I just thought of this one-shot while reading about Hidan and Kakuzu. Enjoy! Oh and this involves my original character Kaiya.

Disclaimer- I wish I owned Naruto.

Zetsu just couldn't help himself. I mean, he is a guy after all.


Zetsu sighed for the sixtieth time today.

He and his partner Kaiya were on a mission in the Land of Grass to assassinate one of the Akatsuki's former allies. One of the land's feudal lords owed a large and hefty sum of money to the organization and when he didn't pay it on time, Pein decided to cut him. Literally. And now the pair was on their way back to the house.

It was a humid summer day, and Zetsu hated it. His flytrap was beginning to wilt. Only desert plants could thrive in this kind of weather.

So he removed his cloak so he could get some air and resumed walking. If he and his partner ran, they would easily collapse from heat stroke.

"Hey sempai? Were you born with that green thing around you, or is it a weird fashion accessory?"

Zetsu sighed for the sixty-first time today.

His yellow orbs glided over to his younger partner. She had also removed her cloak, wrapped her silver hair into what she called a bun, but the plant gut thought otherwise.

When Zetsu stated that it looked like something he puked up a day ago, she kicked him in the family jewels and kept walking.

"Why are you asking me that Kaiya?" the plant ninja asked. His teenage partner had been asking him pointless questions all day. Zetsu knew that she was much more mature than this; she was a Hatake after all.

And after all the stories that Zetsu had heard about how the Leaf village's Hatake clan was so talented, he doubted her state of mind at this moment. Either the heat was frying her brain or Tobi's stupidity aura was starting to take effect.

"I don't know. I'm just dying of boredom over here. It's so damn hot today."

Now Zetsu knew something was wrong. Kaiya Hatake never used a swear word. His suspicions had been confirmed: Kaiya's brain was melting.

But then, the young kunoichi did something to catch the ex-Grass nin's attention.

She stretched.

Now this might not seem like something that would easily catch someone's attention, but that's only if you are in a sane state of mind. Alas, Zetsu-san is not.

Because he is in the Akatsuki.

Enough said.

The plant man's eyes traveled directly to the kunoichi's body as she stretched her arms over her head. Zetsu noticed how her limber muscles twitched at their involuntary movement, how her little fingers curled into small fists in the air and how her breasts poked out just a little bit further.

Now don't get me wrong. Zetsu doesn't take pride in looking at younger girls while they stretch, but if the situation presents itself…..

The grass lover shook his head in order to rid himself of the perverted thoughts jogging thru his mind.

"Uh sempai? Are you ok?"

"I'm good, I'm good."

"Good. I think I hear a river up ahead. We can stop there to rest."

Zetsu stared at his partner as she skipped down the road. How could she hear a river? Well, at least now Zetsu knows that the rumors about her and her older brother Kakashi having freakish hearing were all true.

The two shinobi made it to the river Kaiya pointed out an hour ago, and were now resting at its edge. Both of them removed their sandals and dipped their tired feet into the refreshing water. The cooling liquid relieved the stress from their soles.

It took them a while to get there because Zetsu had to insult Kaiya's hair once again.

She had taken it out of its bun and let it hang for a while. Kaiya's wonderful sempai said that now that her hair was loose, it made her look like a deranged prostitute.

She kicked him in the family jewels and continued walking.

Kaiya reached into her cloak and pulled out her canteen. She dipped the round container into the water and lifted it to her mouth. Zetsu watched all of this happen and once again his mind wandered.

His golden eyes followed the clear liquid's every movement. He watched as water trickled down her chin, he observed some of the liquid fall down her throat and he stared as the substance rolled down her chest and into her cleavage.

Once again Zetsu shook his head to rid him of his nasty thoughts. Why did he need a partner again?

The members decided that they needed to be on their way once again, so they stood up and gathered their things. Zetsu's eyes glided over to the ex-Leaf nin as she slipped on her shoes.

The skirt she wore over her pants seemed extra tight today. It showed off her feminine curves in the most sexiest of ways.

Zetsu slapped his forehead. Damn him and his hormones.


The sun seemed to lower from its high position as the pair continued on.

"Hey Zetsu-sempai?" the younger of the two asked, breaking the silence that had fallen between them. Kaiya's silver eyes were greeted by two pupil-less, yellow ones.

"You never answered my question earlier."

"What question?" he asked, as his eyes seemed to travel….further south…down her slender body.

"About the green thingy you wear. Were you born with it or is it a fashion accessory?"

Zetsu sighed for the sixty-second time today.

As he answered her pointless question, Zetsu let his hormones take over.

After all, Zetsu was a man and he just couldn't help himself.


AN: I have written another one-shot, thanks to my step brother. This is what you get when you bet against a 17 year old. Review for me please!