This is just a silly little one shot I came up with!
ATTACKED BY A FURRY GREEN KITTEN Raven's Pov
I lay alone on the couch reading a hat full of sky, no one else was into the dim, quiet and empty room. The only thing that wasn't silent was the soft hum of the air conditioning, but it didn't do any good against the snow or its temperature outside the Tower's window. It was just another day of winter; at least I thought it was. Right now Robin and Starfire were "practicing" in the gym, Cyborg was fixing up the T-car, and Beast Boy—well, and I wasn't sure what he was doing but it was properly something retarded, I'm sure.
I was wrong for once; he was doing something that was really, thoughtful and cute. He trotted into the room as a little green kitten with a tiny mew. He walked over to the bottom of the couch stretched himself out with a tiny yawn gazed up at me. Then with a curly cat smile he hopped onto my stomach, curled up into a ball, thinking that he would take a cat nap with me. I frowned at him on my stomach as an internal battle raged in my head.
I should throw him off of me; if I keep him here then it will just fuel those, emotions that I've been feeling. When he does something like this I blush, stutter, and even sometimes return the affection. Usually whatever I do, I am always disgusted with myself afterwards. I flirt with him against my will; I hate it and love at the same time which makes things 10xs worse. So why shouldn't I throw him off?
"Because you want to feel this way," a tiny voice in the back of my head called. That little voice really pissed me off when it remarked "Opposites attract!" Fucking science, fucking feelings and that FUCKING VOICE! That decided that for me and I picked up Best Boy and tossed him onto the floor beside the couch.
He instantly woke up in mid-air and landed on his feet. He turned around shocked and stared at me with eyes that seemed to scream why did you do that? Don't you love me? He stared at me for a moment and I regretted tossing him off; I was going to apologize but his shoulders slacked and his tiny, furry, green head bowed as he left the room.
I don't know why but I felt a tear trickle down my cheek; I had a feeling like I just rejected something more than a cat nap. I let out an exasperated sigh and set my book on the floor. I lay back figuring I couldn't do anything right now. I closed my eyes as I attempted to wash out all thoughts of Beast Boy out of my mind. As I did that, I found myself getting sleepy and soon I fell asleep. I wish I fell asleep with Beast Boy on my lap.
When I woke up, I was greeted by the living room filled with multi-colored lights, a disco ball and Cyborg in the corner singing in a British accent.
"Some people think the internet is a series of tubes
Some people it's made of made of wires,
And lasers and some hats
Some people think it's stuck together
With a load of glue" I stared at Cyborg in complete horror. What was happening, where was everyone else and why was Slade standing in the corner in a Tutu? The upbeat music continued. I noticed a flash of green in the corner of my eye but still I still stared at Cyborg as he sang with a insane gleam in his eye'
But they're all wrong because the internet is made of...
He paused for a moment, put on a sombrero and screamed
"CATS!"
"The internet is made of cats The internet is made of cats "
He did the disco while Slade did the chicken dance. I just sat there in shock; I didn't know what was coming next. Beast Boy popped in kitten form right on top of Cyborg's head and mewed.
"Cats cats cats cats cats!"
With every cat he got a little closer to me as he stared at me with his huge, emerald, glassy eyes and curly cat smile. It was creepy and it's hard to creep me out.
"The internet is made of cats"
Slade took over the singing as outside it started to rain computers and cats.
"The internet was born in Japan 2001
There were not many cats so bandwitdth was not very high
To get the cats around the net they had to keep them small
So they compressed kittens using the ancient art of Bonsai"
"…What?" I asked as Beast Boy cocked his head at me.
"Although more kittens came online with each an' every day
The connectivity and bandwidth of the net weren't great
Because the kittens' numbers did not grow as you would hope
As god kills a kitten every time he sees you masturbate!"
I smacked myself with my hand "Azar, I've got to get out of here." I spied a crowbar on the kitchen counter; how it got there, well I didn't care anymore. Cyborg took back the singing
"Because the internet is made of cats
The internet is made of cats
Cats cats cats cats cats! "
Beast boy jumped off Cyborg and move forward without moving his feet. He came closer and closer with each cat.
"The internet is made of cats" As Slade took the reins I grabbed the crowbar in my hand, when something hit me. Why should I break down the door when I can just phase through?
"The revolution came when LOL cats harnessed humankind
To create many cats with captions on that were quite mental
While death-rates from a vengeful god stayed
More or less the same"
I tried to use my powers, to levitate, lift a fork—anything! But nothing worked. I guess I was going to need the crowbar after all. Every one ignored me except Beast Boy who just stared at me.
"The growth in internet kittens soon became exponential
For a while it looked as though everything was just fine
With more cats in the network things grew fast as fast can be
But soon the laws of physics started to bend with the strain
As the number of cats tended towards infinity"
I raised an eyebrow at our arch enemy as I whammed at the door with my crowbar. It just bounced off and its weight swung me to the ground. You know why?
"Because the internet is made of cats
The internet is made of cats
Cats cats cats cats cats!
I looked up Beast Boy's face was right in mine, and I screamed in surprise, that is. I wasn't afraid at all.
"The internet is made of cats"
I shot up and took the crowbar and shoved it into the small crack between the automatic doors. I was not going to die like this! Slade snag some more lines that just added to the huge mess.
"The internet cat project
Kittens inspired by kittens
Recursive cats spiraled down to a singularity
Which birthed a cat-god, powerful beyond imagination
Called "Maru", who appeared obsessed with box idiocy"
I turned away from my efforts so I could raise an eye at Cyborg once again and when I looked at him he had grown a full blown afro under 20 seconds. What is the world coming to?
"But despite looking like a fat-cat moron who liked boxes
Maru was in fact manipulating both time and space
He summoned forth the Dark One, from beyond the deepest past
The one who would be savior of the Internet cat race" I Beast boy was on my head as I pulled and scratched at the automatic doors, willing them to open, but then I noticed something. Right next to the door was a huge red button that said open. I mentally slapped myself and pushed it.
"Because the internet is made of cats
The internet is made of cats"
A huge wave of computers and kittens whooshed out the doors and pushed me back into the room, up against the glass. The amount of kittens rose and rose as the music continued,
"Cats cats cats cats cats!
The internet is made of..."I clawed and kicked at the computers and kittens and managed to swim to the top where there was a little space; big enough for my head. But the amount of kittens and computers rose and as I drowned, I heard
"The internet is made of cats
The internet is made of cats
Cats cats cats cats cats!
The internet is made of cats"
I screamed as I lost consciousness.
"And that's a FACT!"
I woke up with a yell and my head spun around the room, looking for signs of kittens; luckily there was none. I let out a sigh of relief—it was only a dream; one jacked up dream. The sun was starting to rise, and orange streaks breaking through the clouds were visible through the window. I then noticed a soft purring on my lap—and there was Beast Boy as a kitten, curled up on my lap asleep.
I smiled down at him and gently kissed his head. He didn't awake, so I sat there and pet him for a couple more hours, happy that he wanted to cuddle with me.
XD That was fun! Tell me what you guys think, was this one better than or worse than my other BB-Rae Fanfics? In what way? Just thought I'd like to write this on a whim, not exactly sure where I pulled this one from—but I guess all of my Best stories were like that!
Roses are red
The sky is blue
Review quickly
Or I will kill you!
(I suck at poetry)
KKA
