((Authors note: I love Emison. They are the couple who is closest to my heart, but sometimes I get tired of writing about them all the time, so here I present you with a "The Fault in Our Stars" fanfic. Enjoy.))
Our infinity,
A final goodbye.
How is life in Heaven you may ask, what happens when we die? Many people probably asked that question more than once in their life, but none of them find the answer before their time is up.
I am one of the few people who knows what happens, but I didn't survive to tell anybody about it. My name is Hazel Grace Lancaster. When I was thirteen I was diagnosed with cancer. I managed to live with my illness long enough to experience what it's like to fall in love. When I was seventeen I met Augustus Waters and fell in love with him, even though I tried not to. I didn't want to be a grenade, a burden. But sometimes God or whoever has an ironic sense of humor, for after a few months bliss, I lost the love of my life to the same blasted illness, and when I was nineteen I joined him in our heavenly Amsterdam.
Heaven is a special place. It's not exactly like Earth, but it's definitely not a candy floss colored world where people live on clouds, wear white gowns and play harps all day long either.
No, it's more… Based on your thoughts, really. You start your journey in a completely blank, white room. No furniture's, no colors, just plain white. Then you open the door and when you do that, your sub consciousness digs out the room or place you want to be the in most.
In my case, that place was a complete replica of Amsterdam. The same street. The same restaurant, the same food and the same champagne. The only change was that the food appeared in front of us instead of being carried in by a waiter.
We don't really sense time in Heaven. Of course the leaves can change color and snow can start to fall if we really desire it, but we don't really sense time itself. Only when the anniversary for our death gets close we sense it.
So did I, and the thought of my parents alone and upset, missing me and the pain they must be feeling, left me with a sharp sting of pain in my heart. Therefore I left Amsterdam where I had been spending the day.
My old bedroom instantly appeared when I walked into the white, blank room. I hadn't really thought about my bedroom after I died, so it was a bit strange that this was the place my sub consciousness had brought me to.
I didn't want to sit on the bed I died in, so I let my body fall to the floor. Resting my head on my knees and thinking about the two people I left behind when I died. Oh, how I wished I could be with them tonight. Just tonight. To say goodbye properly.
A soft wind made my curtain blow around, and the next minute Augustus stood in front of me.
He could instantly sense that something was up, so he sat down behind me, gently pulled me closer so I could rest my head on his chest.
,,What are you thinking about?" he whispered and laced our fingers together.
,,My parents," I said and brushed his hair away from his eyes.
,,Oh."
,,Today it's a year since I died."
,,I know."
,,You know? How did you know?"
,,I too appeared in my bedroom when it was a year since my passing."
,,I want to see them. My parents, I mean."
,,I see."
,,Is that against the rules or something? I just want to see them one last time, and let them know that I'm fine. Give them a chance to move on."
,,That is a very good idea, Hazel Grace. If that's what you want, we'll do it."
,,We?"
,,Well, if you want me to come with you of course, but if you want to do this alone I completely understand."
,,No, I want you to come with me. If they can sense me then they can sense you too, and maybe, if they know we're together, they will understand that I'm happy."
,,However did you get so wise, Hazel Grace?"
,,Dying young kind of do something to your wisdom, my dear Augustus," I said and giggled when he tickled my earlobe.
,,Quite so. Okay. We will go and visit your parents one last time."
,,Thanks."
,,Don't thank me, Hazel Grace. Is this brings you some peace, then we will do it."
I rose from my sitting position, feeling both sad and excited about the thought of seeing my parents one last time.
,,How do we do it? How do we get back to Earth?"
Augustus placed his hands on my shoulders. ,,Close your eyes tight."
,,Okay," I said and did what he asked.
,,Now concentrate. Think about your parents. Think about what they mean to you, and how important this is for you."
I let memories of my parents flood my mind. All the things we did together. All the times my mom drove me back and forward my lessons. All the times my dad forgot the names of the Top model contestants. The meals we ate together. The bad jokes my dad told. My mom's smile. My dad's way of telling me that he was proud of me, and that I would always be his little girl.
,,Open your eyes, Hazel Grace."
My eyes snapped open, and for a second I was confused. But then I recognized my surroundings. Augustus and I were back at my old home.
,,I'm quite impressed." Said Augustus and nodded appreciatively.
,,How?..." I didn't understand. How was this even possible?
,,It was you. Your thoughts were so strong we transported directly to the place you thought about."
,,Wow. I'm pretty good," I said and grinned at him.
,,Very good indeed."
In that moment we heard noise from downstairs. I heard my mom's voice, and that was enough to send me straight down the stairs. I didn't exactly run or use my legs at all. I more like… Floated. Like a well, ghost.
Augustus was right behind me and he put his hand on my shoulder when I stopped abruptly. There they were. My parents.
They were definitely marked by my death. They were a bit greyer, a bit thinner, and they looked absolutely worn out. But they were alive, and it was clear to see that they still cared deeply for each other. My dad's arm was wrapped tightly around my mom's waist, and my mom still looked at him with the same loving gaze.
,,Look," Augustus said suddenly.
