It doesn't take long for you to figure Karkat Vantas out.
He's loud and obnoxious, but it's all just a show. He's the first to feed his own ego and the first to place all the blame on himself. Worst of all is the constant micromanagement.
God, it's driving you up the fucking wall. You don't really give a shit if he wants the leadership position, but you can't stand the way that he pretends to delegate and then spends the whole time breathing down everyone's necks. Even when it's obvious that the totality of the responsibility is too much for him to handle, he can't stand to let any of it go.
What gets you the most, though, is that sometimes he's really good at it. He actually gets people in a way that impresses you despite yourself. Even though he spends most of his time yelling at them and they spend most of their time rolling their eyes back, everyone likes him. More importantly, everyone trusts him. His bravado is so paper thin that nobody ever feels the need to second-guess his intentions.
Not that it matters because even when he does well he's always ready to nitpick over every detail until he finds a crisis.
You hate him immediately.
It doesn't take long for you to figure Dirk Strider out.
At a glance he seems calm and collected, but it's all just a front. Anyone that obsessed with being in control of absolutely everything precisely one hundred percent of the time has to have quantifiably more anxiety than gel in his hair. You'd think that someone that concerned with seeming logical and unruffled would understand that as long as other people are involved he can't possibly plan everything out and have it go right. What really gets you is the asinine attempts at manipulation.
Strider (the shitty one, not the one who is your friend and you can already see that a last name basis isn't going to last long) fucking sucks at understanding people. He honestly spends more time telling people that he's going to move them like living chess pieces than actually convincing anybody to do anything. The end result is that no one trusts him because they all believed him when he said he was going to trick them even though he should be pathetically easy to read. Most irritating of all is that you think that he's actually bought into his own bullshit. You've known some capable manipulators in your time and the fact that he thinks he's anywhere near their level pisses you off.
No, you change your mind. What's most irritating is that he's actually pretty capable, even if not in the way that he thinks he is. He's smarter and stronger than you want to give him credit for and if you're being honest with yourself (which you're often not) you're not surprised by the way that people look at him like he can perform miracles. It fucking kills you that he might actually do a good job if he stopped playing at subterfuge and let people work with him for a change.
You hate him instantly.
It doesn't take long for Karkat Vantas to figure you out.
He's quick to call you on your bullshit, but somehow he always knows when you're being sincere (even when people who should know you far better have their doubts). You can only watch, stunned, as he takes the interpersonal problems (months in the making) that destroyed the easy camaraderie of your session and shoves you all in the right directions to sort them out. He berates you constantly for your personal failings, but any time you start to get down on yourself he doesn't flinch from telling you that you're wrong to think of yourself as less capable than you are.
He makes you feel silly and frustrated and confused and kind of flattered.
You fall for him slowly.
It doesn't take long for Dirk Strider to figure you out.
He follows you willingly, but never lets you interfere past a certain point. He thinks you're full of shit (and tells you so – repeatedly), but he probably has more genuine faith in you than you do in yourself. He makes you take a step back and tells you to trust your friends and yourself enough to believe that things will work out. Somehow he can tell when the strain of maintaining your bluster starts to get to you and he's always there before you crack.
He makes you feel stupid and irritated and off-balance and oddly reassured.
You fall for him eventually.
The first time it happens is probably imprinted in your memory forever.
You're frustrated and angry and trying so hard not to show any of it, but you feel about ready to burst.
And then he's there and all sickles and kicking feet and scratching claws and you both completely lack any of the finesse and skill that either of you are capable of but it feels so good.
You tussle until you're both sweaty and exhausted. At the end neither of you get to catch your breath before you're kissing hard and desperate on the floor with your weapons lying discarded next to you and it's nothing like the sweet and slow goodbye you exchanged yesterday.
You don't think it gets any better than this.
You'll probably never forget the first time it happens.
The first time you flip black, you don't think that either of you are particularly surprised. But the first time you go back to red catches you off guard.
It happens so quietly that you don't even realize it at first. Not until you find yourselves tucked into each other on the couch, peacefully watching a movie that really isn't that good. It's when you glance over and see that he's taken off those ridiculous glasses and realize that you might be smiling kind of stupidly and you think that it might be nice to kiss him.
So you do.
You don't think it gets any more perfect than this.
This really isn't what either of you had wanted. It's definitely not what either you of had expected. It's probably exactly what both of you had needed.
Neither of you would have it any other way.
