Disclaimer: I own nothing, not even the Mary-Sues and Gary Stu.
A/N: I have no idea why I wrote this… basically an attempted parody of all the crummy Animorphs fics I've read.
It was in the woods. The Animorphs were morphing out of their random morphs and complimenting each other in open thought-speech.
"Man, we were great!" Marco exclaimed. The birds screeched their objections to the voices in their heads and flew away.
"Those yeerks sure are easy to beat! I loved it when Marco, you bashed the Visser on the head! Ahaha!" Jake of course, looking big and handsome.
They all morphed without scanning the area, they were Animorphs, they never got caught. Well... except for this once, but that didn't really count.
They were almost back to their normal states when they heard a sharp gasp and then a running of the woods. Jake morphed again, looking really handsome this time and caught the girl.
She was so startled that she came running back into camp. She was perfect and beautiful and her name was Mary-Sue, big surprise. Jake handsomely demorphed and looked at her.
"What did you see?" He asked her.
"Everything," she said.
"Yay!" Cassie exclaimed, "You can become one of us now!"
Jake glared at her. "Cassie... there's got to be some speech that was the same as the first book!"
"Fine," she said pouting, "You give your stupid speech and bore us all to death and then see if I care."
Jake threw a handsome look at Marco who shrugged and began the speech. "Well... when two people love each other very much, they get together-"
He was interrupted when Cassie kicked him hard in the... FOOT!
"Not that one!"
"Theworldsbeinginvadedbyalienracesandallwehavetofightthemisthepowertochangeintoanimals. Sowhatdoyousay? Areyouwithusornot?"
All of the Animorphs looked expectantly at the girl in front of them. She had a ridiculous grin on her face and said, "Let's do it."
"Big surprise, the bitch steals Rachel's line and expects everyone to be in awe." Cassie said, not looking up from the card game she had ensued with some random squirrel.
Mary-Sue touched the blue box and exclaimed about the feeling she got when she felt it. Everyone was in awe for thirty seconds then pretty much went back to ignoring her.
"Wait!" Mary-Sue exclaimed, "What do I do now?"
Jake shrugged and pointed to the woods behind them. "You could join with all the other Mary-Sue's we've inducted."
Through the trees, thousands of girls were swirling around. They looked like they were at a Victoria's Secret convention. They were all stunningly beautiful, smart and funny. They were Mary-Sues after all.
"But I don't wanna…" Mary-Sue whined. Her voice was very attractive because she was a, you guessed it, Mary-Sue.
Jake sighed a handsome sigh. "Fine then, what do you want to do instead?"
Mary-Sue grinned and walked devilishly towards him, "Let's make out."
"Fiiiiiiiiiine," Jake said as he sunk into a bush of thorns that interested him a hell of a lot more than Mary-Sue.
Tobias glanced to the depressed Mary-Sue and said, "You can't blame him really, every Mary-Sue's made out with him in attempts to cause a love triangle with them and Cassie."
"But I'm different!" Mary-Sue exclaimed as she placed Jake's hands on her firm ass. "See?"
Jake rolled his eyes and left to sit next to Cassie.
"Ok fine, can the others do this?" And Mary-Sue proceeded to touch her nose with her tongue, that's right- her tongue.
"Ooooh!" The others made sounds of amazement.
"None of the others could do that Jake…" Cassie started. "Maybe you know, you should make out with her."
Jake nodded hungrily and handsomely and ran to Mary-Sue's side.
They proceeded to make out while Cassie made comments about being ignored and how she was so going to break up with Jake if he didn't stop now. She burst into tears and drama ensued. So she resorted to what any normal Animorph would in a time of crisis, she morphed randomly in a public place.
A gasp, a chase and soon, a really, really incredibly good looking male was in the middle of the group.
It was silence. You see, no one had ever seen a Gary Stu. They didn't know what to do. Well, Cassie knew what she wanted to do, it was clear by the way she was groping his ass.
The others were surprised, they had never seen Cassie act like this. When she noticed the gawks she was getting she replied with the outburst, "What? Jake's supposed to make out with all these people but I don't get to?"
They shrugged and Jake went back to Mary-Sue while Cassie concentrated on Gary Stu. It made Tobias and Marco feel very alone… they cast nervous glances every which way and blushed when their eyes locked…
"Say Marco," Tobias said, "You wouldn't want to…"
Marco grinned and nodded.
"Of course I would!"
And they rushed to the back of the woods where the Mary-Sues were waiting to engulf them with their tongues and lips.
This left only Ax. Yes, I bet you didn't know Ax was there too! Ax smiled because he only had one line in this entire fic.
"Cinnamon buns! Bunz"
(End- For now.)
