THE SORTING HAT SONG

THE SORTING HAT SONG

"Oh, you may not think I'm pretty,

But you're a great judge if you ask me,

I'll eat myself if you can't find,

A prettier hat than me.

You can keep your bowlers black,

Your top hats sleek and tall,

For I'm the Hogwarts Sorting hat

And I'm below them all.

There's nothing in your head

That I won't sneak a peak,

So try me on and I'll tell you

Where your thoughts will lead.

You might belong in Gryffindor,

Where dwell the ones that fart,

They're useless with nerves and wannabes,

So, they're not all that smart;

You might belong in Hufflepuff,

Where they're thick and spoilt,

Those stupid Hufflepuffs are through

And should be sent to boil;

Or yet in grouchy old Ravenclaw,

If you're the flamboyant kind,

Where they are twits and cheaters

And are as ugly as your behind;

Or perhaps in perfect Slytherin

Where they are smart and have heaps of friends,

Those striking folk and good looking guys,

Have heaps of money to spend.

So put me on your noggin! I'll penetrate that thick skull!

Don't get in a flap!

Over me, the piece of crap!

For I'm the Hogwarts Sorting Cap!

A/N: Hi people, I hope you like it. I was really bored so I decided to change a couple of words in the original version (Harry Potter and the Philosophers stone) to create the one we all know is true! (LOL) I would like to thank Bigfoot (not 'Bighead') for her great help and, she IS the first one who read it! NO OFFENSE IS MEANT BY THIS, DO NOT TAKE IT TO HEART! AND PLEASE REVIEW!

DISCLAIMER: HARRY POTTER, characters, names and related indicia are trademarks of Warner Bros. © 2001

I only own my mind and genius (I wish) and the tiny idea of the re-vamped song!