Naruto sat quietly at Jiraiya's grave, basking in the sun that shined through the trees. This is where he always went to think, which he had done a lot of lately. Sasuke was still out there, and Naruto was starting to lose hope. Something that his friends had hoped for, but also couldn't believe. Naruto in all of his years, even through the torture of his childhood, Naruto pushed through. His friends couldn't believe that Sasuke could get to him this much. Naruto had just got back from another mission to rescue Sasuke, only now, Naruto goes alone, because everyone else had given up. Tsunade has never let him go without Naruto raising Hell after the third attempt. Naruto was now on his ninth attempt to bring Sasuke home. Naruto flashed back to his conversation with Tsunade when he asked to go again.
"I will not be silenced! I will try and save him as much as a damn well please! You all may have given up hope, but not me!" Naruto yelled. Tsunade and Sakura stared at the blonde. He was desperate, and he wouldn't give up until Sasuke was back home. "Naruto, when are you going to get it? Sasuke isn't coming home, he will never come back, you can't save him." Sakura said, calmly, knowing Naruto was going to get upset more. Naruto's hands balled into fists and the tears began to well at his eyes. He looked up at them, upset and angry. "Go ahead Naruto." Tsunade whispered. And Naruto ran out of her office. "Let him go and he will run." she said to Sakura. Sakura just sighed, she was more worried about Naruto now than ever.
Naruto's tears poured out of his cheeks. "I'm so pathetic aren't I, pervy sage?" Naruto chuckled. "Even you wanted me to give up and I wouldn't, and I still haven't, I'm such a pathetic excuse for a ninja." he whispered to the sky. "I've lost who I am and I can't understand why my heart is so broken over him." he cried harder. His anxiety was rising. Since his anxiety attack when he thought they were going to kill Sasuke, Tsunade had given Naruto anxiety pills to knock him out, because there was no calming him down without it. Naruto's hands gripped the ground below him as his hands began to shake uncontrollably. He reached into his pocket and opened his perscription with shaking hands. He popped two pills into his mouth and waited for the calm to wash over him. He was still crying.
It was midday and the sun was beginning to fall, Naruto watched as the leaves above his head shook in the wind and he shut his eyes, tears still pouring down his cheeks. He drifted away to sleep, his medication making him unconcious to the world.
/~***~\\\\\
Kakashi walked towards Jiraiya's grave, knowing Naruto would be there. Although he wouldn't admit it, he was worried about Naruto too. Tsunade had begged him to go along with Naruto on this next mission, to try and convince him that Sasuke wasn't worth this anymore. Kakashi knew it would all be in vain, Naruto would never give up, but he was going to go, for Naruto.
Kakashi approached the grave when he saw the sleeping blond, pill bottle still in hand. He saw the stained tears on his cheeks and it saddened him. He scooped Naruto up into his arms and carried him home. He laid Naruto in bed and covered him up. Iruka met him at the house when Kakashi expressed his concern about Naruto's wellbeing.
All his medication did was turn him off to world for a while. Naruto's life had been consumed by Sasuke and there was nothing they could do about it. Naruto may have changed, but his stubbornness has stuck with him. No amount of medication or pleading with him was going to change his feelings for Sasuke.
"Iruka, we should tidy up his house. It's a mess, I mean look at it." Kakashi expressed. Iruka hated seeing Naruto like this, his heart broke for him. Kakashi and Iruka spent the evening cleaning up Naruto's home. The dust was thick, his clothes were filthy, and there wasn't anything in the fridge that wasn't expired. They wondered if he even ate anymore.
Naruto's shallow breaths echoed through the empty house. Kakashi and Iruka saw their way out and made their way home so they could rest up to go with Naruto on this mission tomorrow.
