had been completely
certain he only spent time with Aya for the uncomplicated sex, but
everything had changed the first time he'd seen Aya glance at Ken with
that bewildered look in his violet eyes. Suddenly, he no longer had
control over the relationship - beyond being able to arouse Aya - and
he wanted that control desperately.
Ken stole another glance at Aya, who had become absorbed in his
arrangement again and then shook his head, anger sparking in his eyes
as he turned away, and continued watering the fragile flowers lined up
on the shelf before him. Youji gritted his teeth, pulling the
cigarette from between his lips and jabbing the butt angrily into the
ashtray before standing, about to set Ken straight about a few things.
"Youji-kun?"
The quiet voice coming form his side checked him and he glanced
down into the deep blue eyes of the youngest member of Weiß. The
concern and confusion there bled the anger from his chest and he
sighed, "Yeah?"
"Are you okay?"
Youji glanced briefly at Aya and Ken again, seeing Ken bending to
pick up a knarled twig that had fallen to the floor. Aya glanced up as
it was placed by his hand and he gave a small nod of thanks, picking it
up and examining it briefly before placing it precisely within the
vase. Ken lingered for a few seconds longer before turning away,
muttering to himself and Youji looked back at Omi and shrugged, "Sure."
But there was the hot prick of bitterness in his throat and he
rose abruptly before stalking out of the flower shop, ignoring Omi's
exclamation of surprise and the silence of the other two men. He
walked out into the sunlight, squinting briefly before shoving his
sunglasses further up his nose and turned to the right, moving along
the street blindly as his thoughts whirled. He was jealous, in love
and wanted Ken gone. And he had no idea what to do about anything.
Jealousy wasn't something he had experience at dealing with, so
he was trying to repress it as much as possible. He had slightly more
experience with being in love, but without the certainty of it's
return, he was restless. Ken was a team member and wouldn't disappear,
either, and with the way things were going there was the possibility
that Aya would fall in love with him.
Youji knew he wasn't the easiest person to love, that he could
irritate people with ease - something he generally prided himself on -
he was selfish and his many vices didn't exactly inspire trust. But,
once he'd chosen to love, there was nothing in the world that could
change that, nothing he wouldn't do for the one he loved. He thought
back to the years spent with Asuka, his fidelity and the years spent
mourning her. Only now could he say he'd moved on and even then, Asuka
remained enshrined within his heart.
It occured to him to wonder if Aya realised that. Thinking back,
he couldn't recall a time when he'd made it plain to the redhead that
he was loved; but then, he hadn't been entirely aware of that either.
So maybe now would be a good time to let him know.
Youji paused on the pavement, resolve beginning to rise within
him. He and Aya had never done the things couples usually did; they'd
never dated, never just spent time together. In fact, Youji frowned,
the only thing they'd done that was different from before they began
this, was the sex - and Aya always left before dawn.
He was going to change that.
He was going to court Aya, seduce his mind and heart, convince
him that he could be as thoughtful as Ken and make Aya to fall in love
with _him_. A predatory grin pulled at his lips as he slipped into a
nearby coffee bar and began to sketch out his plans - beginning with
getting to know Aya better. He was sure the redhead would appreciate
that.
==========
"Bakabakabakabakabakabaka...Baka!"
Ken leaned back against the door after letting himself into his
apartment and immediately began to berate himself for his behaviour.
He knew Omi and possibly the others had noticed his almost-involuntary
change in behaviour over the past few weeks and he hated that his
conflict was visible to one person that he knew of. But if one person
could see it then it was likely that others also could and he didn't
think he could stand it if Aya, of all people, found out. That would
just be too embarassing.
It had been bad enough when Omi had cornered him and asked,
outright, whether he was in love with Aya. He spent the next half hour
blushing beet red as he stuttered through the confession of interest,
though he was positive he hadn't quite reached love yet. Omi had
sighed at the end of it, proving to Ken that it was indeed a pathetic
situation and one that only he, Hidaka Ken, would find himself in.
Omi hadn't, of course, said that, but it was what he was thinking
and Ken blessed him for his ability to refrain from such comments -
Youji wouldn't've managed to restrain himself.
The youngest member of Weiß had left him then, satisfied with the
confession, if not the situation and Ken had headed for the shop. Then
he'd stopped short, frozen by the presence of his crush.
And in such a flattering setting...
He'd stared at the halo of fire that the afternoon sun made of
his hair and the glow that it lent to his eyes as he worked on yet
another flower arrangement, while behind him Youji watered the flowers,
more of the sunlight sparking and refracting off the liquid. Caught by
the scene, he didn't at first notice that Aya had turned to look at him
until the other man's eyebrows went up then down, a slight wrinkle
forming between his brows as he frowned.
Ken started and began to blush before he had the chance to turn
away. Fortunately for him, Aya wasn't the talkative type and merely
turned back to his work without saying anything. And Ken had left, his
colour still high and made his way to his apartment and the sanctuary
of being alone.
He pushed himself away from the door and crossed the room to drop
onto the sofa, allowing his head to sink into his hands. Things were
not going well with his plan to forget about things until they went
away and he was now left with a choice. Continue to do nothing or take
action.
Problem was, any action he took was more likely than not going to
end up with him in an even worse situation than he currently was. It
was very, _very_ unlikely that Aya would return his feelings - whatever
they were - if he did anything at all, and Ken hated the idea of either
being rejected, or worse, laughed at. He had enough pride not to want
to expose himself to the possibility of either happening - which
basically made his decision for him.
He was again going to do nothing, hope the whole thing went away,
and be more careful about hiding things until it did.
==========
Slipping out of his trenchcoat, Aya hung it carefully in his
wardrobe before heading back to his bed and the katana that lay there.
