A/N: Alright, this 100% pure fluff was written and published elsewhere as a oneshot and eventually I decided to post it here too as it is. But it was originally meant as a part of my much larger fic "Neverending Song" and most probably, when I reach the corresponding moment, it will be included there as a separate chapter. Until then, here it is. Also, for this ficlet I made an illustration that is posted on my deviantArt page. Link to said page can be found here too, on my profile page.
Oh, and there are, somewhere in the story, two lines from "Dirge of Cerberus". There is no connection between this and the action in DoC whatsoever, but the lines fit so well at that point that I just couldn't resist. Whoever finds them, gets a dumbapple pie especially made by Genesis himself, lol!!
Disclaimer: I do not own anything connected to Final Fantasy VII. But the mysterious little green thing is still mine... :)
TO GIVE, TO SHARE
That night Genesis had woken up after a dream he couldn't even remember – not a peaceful one, that much he could say, but as soon as he had tried to pick up its shards and put them back together, everything was just lost in a blur.
He sat up in the dark, listening for a few moments the quiet, regular breathing of his two friends who were sharing the room with him. It was a soothing sound for his ears and, even though this time he hadn't had a real nightmare, one of that kind that made him wake up screaming until Sephiroth and Angeal jumped out of their beds and came to help him calm down, he was still as grateful as ever to hear their breathing so close to him.
Finally he got up with the intention of bringing himself a glass of water from the bathroom. And in that very moment he saw it.
Sephiroth's bed was right next to the door and, as he passed by it on his way to get said water, his eyes fell on the form of his friend, curled on one side beneath the blanket. Half of Sephiroth's face was visible, which was pure hazard, because usually his long bangs concealed it almost entirely when he slept in that position. Not this time though – and his relaxed face was in plain view, left hand bent to the cheek in a pose instinctively assumed by most people in their sleep.
Only... in his cupped palm the redhead caught a glimpse of something... like a little greenish ball.
A Materia?...
Genesis came closer and took a peek with a strong, weird sense of familiarity, even though he couldn't put a finger on it and he didn't even recall ever seeing Sephiroth holding anything in his sleep before.
Because definitely, he was holding something now.
So Genesis took another step and bent over his friend's bed to see what that small ball-shaped thing could be. His mako sight intensified a bit, to compensate for the darkness that shrouded the quiet bedroom. Not too much though, as he didn't want to wake Sephiroth up. He just wanted to see what that puzzling little thing could be to give him that strong sense of familiarity.
Of course it had to be something trivial, most probably. Maybe just the edge of the blanket, caught in Seph's hand. Something like that. Surely it was just the scarce light and the shadows that played tricks on him, making it look so eerie.
He bent a little more and, finally, he could see it well.
His eyes went wide with wonder and astonishment and he almost stretched his hand to touch the thing, but, swiftly, he retracted it. Then he just kneeled next to Sephiroth's bed, carefully leaning on it, and gazed at the scene in awe.
The glass of water long forgotten, he sat there next to his friend, watching him peacefully sleeping with that small round object protectively clutched next to his pale cheek, for a very long time.
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„Angeal," Genesis stated with a solemn mien the next morning, „now I'll have to talk to Sephiroth very seriously and you will do whatever you want, go exercise or study or anything else, but you will NOT come over, unless and until I call for you, okay?"
Angeal threw him a puzzled look. Genesis was quite the cheerful person, bouncing all over the place in a playful manner almost always and finding funny or bright things pretty much anywhere, in the most unexpected places. But now, all of a sudden, he was so deadly serious – and this made Angeal feel so worried. What could Genesis possibly have to talk with Seph that he couldn't be around to hear it?? As short the time was since they came to ShinRa and shared the same appartment with their new friend, they had always been together, all three of them. Never had one been left aside until now and, even if he knew Genesis every since he could remember, he wasn't able to tell what was going on inside his mind right now. And that felt scary.
It was a beautiful Saturday and sun was sending its light through the kitchen's window to the table where they sat. Such a rare occurrence in Midgar.
„Genesis,"Angeal frowned regarding his childhood friend with a wary look, „you don't want to scold him for something, do you? I mean… I know he does a lot of things wrong or in weird ways, but we both know the reason. Just tell me you're not going to put him down for something like that!"
Genesis raised his head and watched the raven-haired boy with his shiny eyes.