I ripped my gaze away from my parents and looked at the shelf in front of them. When I was alive pictures of my parents' youth had been occupying that shelf, but now my parents as fresh looking 25 year olds, had been replaced with little candles and pictures of me.
I floated closer. There were two pictures of me. A healthy me, with long, auburn hair and sickening sweet smile, and a sick me, with short, messy hair and puffy guinea pig cheeks.
The contrast between the two pictures was almost painful. Even though I was well now, it was still strange seeing me as a sickeningly healthy twelve year old. After all, the puffy cheeked 16 year old was the girl I remembered the most. Suddenly my dad spoke:
,,Do you want to do it now, honey? Or do you want to wait?"
,,Wait." Said my mom and looked at her watch.
We waited in silence. Gus and I were silent too, even though my mom and dad couldn't hear us.
Five minutes passed, and my mom looked deeply concentrated on her watch. And I knew exactly what she was waiting for. I could remember it like was yesterday. Death doesn't affect your memories at all; everything stands completely sharp in your conscience.
,,Now!" my mom suddenly exclaimed, and my dad lit the candle.
,,Now it's exactly one year since we lost our Hazel," said my dad quietly.
,,Do you mind finding a couple of glass and a bottle of wine? I think we should make a little toast," said my mom and gently put her hand on my dad's arm. He nodded and disappeared into the kitchen, and returned seconds later with two glasses of red wine.
,,To our Hazel," said my dad.
,,Our Hazel," said my mom and clinked her glass with my dad. ,,I hope she's happy and painless where ever she is."
My dad's eyes welled up. ,,To our Hazel. The best daughter a father could wish for. I only wish that she would have stayed here longer."
My mom blinked and tears streamed down her face. ,,We can only hope that she is happy now."
I couldn't bear it a second longer. I just had to find a way to tell them that I was here and could hear every word. I floated over to my mom. She was so close to me, and I couldn't help to gently stroke her cheek and playfully nudge her the way I always did when I was alive.
My mom went as white as a sheet and gripped my dad's arm.
,,What is it?" he said confused.
,,Hazel…" she crocked out.
,,Yes I know, honey. We just have to get through it somehow."
,,No, you don't understand," she said and tightened her grip. ,,I think.. I think she's here."
My dad's expression changed from concerned to understanding. ,,You know how much I want to think that she is here, but there is no possibility to know for sure…."
I put my hand on his shoulder, and his mouth fell open. His expression went from understanding to shock, to terror and to confusion.
,,What is it?" said my mom who noticed the change immediately. ,,What do you feel?"
,,You're right. She really is here. I can feel her hand on my shoulder."
,,This can't be." My mom clearly wasn't ready to surrender herself to the impossible.
,,But she is. I'm sure of it." My dad has always been more open minded, and he was convinced that what he felt was real.
My mom took a deep breath. ,,Okay, Hazel if you are here, then give us a sign. Please"
My hand immediately flew to my mom's shoulder, and Gus smiled at the scenery and joined in by putting his hand of my dad's shoulder.
,,I feel her," said my mom. ,,She really is here. Our Hazel is here to say goodbye."
,,But if she is touching you, then who is it that is touching my shoulder?" my dad asked, and both my parents said in unison: ,,Gus!"
,,She's not here alone. He's with her." said my mom and now she really cried.
,,They are together now," my dad said and wrapped his arms tightly around my mom.
I smiled and allowed my happiness to fill the room completely.
,,She's happy now," my mom whispered. ,,She's not in pain any longer."
,,We have to let her go now," said my dad. ,,We have to let her move on."
My mom nodded and took a deep breath: ,,Goodbye Hazel, we are so happy that you are happy. And we are so happy to know that you are with Gus now."
And in that moment where my parents let go of me, I could let go of them too. We could all move on now. I placed a feather light kiss on my mom's forehead, and then I kissed my dad's cheek. They both shuddered with emotions and looked teary eyed at each other. There was happiness in their eyes, and I knew that they were going to be alright. I looked at Gus and he nodded.
,,Let's go home," I said.
He took my hand and we both closed our eyes and thought of our new home.
Seconds later we were back in my heavenly bedroom, and Augustus looked worried at me. I flashed him a shaky smile. Even though I knew that they were alright, it was still hard to say goodbye to my parents for good.
,,I know just the thing for you. Come on." Said Gus and took my hand and led my out of my bedroom.
We quickly reappeared on bright green lawn. Millions and millions of stars covered the black sky above us.
,,Where are we?"
,,I don't know exactly," said Gus nonchalantly. ,,But I do know that champagne can solve almost any problems." He handed me a glass of champagne.
I accepted it somewhat confused. ,,Where did you get that champagne?"
,,I don't know. I guess that's one of life's big questions. But let's not worry about that. Let's make our own toast instead. Too…"
,,Our infinity," I said and raised my glass to clink it with his.
,,Exactly. To our infinity." He clinked his glass with mine and we both took a sip. It tasted exactly like the kind of champagne we had in Amsterdam.
,,Okay?" he said questioningly and cupped my face gently in his hands.
,,Okay," I replied as he pulled me in for a kiss. A kiss that was only a small part of our ever lasting infinity…
The End…
((Authors note: I don't even know what to say. Review this if you like to, but I beg you to read this story.))