Drawing it out of the black lacquered sheath, he ran a finger down the
flat of the blade, glancing at the traces of blood that came off on his
finger. He reached for the cloth he kept in his bedside table and sat
down to polish the steel. He sat in the blueish moonlight that fell
through the window and drew the cloth carefully along the blade to
remove as many traces of blood as possible before running a very light
coat of oil along the metal[1] and resheathing it.
Sighing silently, he laid the blade across his lap and bowed his
head, breathing deeply as he allowed himself - now that he was safely
back at home - to go over the night's mission. It had become habit
when he was with the first Weiß and the Crashers to dissect each
mission following it's completion in order to find mistakes and learn
from them. Even following his transferral to Weiß II, he'd continued
the tradition, finding it useful for himself and dealing with the
death, even if the other members of Weiß used other methods.
Which reminded him...
He glanced up and tilted his head to one side, listening for the
sound of Youji approaching his front door. The older man had always
found sex to be a relief from the many stresses of assassinations and
after each mission since the beginning of their 'relationship' he had
sought Aya out. He didn't mind much; the physical exercise did a good
job of exhausting him into sleep and the warmth of sleeping with
another body was a comfort at times. Not that he'd ever admit to it
and refused to stay with Youji, despite the comfort, when he was drawn
to the other assassin's room for their assignations instead of his own.
Walking to the stand laid out for the purpose, he placed the
katana reverently down and ran fingers over it, a tiny smile lifting
the corners of his mouth. Such a beautiful piece of art.
His thoughts drifted briefly back to his time with Shion and the
first Weiß before following a train that led to his current teammates.
Thoughts roaming over the past few years and various missions and other
happenings, he moved into the small sitting room, absently noting the
lack of anything remotely resembling personal effects and not caring in
the least. All his momentoes were locked within his heart, snapshots
and movies of the people most precious to him, complete with sound,
smell and emotion.
Amongst the many memories were a large number of Youji, the
blonde having a habit of taking over his thoughts when he wasn't
concentrating on something else, and Aya paused and glanced around
again.
A small frown crossed his face as he realised that the number of
memories from the past fortnight were fewer in number than beforehand.
Youji hadn't been around as much as previously, and when he was he
always seemed to be busy doing something. Not that he hadn't seen
Youji at all - in fact the few nights when Youji had slipped into his
room had been amongst the best memories he'd ever had with the blonde.
Instead of falling straight into bed, they'd started to get into the
habit of sitting, curled up on the sofa with mugs of coffee and
talking. Generally about the day, but occassionally venturing into
deeper topics.
Something had changed for Youji, something that effected
everything else he did, and Aya was disgusted to notice that he was
changing because of that. He was almost resigned to the fact that if
things kept up the way they were going, he was going to fall in love -
if he hadn't already. Which would at least establish that he liked
their relationship and allow him to get on with it instead of existing
in limbo as he had been.
The Change... Aya turned it about in his head for awhile,
wondering at the cause and coming to the reluctant conclusion that it
was almost like the older man was in love. Which wouldn't be a bad
thing, if it was Aya he'd fallen in love with - just the thought of
that was enough to send his heatbeat to galloping - but was there
anything to suggest such a thing?
He found himself dreaming about it though, wondering what it
would be like to spend winter evenings wrapped up in each other to keep
warm and go for long walks in the rain, to hold hands and touch each
other surreptitiously throughout the day.
To have Youji in love with him... it made Aya breathless, unable
to think.
There was a tap on the front door and he blinked as the subject
of his thoughts slipped in through the door, his eyes burning with a
more gentle, but no less intense, heat than before the Change. Caught
by the expression with his thoughts still tangled up in musings about
love, Aya felt a sudden fierce blush climb from his neck, onto his
cheeks and through to his ears.
Youji's eyes widened and the younger man cursed himself and his
too-pale colouring as the blonde took a few steps forwards and raised a
hand to gently touch his cheek, "Aya?"
Jerking his head away, Aya turned, making his way to the small
kitchenette against the wall and began gathering things for the coffee,
ignoring Youji's distracting presence as best he could and waiting
impatiently for the flush to die. It did, eventually, and he finished
the coffee in silence, handing a mug to the blonde as he headed for the
sofa. He curled himself up in one corner and glanced at Youji through
the veil of his bangs.
The other man, his brows drawn into a frown stared at him for a
few moments, coffee mug cradled in his hands. Then he moved, setting
the cup on the coffee table and seating himself on the other edge,
nearest to Aya. Hands reached out and cupped Aya's skull, turning his
face upwards and tangling his fingers in red hair. Aya shivered, his
heartrate picking up again.
"Aya? What is it?" the smooth voice wrapped itself around him,
being absorbed into every crevice of his being, filling him with his
lover's essence. Newly, suddenly sensitive, his body also reacted and,
embarassed by the loss of control, he blushed again, "I..."
Something moved through verdant green eyes as gentle hands
continued to hold him in a position that made it easy for them to gaze
into each others eyes. Surprise, hope, expectation - all of these and
more passed like quicksilver through those eyes and settled into
something blank, almost defensive, "Hmm?"
The sound was bland and Aya frowned as he stared back, searching
for something he couldn't name that would confirm whatever was hovering
tentatively in the back of his mind. Then it was gone and Aya's
eyelids dropped to halfmast as he turned his eyes downwards, a small
sigh leaving him.
"Aya?"
Jerking his eyes back up, the redhead stared some more. The
slight waver in Youji's voice set his heart to pounding again and he
lifted a hand to brush gentle fingers across the other man's dry lips.
As soon as they'd drifted away to rest on Youji's cheek, a nervous
tongue wet the lips, drawing Aya's attention and he moved forward a
little, watching, detached, as his lover's eyes dilated slightly and a
puff of air ghosted across his face.
Aya smiled suddenly, a full curve of the lips with a showing of
teeth and he closed the distance between them, his heart suddenly
lighter, happier than he had been in a long long time.