„I just… don't get it why I can't be there when you talk to him." Angeal sighed. „I wish I could stay too."
The redhead only gave him an improbable quiet smile and patted his arm.
„Don't worry, pal, he'll be just fine. And when I get this over and call you, I promise you'll find out everything. But first I just have to talk to him alone."
„Alright," Angeal sighed again and stood up. „I'll take my books in the living. Is that okay?"
„It's fine," Genesis smiled. „Thank you, bro!"
And with that, he headed back to the bedroom, where Sephiroth still was.
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As Genesis closed the bedroom's door behind him, Sephiroth raised his head and gazed at him with that look of his that seemed to be only reserved for his friends – a mixture of quiet joy and wonder and shyness that always lightened up his entire face whenever he saw one of them. As if he still couldn't believe that he actually had them as friends and that they would keep sticking with him with each day passed, no matter what. As if every moment with them was a reason to be glad and grateful... and scared too, for the prospect of possibly losing them.
The room was clean and freshly aerated, with the window still open and all the three beds were flawlessly made, including Genesis', who knew for sure he had been nowhere near that tidy.
Sephiroth and Angeal always made their beds without a fault, but Genesis never cared much for that part of the military discipline. He would make his bed alright, but it would never look flawless like the others'. And many times Seph would pass by and tidy up Genesis' sleeping place too with just a few brushes of his skillful hand.
It seemed he'd done that again now – and the thing that had always puzzled the redhead was the way he managed to fluff up the pillow to an incredible degree, considering that ShinRa's pillows were something scarcely going beyond the thickness of a folded handkerchief in his opinion.
Sephiroth was just putting in order the content of his chest of drawers that all of them had next to their beds. One of the drawers was taken out of it and placed on a chair in front of him, while he sat on his bed surrounded by various small items, some already neatly folded, just about to be put in the drawer, some still in wait, as they had come from the drying room.
Genesis strolled to him determinatedly and, taking the half-filled drawer, moved it on his bed and sat on the chair in front of Sephiroth. The silver-haired boy's face faltered visibly and the sparkle in his eyes faded almost entirely, replaced by a worried look.
„Has... something happened?"
Genesis watched him with his ever-shining eyes and nodded seriously.
„I have to talk to you, Seph," he said in a low voice.
Sephiroth regarded him warily and his hands clasped in his lap in wait. Genesis just bent a little towards him and, grabbing his friend's pillow with one hand, shoved the other one under it with a direct gesture. It had to be done, he thought, and the sooner the better.
Sephiroth quivered violently, both hands unconsciously stretching to try to stop Genesis as he begged in a beseeching voice:
„No!! No, please! Don't!"
For a moment his eyes shone almost blinding, pouring a wave of raw green light, but then, as Genesis slowly retracted his hand, clutching a small object in it, they flickered and went off like candles blown by the wind. His narrow pale face drained of any trace of life, becoming completely colorless and his whole being seemed to wither and shrink.
The redhead set the thing into Sephiroth's lap with a very gentle gesture and they both stared for some time at the green shape in utter, deafening silence.
A bullfrog plushie.
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He had been in a mission when he had found the little toy. They were patrolling the Central Railway Station that day and at some point they had to spread to cover a larger area and he had been alone for quite some time. It was then when he caught a glimpse of something vividly colored under one of the benches, between its foot and the wall behind. Probably just some ball of paper thrown by someone, but he still bent to look at it, paused for a moment and then extended his long arm and dragged the thing out to the light.
Most probably some kid had dropped it and was wailing for its loss right then. Sephiroth stood up and stretched back to his full height again, still holding the plush animal in his large hand. He glanced around, but there wasn't anyone to be seen nearby. He started to bend again intending to place the frog on the bench so that the child would find it if he ever returned. But the gesture remained unfinished.
He frowned to himself, disconcerted. What... was happening?? Why didn't he just put the thing on that bench and leave to mind his business? It was almost as if... as if he simply didn't have the heart to leave that toy out there alone!!
That was downright stupid.
It was just a toy! A mere inanimate object. What was the fuss about it??
He brought the thing up to his eyes and threw it an angry glare. The frog gaped back at him with shiny bead eyes, beautifully crafted to look exactly like the real ones and seeming to smile with its large frog mouth. The boy cringed a bit and, lowering his arm again, strode decidedly to the bench and placed the toy on it. Then turned around on his heels and walked away... like five or six steps.