Now he knew.
==========
Freezing, Youji wondered why everything with Aya had to work
differently than he thought it should. He'd come in here with the
intention of seducing the redhead, giving them an outlet for the
desires and frustrations raised during the mission only to have it
completely subsumed by concern over Aya's strange behaviour and his
silence. Yes, he was quiet, but he'd usually say _something_.
After the concern came hope and fear as he wondered if Aya had
decided. He'd known the redhead was still debating how wise their
relationship was and that, given the river-like qualities of his
emotions - smooth one moment, fast and violent the next, but always
opaque - he was quite likely to say no to everything.
He'd tried to corner Aya, get him to say something - tell him
what was wrong - while busily trying to construct defences in case of
the worst when the redhead had turned the tables again, leaving him
achingly vulnerable in the wake of his gaze. Youji was more than
fearful then - he was uncertain. He'd tried not to let Aya know, but
he'd heard the shake in his voice and when the redhead had returned to
staring at him he'd known he'd betrayed himself. Then the fingers,
brushing against his lips and bringing desire rushing back to his veins
again - but instead of the desperate heat, it was a thick, sweet syrup
that dazed him and the next thing he knew, Aya's lips were on his, the
smile he'd just given Youji - the beautiful smile - still lingering.
His eyelids opened slowly as Aya drew back, finding it difficult
to do in the wake of the lethargic lust throbbing through his veins.
Lavender eyes were glinting with more than their usual warmth, he saw
when he finally managed to focus and gentle fingers brushed against his
cheek, stroking up into his hair and brushing an errant lock back into
place. The fingers remained as Aya stood, the light touch directing
Youji to join him and he followed quiescently to the bed where Aya sat,
drawing him down into the softness then folding lean arms around
Youji's form.
Aya's breath drifted across the top of Youji's head and he felt
the brief pressure of a kiss against the strands of hair. The warmth
within him bloomed and he smiled to himself, suddenly knowing - somehow
- that everything was going to be okay. His eyes drifted shut then,
lulled into a deep, exhausted sleep by the stroking of Aya's fingers
through his hair and the steady beat of his lover's heart against his
ear.
==========
Ken woke the next morning, a strange feeling nagging at his mind
as he went through his usual morning routine of a quick wash and
breakfast. Then he stepped outside, heading downstairs to the
flowershop for the early shift.
He opened up, trying to pinpoint the nagging feeling and failing
completely. It wasn't the date - there was nothing special about today
- and he was pretty sure he hadn't forgotten anyone's birthday or
anything like that. Omi arrived next, a little late, despite it's
being a Sunday and Ken didn't notice him until the younger boy tapped
him on the shoulder. He jumped a foot and finally replied to Omi's
greeting, shrugging off the concerned questions with a frown that let
Omi know he himself had no idea what was wrong.
Gaggles of girls drifted in and out all morning, giggling and
getting underfoot. He found them a little more irritating than he
usually did and he could feel Omi watching him carefully. Ken could
almost see the thoughts marching through the blonde's head - 'is the
killing getting to him?' Ken would have reasssured him on that point
if he'd had the chance, but given the amount of customers neither of
them were even able to grab a break.
Suddenly there was a lull in the shop's shifting population and
Ken noticed that Aya and Youji were standing in the doorway, having
somehow chosen the perfect time to arrive. Then Ken noticed that they
were standing closer than usual and were talking quietly about
something - the volume was too low for him to hear. Aya smiled
abruptly, a breathtaking flash of teeth and sparkling eyes that left
him a little short of breath and he dropped his gaze, cheeks flushing.
'This stupid infatuation...' he thought to himself, finding his
eyes fixed on Aya's hand which lifted to brush lightly against the back
of Youji's before he moved away.
Shocked, Ken lifted his head and stared at the tall blonde,
noting the way green eyes followed the redhead, something that looked
suspiciously like love dwelling there. He flipped his gaze to Aya and
was eve more shocked by the identical look he shot back over his
shoulder.
He remained staring, not noticing when the redhead moved out of
the path of his gaze, being too involved in trying to get his thoughts
around the idea of Aya and _Youji_ together.
He sighed when Omi tapped him for the second time and smiled
ruefully, shrugging again.
So that was the way things stood, which was fine by him -
optimist that he was. If they could keep each other sane all well and
good. Ken, if the infatuation-thing didn't go away, would just suffer
in silence, have plenty of really good dreams and make sure Youji did
the honourable thing. Odds were though, that, as he'd previously
hoped, the whole thing would fade into nothing, especially now that he
knew there was even less chance of anyhting happening with Aya.
He sighed then smiled, satisfied with the way things stood, and
went back to cutting the thorned from the roses that Aya would need for
his next arrangement.
===Owari===
[1] Does one oil katana's? Ah well...
Author: Sefilin (sefilin@yahoo.com)
Teaser: Ken finds himself suddenly infatuated with Aya
Pairing: YoujixAya
Rating: PG
Warnings/Spoilers: Shounen ai. No spoilers except for very minor Aya-chan
and Asuka ones.
URL: http://www.geocities.com/sefilin/
=====================================================================
Infatuation
A Weiß Kreuz Shounen ai Fic
By Sefilin
======================================================================
Weiß Kreuz copyright Project Weiß, Kyoko Tsuchiya, Koyasu Takehito, and
associated parties
==========
It was raining and he was wet. And therefore miserable, cold and
irritable, wishing he was finished with his deliveries so he could go
home, dry off and get warm. A cup of hot chocolate would do wonders
for all that ailed him, but first he had to make another few
deliveries. Grumbling, he left the shelter of the building where he'd
just dropped off a large arrangement of lilies and roses and headed
once more into the downpour. His mumbled complaints continued as he
started the delivery bike and pulled out into the light traffic that
had decided rain was no bar to activity. At least no one was around to
hear him. He could just imagine Aya staring at him in disapproval and
Omi trying to cheer him up. Worse than that, though, would be Youji
trying to outdo him.
Ken wiped the moisture off his goggles and sighed, his mutterings
drifting into silence. If only he was done so he could go home and make fun of Youji's complaining instead.
A flash of red, startling in the dull misty grey of the rain
caught his attention as he paused at traffic lights. Glancing across
in that direction, he blinked.
Aya?
The redhead was standing beneath the awning of a small cafe,
watching the rain coming down with a typically blank expression on his
face. Then, without warning he stepped out into the rain, and, instead
of moving off at a fast pace in whatever direction he was going, he
hesitated. The hair that had caught his attention originally, was
darker now, drowned by water that continued on down pale arms and
cloth-covered chest, the black fabric of his t-shirt molding gleefully
to his form.
But what held the majority of Ken's attention was the tilt of
Aya's face. It was turned towards the sky, marble planes softened into
something approaching contentment. Ken had never seen such tranquility
on his teammate's face and found himself unable to tear his eyes away,
especially when a tiny smile drifted across lips that were suddenly
lush in their relaxed state.
Then Aya lowered his face, the smile still etched upon his lips
and glowing softly in his eyes as he dug his hands deep into his
pockets and began to walk away.
Dazed and dizzy, Ken let out the breath he'd been holding in
order to draw another, allowing fresh, cool air to wash away some of
the dizziness, though not the sense of wonder he now felt. Nor did it
ease the heavy beating of his heart as it tried to contain something
unnamed.
Aya was beautiful.
Somehow, he'd never noticed that before.
The redhead disappeared around a corner and Ken finally pulled
his eyes away, a sigh emerging from somewhere deep within him that had
just been touched by beauty and perhaps something else.
It occured to him then, as he noticed he'd missed the green, to
be glad Aya hadn't seemed to notice him and his face flushed in
embarassment at the very thought.
==========
Ken lay back, his chest heaving as he stared up at the ceiling
above him. The darkness of night hid the face that bloomed with bright
colour and he shifted uncomfortably on the sheets, his skin more
sensitive than usual. The vague stickiness spread across his thighs
and chest unnerved him as it hadn't since the first time he'd had a wet
dream years ago.
But he had the most unpleasant feeling that his dream hadn't
featured the same harmless fantasies as they had the night before. All
he could remember, though, were strands of silky red hair running
through his restless fingers overlaid by a voluptuous sensuality he
hadn't felt since before Weiß. He closed his eyes against thought and
drifted lightly in the pleasurable, though uncomfortable, haze of
repleteness.
An image grew against his eyelids, one that had become familiar
over the past few hours. In amazing detail, Aya appeared, head tipped
peacefully back as crystalline rain fell against his pale face.
Abruptly sitting up, Ken swung his legs over the side of the bed and
headed for the tiny bathroom in his apartment, swearing quietly to
himself in an attempt to banish the image. He turned the shower on and
stepped under the spray, washing away the physical evidence of the hazy
dream, wishing he didn't know who it's redheaded shadow was - even if
he didn't remember the dream itself.
Why, he railed to himself mentally? Why after all this time did
he suddenly find himself attracted to Aya when he never had before?
Sure, he'd always been fascinated by the redhead who was so very
different from himself, but he'd never had the smallest interest in
sleeping with him; hadn't even liked him very much. And now, thanks to
a single glimpse of an Aya he hadn't seen before, he was dreaming about
the being the other assassin's lover.
He sighed, leaning back against the wall of the shower, allowing
the water to run over him, unimpeded now that he was clean. He'd
ignore the desire he was currently feeling until it went away, he
decided. If it had arrived suddenly, it could surely leave that way
too, and in a week everything would be back to normal.
Satisfied with his plan, Ken towelled himself dry and flung
himself back on his bed in the hope of catching a few more hours of
sleep before work the next morning. He closed his eyes and snuggled
his damp hair into the pillow, curling into the duvet and making
himself comfortable. He smiled to himself and allowed his mind to
drift.
It flew back to earlier that day when he'd arrived back at the
Koneko no Sumi ie to hear that Omi had aced another test. Youji had
been busy congratulating him and Ken had joined in, laughing at the
younger assassin's slight embarrassment. It was good that Omi was
still going to school, that he was conscientious enough to actually
study in the hopes of being able to get into a good university and
leave his current job behind. Of all of them, Omi was the most likely
to be able to go back to having a normal life, even if he'd been Weiß
for longer than the rest of them. He'd likely find it difficult to
readjust, though no one would guess it by observing him.
The rest of them were almost too old to start again and even if
they could, what would they do? The only thing Ken would want to do
was play soccer, maybe coach, and that was unlikely given his previous
J-League experience. Someone would recognise him and mention that he
was supposed to be dead and then where would he be?
A few customers who had heard the news also made congratulatory
murmurs in Omi's direction and Ken had laughed at the blush that
bloomed on the youngest assassin's cheeks. Then he'd started as a
presence moved up to stand behind him and a familiar voice had offered
quiet congratulations before moving to don an apron.
Ken had then followed Aya with his eyes, admiring the economy of
graceful movement and play of light against bright hair...
Ken abruptly shook his head and decided allowing his thoughts to
drift wasn't a good idea if they were going to end up back with the
redhead. So he got up, went for a run and, exhausted, dropped asleep
as soon as he got back, images of red and violet still playing in his
mind.
==========
"Ken likes you."
Aya straightened, sending a confused and annoyed glance across at
his blonde companion, noting the ever-present cigarette and wishing
he'd put the damn thing out. They were working together in the shop,
Omi off at school and Ken busy teaching the neighbourhood kids soccer,
"What?"
"Ken. He likes you."