„Alright, this is really stupid!" he stated without even realizing he was speaking aloud, while visions of heavy rainfalls pouring over the poor small thing and puddles of muddy water and dogs ripping it between their teeth and nasty human children kicking it with malevolent sniggers and dozens of other frightening scenarios wavered through his both stunned and troubled mind.
Stunned. That was the word. He was stunned. He could not understand what was happening to him. He stood there for a few moments, head down, bangs falling over his face, fists clenched, then his large shoulders slumped a bit and he just went back to the bench and retrieved the plushie, sneaking it inside his black leather coat. Fortunately the little toy was a squeezable one, filled with some tiny beads as far as he could feel through the fabric and so the bulge was insignificant. His hand lingered on the plush that stayed there pressed right over his heart. And his heart beat a little faster. It was so soft to the touch! So soft...
Then his phone rang and he jumped up startled. He was late for the meeting with the rest of his squad!
He broke into his fastest run.
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That night, alone in his room in the barracks that noone ever wanted to share with him, Sephiroth sat cross-legged on his bed with the plushie frog placed reverently on his pillow and watched it for a long time in amazement. What power was that thing carrying inside?...
Having the soft green frog cuddled at his chest all day, he had felt so... soothed! Almost as if he wasn't alone anymore. He, the frog, was of course just a lifeless toy, but after all those hours stuck on him, borrowing his body's heat, at some point it seemed as if he had his own warmth to share. From time to time, when he was sure noone would see him, the boy would sneak his hand to feel the softness of that little body and even took a peek every now and then into those bead eyes that seemed to return his gaze. He even remembered hearing once a little girl, dragged by the hand probably by her mother and squeezing a plushie at her chest, asking the adult something like:
„Mom, if I meet the frog-prince one day when I grow up, will he...?"
Sephiroth couldn't recall too well that part. Had the girl said: „will he become my friend?" Or maybe it was: „will he get me a friend?" He was unsure.
So that night, holding the frog with gentle gestures, he watched him without daring to voice his wish entirely, but still, a word escaped his mouth, barely perceptible and hoarse:
„... friend?..."
Sephiroth NoName, SOLDIER 1st Class, was just about to discover one of the greatest human secrets of all times: that a child's dreams and wishes could make the world go round and turn anything real and true.
Tired and confused, he didn't really know what hapened after that. He only knew that next day, when he woke up, he was cuddled with the plushie clutched tightly at his chest.
That very day, later on, Genesis and Angeal showed up into his lifeless life.
- - - - -
It was the most puzzling thing. He knew of course it was only an inanimate object, a piece of plush shaped like a frog and filled with something soft. Yet knowing that didn't help much. It didn't help at all in fact. It was something irrational, he realized, but it was so comforting when he snuggled in his standard army bed, under the standard army blanket, hugging the plushie tightly at his chest. He slept better and felt so soothed.
And then, all of a sudden, he lived with his new friends. Scared and thrilled at the same time, he couldn't help but think that his dearest wish had become reality as soon as he had expressed it to the little frog.
Of course that was completely silly. Haha! It wasn't as if a plushie could fulfil his wish!
But it had happened. Nothing could wipe that out from his mind.
Yet now, living all three together, that made him even more afraid. They couldn't see his frog. There was no way he would let this happen! He wasn't about to lose them too because of them getting to think he was a... how did the others say?
A sissy.
His former colleagues had called him that already, for his too long hair and pretty face. Then later, when he outshone them all with his knowledge and skills, fewer did it and in time that kind of greeting became scarce, even more so when he had become a 1st Class SOLDIER before anyone else. Maybe they still called him that when he was not around, but he didn't care anymore about it.
Yet now he cared. Now it was different. Genesis and Angeal were so like him somehow, they were all ‚mako freaks' and in many other respects they were the same. And they had accepted him right from the beginning and he didn't want to lose them too. He was awfully conscious of his total lack of social skills and the constant fear of either saying or doing something that would freak them out and make them regard him with loathe and contempt tortured him almost every moment. And he clung to them with all he had and tried his best to learn the human ways for fear of being left alone again.
But no, he wouldn't lose them. He wouldn't! Because his magic frog had given them to him.