Aya ran a hand over the back of his neck as he gazed at Youji,
hoping something would enlighten him as to where the other man was
going with that, "So?"
Youji's lips tilted up in the smile that Aya loved and hated, the
one that said 'I know something you don't know' and let his eyes roam
over the redhead's body, "He _likes_ you, Aya."
Drawing his brows together even further, Aya stared back, "So?"
A heavy sigh, "You really don't care, do you?"
"Why should I? Ken can do whatever he likes as long as he
doesn't bother me with it," and he went back to clipping the stems of
the flowers he'd be using for an arrangement.
He noticed the soft sounds of footsteps coming closer, but chose
to ignore them, until a hand brushed his shoulder, sliding around his
neck to settle on his other shoulder. He paused, Youji's arm lying
lightly across his throat, and waited for whatever it was Youji felt he
had to do or say.
A warm breath of air hit his ear and he shivered involuntarily,
drawing in a sharp lungful of air.
"Aya..." lips brushed against his ear then drifted downwards,
touching the vulnerable skin just below his ear and the nape of his
neck. The shiver came again, stronger this time and Aya's shoulders
tensed as he prepared to push his fellow assassin away.
Abruptly Youji lifted a hand to cover his mouth, burying his face
at the curve of shoulder and neck and pressed firmly against Aya's
back. A tongue lapped at his skin and he sagged, faint prickles of ice
and fire radiating out from that point of contact. His head fell back
and the flower and clippers were dropped lightly onto the table as
Youji tasted him again, his other hand drifting around to settle
against Aya's abdomen.
"Be nice to him."
Aya's eyes fluttered in confusion, "Him?"
A smile stretched Youji's mouth, "Ken."
"Aa," Aya recalled Youji's statement of a few moments ago, but
dismissed it again as unimportant. He wasn't interested in Ken.
"But, you're mine, Aya. Remember that too," the words were
breathed into his ear as Youji pulled away, swinging his chair around
and brushing Aya's lips lightly, lingeringly with his own. Then Aya
was watching his back as he walked back to the counter and picked up
the cigarette he'd left on the ashtray, going back to reading his
magazine and waiting for customers to show up.
Aya sighed and turned himself back around, unsure how he felt
about the statement of possession. There was a slight warmth in his
chest combined with a coldness in the pit of his stomach and a
tightness in his throat. The ambiguity was something he'd been getting
used to ever since he'd slept with Youji the first time. He still
didn't know whether he liked their relationship, whether he wanted it
or even whether he wanted Youji, but he tolerated it because he wasn't
sure if he didn't. Until he was sure one way or the other, he expected
things would go on much the way they had been.
A few clips later, he inserted the red peony in between the dark
fronds of green and the lighter strands of grass that spread out like a
corona above them. He contemplated the precise arrangement of flora
and sighed, not completely happy with it, but it would do for a shelf
arrangement. Perfection wasn't something you could attain, except by
luck, in a business where time was at a premium.
There was the occasional afternoon where things were quiet enough
for him to sit down and practice the art Shion had first taught him.
It was at such times, like when he performed kata with his katana, that
everything dropped away and he lived in a state of harmony. Body and
mind as one - it was very close to being extacy for him. Aya heaved an
internal sigh; not that it ever lasted very long. As soon as he
returned to himself, the rage and emptiness returned.
Even Takatori's death and Aya-chan's waking hadn't helped with
that.
Standing, Aya moved to the window, removing a previous
arrangement and putting the new one in its place. He took the old
arrangement and set it aside, knowing Aya-chan would want it, before
moving back to the table and clearing up the mess of grass fronds,
leaves and pieces of stem. Then he swept the floor, as conscientious
in his work here as when hunting the darkness.
Youji finished his cigarette and flicked the ash onto the tile
floor without care for the fact that Aya had just swept there, absorbed
as he was in one of the magazines he regularly bought. Clenching his
teeth, the redhead glared for long moments until Youji looked up
questioningly.
"Aya?"
He stared for a moment, wondering why Youji persisted in smoking
inside, then his lip curled slightly and he shook his head in disgust
before sweeping over that spot again. He'd long ago decided that
verbally complaining to Youji was completely unhelpful, but stoically
cleaning up after him had the affect of - occasionally - making him
feel guilty enough to help. And this seemed to be one of those times,
because he sighed and dumped the ashes from the ashtray into the
rubbish before finding a cloth and wiping down the benches. When Aya
began to restock supplies, Youji joined in with a single long-suffering
look cast in his direction.
Careful to keep his tiny smirk to himself, Aya ignored the look
and continued on with his work. Then Ken walked back inside, trailing
tiny bits of grass cuttings across the floor and he growled, "Watch
it!"
Ken froze and sent him a startled glance, saw what he was doing,
looked back at the trail he was leaving and ducked his head, "Ah,
gomen, Aya."
He quickly rushed across the shop and out the back, leaving Aya
contemplating the trail of grass and the pleasure possible in violence
against inconsiderate workmates. Then the broom was being taken from
him and Ken apologised again while beginning to clean up the mess he'd
made.
Speechless, Aya watched as Ken proceeded to sweep the entire shop
again, a slight blush painting his cheeks when he noticed Aya's
attention. Behind him, Youji growled softly and tried to slam his
magazine shut, without real success.
==========
Youji couldn't decide whether to deck Ken or shake Aya and the
indecision was frustrating him as much as it's cause.
The brunette had once again begun his recent habit of being
incredibly helpful to the redhead, taking over his chores and being
sickeningly agreeable whenever Aya said, or even indicated, his desire
for something to happen.
That wouldn't have bothered Youji overly much, would in fact have
amused him - to have someone else so blatantly infatuated with his
lover - but when Aya started responding, it went beyond a joke. The
beautiful redhead seemed baffled by the other's behaviour and had
started watching him as he swept the floor or took over the creation of
more of the mundane arrangements, leaving Aya with more time to work
with his precious Ikebana. And he had been working on them, in between
sending puzzled glances at Ken.