So late at night, when he was sure they were sound asleep, he would cautiously sneak his hand under the pillow and take his plushie out to craddle it next to him. Then he would tuck the blanket over both of them and finally go to sleep as well.
And next day in the morning, he would be the first one to wake up, so they would never get to see him sleeping with his toy.
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Genesis watched his long-haired friend and his heart was bleeding at the sight.
An overgrown boy of not even fifteen yet; a child trapped in the body of a man, sitting in front of him with a broken mien, his large shoulders slumped, head bent forward halfway to his bony knees, long silver locks of hair hiding his face and hands resting over the plushie in his lap, cupping it with unbelievable care and protectiveness.
Waiting stoically to be put down and laughed at. And then deserted and left alone again.
And Genesis felt his own heart bleeding.
He grabbed Sephiroth's arms and leaned towards him to the point where their foreheads almost touched.
„Seph?" he called him softly. „Look at me, my friend!"
Slowly, Sephiroth raised his head and gazed at him with a sorrowful, cornered expression in his pristine eyes full of misery and shame.
Genesis closed his eyes for a moment and inhaled deeply.
„Seph," he asked, „please tell me where you found this toy."
The silver-haired boy choked, swallowing hard the lump inside his throat.
„I... it was... at the train station. He... it... HE was under a bench..." he stammered with wavering voice, then his head fell down again.
He will be taken it, he knew that. Soldiers weren't supposed to sleep with toys. He was just a sissy and they would let him know that right away.
Genesis couldn't help it any longer, but it wasn't as if it really mattered. Seph wasn't looking at him at that moment and it was alright anyway, even if he did. So, silent tears falling down his cheeks, the redhead tightened his grip on his friend's arms and almost whispered:
„Mr. Kirmit is a very lucky frog to have been found by you. I looked for him everywhere I could think of, but if it hadn't been for you, then he'd have been lost for good."
Large green eyes rose again to meet his own, with an astonished look.
„Mr. ... Kirmit?..."
Genesis smiled through the tears, then wiped his eyes with the back of his hand.
„Yeah. I don't even remember who came out with this name, if it was me or mom or he just whispered it to us himself. I had him every since I can remember and I could never sleep without him for years on end! You know, many times I ran to Angii's house to sleep at him, but I never forgot to take Mr. Kirmit with me. He's been my magic little frog."
Without him even realizing, Sephiroth's hands seemed to move all by themselves and lifted the plushie to his chest, cradling it over his heart, where it had stayed that very first time when he had found it at the train station. And Genesis' eyes caught everything, though they never left Sephiroth's strained face.
„...Then I grew up," Genesis went on, „and some day I was finally able to sleep without him, but Mr. Kirmit never stopped being my magic friend. He can even fulfil wishes, did you know that?", he chuckled softly. „Didn't he make your dearest wish come true already?"
And he watched his friend's eyes growing wider on his flummoxed face, the faintest sparkle dancing somewhere deep inside them.
„He did it, didn't he?"
Sephiroth's eyes slid down to the plushie cuddled next to his heart. Yes, Mr. Kirmit had surely done that. And somehow, in that very moment he was beginning to believe that they, his friends, were there to stay.
„...So when it was time to come here to join SOLDIER, of course I took Mr. Kirmit with me. I thought I had him safely put in my bag between the clothes so he would have a smooth journey. I did open my luggage at the station though to search for something, that is true, but even today I can't imagine how he could fall from it. And when I finally discovered his absence, I was desperate! Yes I was, I don't give a damn on what people would say if they heard this, or if they'd laugh at me for moping over the loss of my childhood plushie. I kept seeing him lost and soaked by rain and torn by dogs and cars and nasty brats..."
Sephiroth watched him with a mixture of awe, relief and renewed pain. It was amazing how much alike they seemed to be, to think! Genesis was just like him. He understood. He felt the same, he needed comfort too, to feel someone being there next to him. They would not laugh at him. He wasn't going to be left alone.
And yet he was.
Pain tore through his chest as he separated Mr. Kirmit from his heart and stretched both hand towards his friend, with the plushie cuddled in the cup of his large palms.
„I'm... glad I could find him for you. Now... you can have him back.", he uttered mournfully.
But Genesis didn't rush to take Mr. Kirmit back. He didn't even touch the toy. Instead he kept holding Sephiroth by the shoulders and just regarded him with his bright mako eyes.
„Tell me Seph," he asked him softly, „did you take care of him as if he were alive?"
He already knew the answer, but that was not the point. He had to ask that for his friend. He had seen already the way Seph held Mr. Kirmit with infinite care, as if he was a real, sensitive being that needed care and protection too. He had already heard his friend calling the plushie „he" the way he would have done with a real person. He had seen the sparkle in Seph's eyes when he asked him if Mr. Kirmit had fulfilled his dearest wish.
There was no lying to that question, Sephiroth knew on his part too. His head bent down until chin reached his chest, while silver strands fell like a curtain to cover his colorless face.
„Yes.", he answered in a barely audible murmur. And if his friend hadn't been mako-enhanced himself, he could have never heard the word.
„And when you held him," Genesis went on, „did you take care that he would stay comfortable too?"
„Yes." whispered Sephiroth miserably.
„Did you tuck him too under your blanket when you went to sleep? And held him close to you so he would keep you warm and you would warm him back?"
„I... did."
„And you want to return him to me because I missed him and he's mine?"
„Yes."
This time even Genesis could hardly hear him.
„You know, Seph, as I never remembered when and how Mr. Kirmit came into my life, some day I just chose to believe that he decided to come to me himself. He kept me safe when I was a kid and made my dreams come true. If I chose to believe that, then now, just the same, I can think he made his choice again. You need him more, so he chose you and he will stay with you from now on, as long as you will need him."
And saying this, Genesis gently pushed his friend's hands with the toy until it was pressed back on Sephiroth's heart again.
The silver-haired boy gazed speechlessly at him with large eyes, slowly lightening up as if it took time to bring himself to believe that.
„Really?..." the silver-haired boy finally stuttered. „Are you sure... this is what you really want?"
Genesis grinned.
„Am I sure?! Am I sure! If it only concerns me, then yes, I'm sure. But I think I can speak for Mr. Kirmit too this time."
He patted Sephiroth's arm reassuringly, then added:
„Now there's only one thing left to do."
Followed by his friend's puzzled and still wary eyes, he stood up and strode to the door, opened it and called:
„Angii, can you come over now?"
Then came back and sat again in front of Sephiroth, smiling at his suddenly startled and distressed look.
„Yes, Genesis?", Angeal answered, showing up after only a moment and regarding Sephiroth with a quiet mien, yet tense in the knowing eyes of his childhood friend.
„I wanted to tell you that I finally found Mr. Kirmit. Or, better said, Seph found him."
Angeal watched them both, then nodded.
He knew Genesis all too well. He knew his friend never called that plushie „Mr. Kirmit". It had alway been „his Kirmy". Yes, that was how he'd always referred to it: „my Kirmy". But now he avoided using that affectionate diminutive and the possessive particle, obviously for the fear of making Seph feel bad or guilty in any way. And the little frog was resting in Seph's arms, practically squeezed at his large chest, while Seph himself looked as if he was just getting over a great deal of distress.
So he understood. He nodded in all seriousness and stated:
„Well, I am glad you found him safe and sound. And I am glad Seph will take good care of him from now on."
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Late that night, three boys finally went to an undisturbed sleep down in the ShinRa barracks. One of them, slender and auburn-haired, had a lopsided smile even in his sleep. The second boy, a sturdy one with raven hair, slept on one side facing his friends, looking tranquil and serene. The third one was the tallest, with long hair faintly glistening like metal in the scarce light and pale cheeks, almost as pale as his hair looked. He lay there on his side as well and in the darkness it seemed as if he was clutching something next to him. Maybe just the edge of his blanket? Or maybe a Materia?...
No, it wasn't just a trick played by the misleading shadows. The boy indeed cradled something between his body and one hand, brought up to his cheek the way most people did in their sleep.
An improbable moonbeam penetrated the thick layer of clouds over Midgar and, after that long journey, finally fell on his bed unravelling the mystery that shrouded the ball-shaped little object resting in the boy's cupped hand:
Mr. Kirmit, the bullfrog plushie.
A/N: Weeeell?? Liked the story? Found the DoC lines? Or should I wait until you finish drying your handkerchiefs? /giggle/ Genesis grumbles here with the pie, ready to throw it at the winners. Hurry up, or he'll eat it all by himself, hehe! ;)