Like it wasn't obvious what Ken was doing.
The problem was, Aya was oblivious enough that it was actually
possible he _didn't_ know. Omi certainly did and was completely
puzzled by the sudden change in the dynamics of the group. Youji
wasn't sure, yet, whether Ken realised what he was doing, but at this
point in time it didn't matter. Youji just wanted him to stop so Aya
would go back to being his and no one elses.
Which frustrated him even more. He hadn't felt this possessive
over anyone since Asuka, and even then she hadn't bought out quite this
level of jealousy and protectiveness in him. Maybe it was because he
had always known where he stood with Asuka, but Aya remained a mystery
to him, to the point where he wasn't certain whether he was wanted or
merely tolerated.
The faint nausea that assaulted him when he thought of the later
made him believe he'd fallen further than he'd thought... much further
than he'd thought. Only a few days ago, Youji had been completely
certain he only spent time with Aya for the uncomplicated sex, but
everything had changed the first time he'd seen Aya glance at Ken with
that bewildered look in his violet eyes. Suddenly, he no longer had
control over the relationship - beyond being able to arouse Aya - and
he wanted that control desperately.
Ken stole another glance at Aya, who had become absorbed in his
arrangement again and then shook his head, anger sparking in his eyes
as he turned away, and continued watering the fragile flowers lined up
on the shelf before him. Youji gritted his teeth, pulling the
cigarette from between his lips and jabbing the butt angrily into the
ashtray before standing, about to set Ken straight about a few things.
"Youji-kun?"
The quiet voice coming form his side checked him and he glanced
down into the deep blue eyes of the youngest member of Weiß. The
concern and confusion there bled the anger from his chest and he
sighed, "Yeah?"
"Are you okay?"
Youji glanced briefly at Aya and Ken again, seeing Ken bending to
pick up a knarled twig that had fallen to the floor. Aya glanced up as
it was placed by his hand and he gave a small nod of thanks, picking it
up and examining it briefly before placing it precisely within the
vase. Ken lingered for a few seconds longer before turning away,
muttering to himself and Youji looked back at Omi and shrugged, "Sure."
But there was the hot prick of bitterness in his throat and he
rose abruptly before stalking out of the flower shop, ignoring Omi's
exclamation of surprise and the silence of the other two men. He
walked out into the sunlight, squinting briefly before shoving his
sunglasses further up his nose and turned to the right, moving along
the street blindly as his thoughts whirled. He was jealous, in love
and wanted Ken gone. And he had no idea what to do about anything.
Jealousy wasn't something he had experience at dealing with, so
he was trying to repress it as much as possible. He had slightly more
experience with being in love, but without the certainty of it's
return, he was restless. Ken was a team member and wouldn't disappear,
either, and with the way things were going there was the possibility
that Aya would fall in love with him.
Youji knew he wasn't the easiest person to love, that he could
irritate people with ease - something he generally prided himself on -
he was selfish and his many vices didn't exactly inspire trust. But,
once he'd chosen to love, there was nothing in the world that could
change that, nothing he wouldn't do for the one he loved. He thought
back to the years spent with Asuka, his fidelity and the years spent
mourning her. Only now could he say he'd moved on and even then, Asuka
remained enshrined within his heart.
It occured to him to wonder if Aya realised that. Thinking back,
he couldn't recall a time when he'd made it plain to the redhead that
he was loved; but then, he hadn't been entirely aware of that either.
So maybe now would be a good time to let him know.
Youji paused on the pavement, resolve beginning to rise within
him. He and Aya had never done the things couples usually did; they'd
never dated, never just spent time together. In fact, Youji frowned,
the only thing they'd done that was different from before they began
this, was the sex - and Aya always left before dawn.
He was going to change that.
He was going to court Aya, seduce his mind and heart, convince
him that he could be as thoughtful as Ken and make Aya to fall in love
with _him_. A predatory grin pulled at his lips as he slipped into a
nearby coffee bar and began to sketch out his plans - beginning with
getting to know Aya better. He was sure the redhead would appreciate
that.
==========
"Bakabakabakabakabakabaka...Baka!"
Ken leaned back against the door after letting himself into his
apartment and immediately began to berate himself for his behaviour.
He knew Omi and possibly the others had noticed his almost-involuntary
change in behaviour over the past few weeks and he hated that his
conflict was visible to one person that he knew of. But if one person
could see it then it was likely that others also could and he didn't
think he could stand it if Aya, of all people, found out. That would
just be too embarassing.
It had been bad enough when Omi had cornered him and asked,
outright, whether he was in love with Aya. He spent the next half hour
blushing beet red as he stuttered through the confession of interest,
though he was positive he hadn't quite reached love yet. Omi had
sighed at the end of it, proving to Ken that it was indeed a pathetic
situation and one that only he, Hidaka Ken, would find himself in.
Omi hadn't, of course, said that, but it was what he was thinking
and Ken blessed him for his ability to refrain from such comments -
Youji wouldn't've managed to restrain himself.
The youngest member of Weiß had left him then, satisfied with the
confession, if not the situation and Ken had headed for the shop. Then
he'd stopped short, frozen by the presence of his crush.
And in such a flattering setting...
He'd stared at the halo of fire that the afternoon sun made of
his hair and the glow that it lent to his eyes as he worked on yet
another flower arrangement, while behind him Youji watered the flowers,
more of the sunlight sparking and refracting off the liquid. Caught by
the scene, he didn't at first notice that Aya had turned to look at him
until the other man's eyebrows went up then down, a slight wrinkle
forming between his brows as he frowned.
Ken started and began to blush before he had the chance to turn
away. Fortunately for him, Aya wasn't the talkative type and merely
turned back to his work without saying anything. And Ken had left, his
colour still high and made his way to his apartment and the sanctuary
of being alone.
He pushed himself away from the door and crossed the room to drop
onto the sofa, allowing his head to sink into his hands. Things were
not going well with his plan to forget about things until they went
away and he was now left with a choice. Continue to do nothing or take
action.
Problem was, any action he took was more likely than not going to
end up with him in an even worse situation than he currently was. It
was very, _very_ unlikely that Aya would return his feelings - whatever
they were - if he did anything at all, and Ken hated the idea of either
being rejected, or worse, laughed at. He had enough pride not to want
to expose himself to the possibility of either happening - which
basically made his decision for him.
He was again going to do nothing, hope the whole thing went away,
and be more careful about hiding things until it did.
==========
Slipping out of his trenchcoat, Aya hung it carefully in his
wardrobe before heading back to his bed and the katana that lay there.
Drawing it out of the black lacquered sheath, he ran a finger down the
flat of the blade, glancing at the traces of blood that came off on his
finger. He reached for the cloth he kept in his bedside table and sat
down to polish the steel. He sat in the blueish moonlight that fell
through the window and drew the cloth carefully along the blade to
remove as many traces of blood as possible before running a very light
coat of oil along the metal[1] and resheathing it.
Sighing silently, he laid the blade across his lap and bowed his
head, breathing deeply as he allowed himself - now that he was safely
back at home - to go over the night's mission. It had become habit
when he was with the first Weiß and the Crashers to dissect each
mission following it's completion in order to find mistakes and learn
from them. Even following his transferral to Weiß II, he'd continued
the tradition, finding it useful for himself and dealing with the
death, even if the other members of Weiß used other methods.
Which reminded him...
He glanced up and tilted his head to one side, listening for the
sound of Youji approaching his front door. The older man had always
found sex to be a relief from the many stresses of assassinations and
after each mission since the beginning of their 'relationship' he had
sought Aya out. He didn't mind much; the physical exercise did a good
job of exhausting him into sleep and the warmth of sleeping with
another body was a comfort at times. Not that he'd ever admit to it
and refused to stay with Youji, despite the comfort, when he was drawn
to the other assassin's room for their assignations instead of his own.
Walking to the stand laid out for the purpose, he placed the
katana reverently down and ran fingers over it, a tiny smile lifting
the corners of his mouth. Such a beautiful piece of art.
His thoughts drifted briefly back to his time with Shion and the
first Weiß before following a train that led to his current teammates.
Thoughts roaming over the past few years and various missions and other
happenings, he moved into the small sitting room, absently noting the
lack of anything remotely resembling personal effects and not caring in
the least. All his momentoes were locked within his heart, snapshots
and movies of the people most precious to him, complete with sound,
smell and emotion.
Amongst the many memories were a large number of Youji, the
blonde having a habit of taking over his thoughts when he wasn't
concentrating on something else, and Aya paused and glanced around
again.
A small frown crossed his face as he realised that the number of
memories from the past fortnight were fewer in number than beforehand.
Youji hadn't been around as much as previously, and when he was he
always seemed to be busy doing something. Not that he hadn't seen
Youji at all - in fact the few nights when Youji had slipped into his
room had been amongst the best memories he'd ever had with the blonde.
Instead of falling straight into bed, they'd started to get into the
habit of sitting, curled up on the sofa with mugs of coffee and
talking. Generally about the day, but occassionally venturing into
deeper topics.
Something had changed for Youji, something that effected
everything else he did, and Aya was disgusted to notice that he was
changing because of that. He was almost resigned to the fact that if
things kept up the way they were going, he was going to fall in love -
if he hadn't already. Which would at least establish that he liked
their relationship and allow him to get on with it instead of existing
in limbo as he had been.
The Change... Aya turned it about in his head for awhile,
wondering at the cause and coming to the reluctant conclusion that it
was almost like the older man was in love. Which wouldn't be a bad
thing, if it was Aya he'd fallen in love with - just the thought of
that was enough to send his heatbeat to galloping - but was there
anything to suggest such a thing?
He found himself dreaming about it though, wondering what it
would be like to spend winter evenings wrapped up in each other to keep
warm and go for long walks in the rain, to hold hands and touch each
other surreptitiously throughout the day.
To have Youji in love with him... it made Aya breathless, unable
to think.
There was a tap on the front door and he blinked as the subject
of his thoughts slipped in through the door, his eyes burning with a
more gentle, but no less intense, heat than before the Change. Caught
by the expression with his thoughts still tangled up in musings about
love, Aya felt a sudden fierce blush climb from his neck, onto his
cheeks and through to his ears.
Youji's eyes widened and the younger man cursed himself and his
too-pale colouring as the blonde took a few steps forwards and raised a
hand to gently touch his cheek, "Aya?"
Jerking his head away, Aya turned, making his way to the small
kitchenette against the wall and began gathering things for the coffee,
ignoring Youji's distracting presence as best he could and waiting
impatiently for the flush to die. It did, eventually, and he finished
the coffee in silence, handing a mug to the blonde as he headed for the
sofa. He curled himself up in one corner and glanced at Youji through
the veil of his bangs.
The other man, his brows drawn into a frown stared at him for a
few moments, coffee mug cradled in his hands. Then he moved, setting
the cup on the coffee table and seating himself on the other edge,
nearest to Aya. Hands reached out and cupped Aya's skull, turning his
face upwards and tangling his fingers in red hair. Aya shivered, his
heartrate picking up again.
"Aya? What is it?" the smooth voice wrapped itself around him,
being absorbed into every crevice of his being, filling him with his
lover's essence. Newly, suddenly sensitive, his body also reacted and,
embarassed by the loss of control, he blushed again, "I..."
Something moved through verdant green eyes as gentle hands
continued to hold him in a position that made it easy for them to gaze
into each others eyes. Surprise, hope, expectation - all of these and
more passed like quicksilver through those eyes and settled into
something blank, almost defensive, "Hmm?"
The sound was bland and Aya frowned as he stared back, searching
for something he couldn't name that would confirm whatever was hovering
tentatively in the back of his mind. Then it was gone and Aya's
eyelids dropped to halfmast as he turned his eyes downwards, a small
sigh leaving him.
"Aya?"
Jerking his eyes back up, the redhead stared some more. The
slight waver in Youji's voice set his heart to pounding again and he
lifted a hand to brush gentle fingers across the other man's dry lips.
As soon as they'd drifted away to rest on Youji's cheek, a nervous
tongue wet the lips, drawing Aya's attention and he moved forward a
little, watching, detached, as his lover's eyes dilated slightly and a
puff of air ghosted across his face.
Aya smiled suddenly, a full curve of the lips with a showing of
teeth and he closed the distance between them, his heart suddenly
lighter, happier than he had been in a long long time.
Now he knew.
==========
Freezing, Youji wondered why everything with Aya had to work
differently than he thought it should. He'd come in here with the
intention of seducing the redhead, giving them an outlet for the
desires and frustrations raised during the mission only to have it
completely subsumed by concern over Aya's strange behaviour and his
silence. Yes, he was quiet, but he'd usually say _something_.
After the concern came hope and fear as he wondered if Aya had
decided. He'd known the redhead was still debating how wise their
relationship was and that, given the river-like qualities of his
emotions - smooth one moment, fast and violent the next, but always
opaque - he was quite likely to say no to everything.
He'd tried to corner Aya, get him to say something - tell him
what was wrong - while busily trying to construct defences in case of
the worst when the redhead had turned the tables again, leaving him
achingly vulnerable in the wake of his gaze. Youji was more than
fearful then - he was uncertain. He'd tried not to let Aya know, but
he'd heard the shake in his voice and when the redhead had returned to
staring at him he'd known he'd betrayed himself. Then the fingers,
brushing against his lips and bringing desire rushing back to his veins
again - but instead of the desperate heat, it was a thick, sweet syrup
that dazed him and the next thing he knew, Aya's lips were on his, the
smile he'd just given Youji - the beautiful smile - still lingering.
His eyelids opened slowly as Aya drew back, finding it difficult
to do in the wake of the lethargic lust throbbing through his veins.
Lavender eyes were glinting with more than their usual warmth, he saw
when he finally managed to focus and gentle fingers brushed against his
cheek, stroking up into his hair and brushing an errant lock back into
place. The fingers remained as Aya stood, the light touch directing
Youji to join him and he followed quiescently to the bed where Aya sat,
drawing him down into the softness then folding lean arms around
Youji's form.
Aya's breath drifted across the top of Youji's head and he felt
the brief pressure of a kiss against the strands of hair. The warmth
within him bloomed and he smiled to himself, suddenly knowing - somehow
- that everything was going to be okay. His eyes drifted shut then,
lulled into a deep, exhausted sleep by the stroking of Aya's fingers
through his hair and the steady beat of his lover's heart against his
ear.
==========
Ken woke the next morning, a strange feeling nagging at his mind
as he went through his usual morning routine of a quick wash and
breakfast. Then he stepped outside, heading downstairs to the
flowershop for the early shift.
He opened up, trying to pinpoint the nagging feeling and failing
completely. It wasn't the date - there was nothing special about today
- and he was pretty sure he hadn't forgotten anyone's birthday or
anything like that. Omi arrived next, a little late, despite it's
being a Sunday and Ken didn't notice him until the younger boy tapped
him on the shoulder. He jumped a foot and finally replied to Omi's
greeting, shrugging off the concerned questions with a frown that let
Omi know he himself had no idea what was wrong.
Gaggles of girls drifted in and out all morning, giggling and
getting underfoot. He found them a little more irritating than he
usually did and he could feel Omi watching him carefully. Ken could
almost see the thoughts marching through the blonde's head - 'is the
killing getting to him?' Ken would have reasssured him on that point
if he'd had the chance, but given the amount of customers neither of
them were even able to grab a break.
Suddenly there was a lull in the shop's shifting population and
Ken noticed that Aya and Youji were standing in the doorway, having
somehow chosen the perfect time to arrive. Then Ken noticed that they
were standing closer than usual and were talking quietly about
something - the volume was too low for him to hear. Aya smiled
abruptly, a breathtaking flash of teeth and sparkling eyes that left
him a little short of breath and he dropped his gaze, cheeks flushing.
'This stupid infatuation...' he thought to himself, finding his
eyes fixed on Aya's hand which lifted to brush lightly against the back
of Youji's before he moved away.
Shocked, Ken lifted his head and stared at the tall blonde,
noting the way green eyes followed the redhead, something that looked
suspiciously like love dwelling there. He flipped his gaze to Aya and
was eve more shocked by the identical look he shot back over his
shoulder.
He remained staring, not noticing when the redhead moved out of
the path of his gaze, being too involved in trying to get his thoughts
around the idea of Aya and _Youji_ together.
He sighed when Omi tapped him for the second time and smiled
ruefully, shrugging again.
So that was the way things stood, which was fine by him -
optimist that he was. If they could keep each other sane all well and
good. Ken, if the infatuation-thing didn't go away, would just suffer
in silence, have plenty of really good dreams and make sure Youji did
the honourable thing. Odds were though, that, as he'd previously
hoped, the whole thing would fade into nothing, especially now that he
knew there was even less chance of anyhting happening with Aya.
He sighed then smiled, satisfied with the way things stood, and
went back to cutting the thorned from the roses that Aya would need for
his next arrangement.
===Owari===
[1] Does one oil katana's? Ah well...
